Depressed, depressed, and more depressed

Old 01-14-2007, 12:55 PM
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Depressed, depressed, and more depressed

I have suffered from depression most of my life. However, after trying a lot of different meds, my doctor started me on one that was helping. It didn't cure my depression but it certainly helped level the playing field. About four months ago, I noticed I was sleeping more. My sleep patterns became downright weird. I get sleepy at 3 a.m., go into a deep sleep, and usually crawl out of bed around noon. I made myself get up at 10 a.m. one morning in the hopes I'd fall asleep earlier. Nope. Still up til 3.

I'm wondering if this deepening depression is a result of being exposed to my AH. I'm tired, no energy, feeling low, getting irritable. I went out of town for the weekend so I wouldn't have to be around the house while he's on his usual weekend bender. The thing is, I'm sick and tired of having to go somewhere. I'd like to have the house to myself. The problem is, he isolates and has no friends, so he drinks alone.

I won't know until I leave, but I'm wondering if the depression will start to ease. It sounds like a lot of folks here have gone through a lot of pain and heartache both living with the A as well as leaving the A.

I feel as if I'm worn out from just living itself. Man, this stinks!
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Old 01-14-2007, 01:02 PM
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Well, i don't know you whole story...but, what about getting job, haviing a point and purpose for you? Meet new people

Why are you staying if you feel he is adding to your depression?

Going away for the weekend is a bandaid, you still come back to the same enviorment.

What do you want for you? Only you know the answer.

Dolly
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Old 01-14-2007, 01:03 PM
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((((((((prodigal)))))))))

effexor has these side effects for me....but i keep taking it cause it was better that what i was feeling.

as bad as living without my xh, there came a time when i just knew i couldn't live with him....not one more minute. course, he helped me make that decision because for one thing, he would not work for more than two months at a time. if he had made good money, i have to admit, my decisions may have come later than sooner. but to have him right here with me, 24/7, and being so damn mean....it was just too much.

so do you have a plan, prod? i know you have been thinking of moving. have you made any progress on making that happen for you?

love to you
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Old 01-14-2007, 01:04 PM
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I began taking meds about 4 yrs ago while still in the house with AH. The stress on me from being in that situation caused my depression to worsen. (I had no idea until I left). There is only so much the meds can do for us when we are living in a situation..............

I feel like a yo-yo most days now that I am out of the house (3mos. and counting), But I feel better overall.
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Old 01-14-2007, 01:13 PM
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I realize I have to move from my current area. The unemployment rate is about 20 percent. What few jobs there are pay minimum wage. People who have halfway decent jobs hang onto them. I have updated my resume. I'm taking my final law course for my degree (B.S., Legal Studies). I'm taking remedial algebra at the local two-year college so I can improve my pathetic math skills.

I think that indicates I am doing something. Heck, I even cleaned my entire house last week. I mean, I really cleaned. So, I'm not just languishing in bed. Usually I just accept the lack of energy and make myself do stuff anyway.

Frankly, I'm kinda freaked because I'm in Phoenix this weekend and everytime I come up here I feel much better. Not so this weekend.

Maybe I just can't handle anymore on my plate right now. Maybe I'd better give myself a good kick and put more on my plate whether I like it or not.
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Old 01-14-2007, 01:19 PM
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I am on depression meds too (cipramil).
Perhaps the meds aren't for you? I got on with mine OK-Ish.
it could be that you don't need them, and they can give weird side affects.
I also would say say I sufered from depression my whole life.
Cipramil helped my mental collapse but I really dont trust GP's meds. I was offered valium for as long as I wanted it, but crazy as I was I didn't want another addictive drug.
I still take cipramil and it hasnt done me harm.
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Old 01-14-2007, 02:05 PM
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Something to consider aside from the meds is the biological sleep cycle that you may have. For example, I am truly a night owl. I am much less sleepy on fewer hours of sleep if I stay up late and sleep late. My aunt is the same way. Of course, society doesn't work this way. Sounds like to me if you are sleepy at 3 am and sleep until 10, you've gotten a normal amount of sleep. Of course, you had to force yourself up that day. Do you find you are sleeping more than nine hours on your meds? Not to downplay side effects, but I wonder if this is more a case of your meds helping your body to regulate to its normal cycle, which is not with the rest of the world's cycle?

Roni
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Old 01-14-2007, 02:10 PM
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Go forward, whether you take a low paying job or not. It's not about how much you make per hour...it's about you, your self-esteem...sometimes the best thing in life we can do is take a step backwords.

After I threw out my ex-abf, the same weekend I started looking for a job...not for financial reasons, I was running my own business from my home, I just knew I needed to get out of my home.

I was in retirement, had been a high powered executive for 25 years, took an early retirement that was offered. I work for peanuts now, I make for an hour what I made for 10 min previously, yet, it helped me. New faces,a chance to apply my skills...it is my salvation.

Taking classes are fine, we have many professional students in the world. It can become a very comfortable venue.

I read your responses to others posts, you seem to have it all together, are you applying the same advice to you?

You hold the key to your future, to your mental well-being, the ball is in your court...your turn to serve.

Dolly
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Old 01-14-2007, 02:55 PM
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My Dr put me on Effexor too. Did extremely wierd things to my sleep patterns too. So he gave me something else to help me sleep. That made me so groggy I couldnt function. So he gave me something else. Why do DR's always think you have to be medicated till youre placid. <smilie>


Finally I said how about I just dont take anything.. Did it ever occur to you that Im not chemically imbalanced. That any sane person would be depressed and under stressif they were going thru all this. Just give me some Valium to get me thru the trials and the media. Course he knows me and how I hate to take pills.
<smilie>


Just my opinion but maybe Effexor etc has a bad effect on us because were NOT chemically depressed. Were depressed or stressed for a legitamate reason. Id like to make all the bad stuff go away too but sometimes its normal to be depressed.


I still have weepy fits sometimes but I dont try to stop them unless Im in public. I figure its gotta come out somehow. You could hurt yourself trying to hold all that stuff in. Like trying to stiffle a really big sneeze. LOL.

BTW. When Im upset I sleep A LOT too. I think thats my bodies way of saying "I dont want to be here". Also I think we use up a TON of energy making ourselves do stuff we dont really want to do. <smilie> Fight or flight or something like that.
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Old 01-14-2007, 08:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Ronron View Post
Something to consider aside from the meds is the biological sleep cycle that you may have. For example, I am truly a night owl. I am much less sleepy on fewer hours of sleep if I stay up late and sleep late. My aunt is the same way. Of course, society doesn't work this way. Sounds like to me if you are sleepy at 3 am and sleep until 10, you've gotten a normal amount of sleep. Of course, you had to force yourself up that day. Do you find you are sleeping more than nine hours on your meds? Not to downplay side effects, but I wonder if this is more a case of your meds helping your body to regulate to its normal cycle, which is not with the rest of the world's cycle?

Roni
Prodigal -

This very well may be the case with you. I am the same way as Roni. I am the definition of a night owl. If left to my own internal clock I would not go to bed until 3 or 4 or 5 AM (sometimes later) and sleep for 8 or 9 hours. The annoying thing is that society doesn't particulalrly make changes for us night birds and things outside of the house have to be done during daylight hours. I personally think that every store, restaurant, bank, you name it should be open 24 hours a day! ;-)

I was also on anti-depressants for a large chunk of my late teen and early adult years. You really have to try out different ones and go with what works best for you. For me, it was Prozac. I know that sounds so cliche, but it's what worked for me.

I would suggest you talk with you doctor/therapist. Tell him/her your concerns and they should be able to help you. Oh, and I have learned from experience to always find a doctor/therapist that you are comfortable with. Finding the right doctor is very important.
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Old 01-14-2007, 09:28 PM
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My Dr. just put me on Prozac. Today is only day 3 so I haven't seen the affects yet. I can tell you that I've cried constantly, but that is cuz of AH and I fighting and trying to figure out if it's over. I'm hopeful about the Prozac, except a coworker of mine said it made her not want to have sex. I need that right now since there isn't any sex due to his trying to get sober and not being happy about it.
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Old 01-14-2007, 09:39 PM
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losinghim -

I just wanted to tell you that Prozac worked wonders for me. After trying several different medications Prozac was the one to go with.
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Old 01-14-2007, 11:27 PM
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I've been on Elavil, Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin XL (time-released). The Wellbutrin is my latest try and it is the one that has had the least side effects for me.

The Wellbutrin helped to some extent when I started on it in '03, but my psychiatrist told me that it wouldn't matter if I take it or not at this point because I've been diagnosed with "severe" depression. I don't know if it's any more severe or not, but I do know that when I stopped taking the medication for a week, it did not make one bit of difference. I stopped taking it one other time, and I DID notice a difference within 5 days. I noticed feeling depressed. Not so, this go 'round.

I guess the bottom line is that no matter who you are, living with an A is similar to the progression of their disease; we get worse the longer we're exposed to their disease just like them.
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Old 01-15-2007, 03:18 AM
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This is just my opinion. Some depression is chemically based. Some depression is situational. I think far too many people try to medicate themselves out of situational depression. The medicine would respond of the problem were chemical. The medicine wouldn't work if the depression is situational. You may have to try a few medications to find the right one. You've done that. Maybe it's time to try changing the situation. You can take enough meds to sit in a drooling heap but there is no quality of life doing that. Depression is anger. I would imagine living in a bad situation that doesn't change would make a person angry. Then more angry. Then more angry. Depressed, more depressed and more depressed. Changing the situation and taking power over your life might ease the depression.
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Old 01-15-2007, 09:58 AM
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I favor talk therapy, saying everything out loud seems to help so much, and maybe cry. Just my 2 cents.
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Old 01-15-2007, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by mallowcup View Post
This is just my opinion. Some depression is chemically based. Some depression is situational. I think far too many people try to medicate themselves out of situational depression. The medicine would respond of the problem were chemical. The medicine wouldn't work if the depression is situational. You may have to try a few medications to find the right one. You've done that. Maybe it's time to try changing the situation. You can take enough meds to sit in a drooling heap but there is no quality of life doing that. Depression is anger. I would imagine living in a bad situation that doesn't change would make a person angry. Then more angry. Then more angry. Depressed, more depressed and more depressed. Changing the situation and taking power over your life might ease the depression.

You said it tons better than me .
In my case Im stuck. So I deal as best I can.
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