Guarina1200

Hi all. I found this forum after becoming frustrated with a friend, whom I met once again after almost 8 years. To my surprised this person is a drug addict (a recovery addict according to him). I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust what he says, that was until I realized that he lied to me and used me to get a ride and probably get a fix (not sure if he did or not). I really cared about this person, but found myself very hurt and betrayed. When I confronted him, he did not denied lying to me, but was also defensive. I want to be understanding, but is hard when is someone whom you love. What can I do??? Part me wishes I've never known about him again, but the other part wants to help him. Is recovery possible?? At what cost?? Help!!

best

Recovery is possible and the cost is... his wanting it and becoming humbled enough that he seeks it.
I can't give it to him, nor can you.
The best thing any of us can do for the addicts in our lives...
Learn as much as we can about addiction so if and when a day comes that someone says...How can I stop... we would have an answer that tells them where help can be found.

Have a look about. Read the posts that say "sticky" beside them. They are located at the top of the boards on each forum. If you want added info .. Al Anon and Nar Anon meetings will give you lots of info and support if wanted.

nocellphone

Unfortunately, manipulation is part of the disease of addiction. If you hadn't been convenient, he'd have found another way to get what he wanted.


Recovery is always possible. Where there's breath, there's hope. As Best said, recovery becomes possible when he wants it, and not a moment before.

Recovery is possible for you, too, and Al-Anon is a wonderful place to find it. It may be odd to think that we, those who have addicted loved ones, might need recovery too, but we do. Think about this: he's the one using, and you're the one who's suffering.

That's what my life had become, and I needed to find relief and recovery from the effects of my loved ones' drinking and drugging. In Al-Anon, I found what I needed.

parentrecovers

welcome, guarina -

you sound like a caring person, your friend is lucky to have you.

i have a daughter who is a recovering alcoholic and cocaine user. weekly alanon meetings help me in my OWN recovery. it's all about taking care of yourself. keep posting here, and remember this about your friend's addiction - you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.

blessings, k

Anna

Welcome and the advice to take care of yourself is the best.

Check out the Friends and Families forums if you like, there is lots of support there.