stone

This is the third time I have come here trying to quit.
I don't feel like saying much right now and am just going to have a read of the good stuff here.

stone

I decided one thing today, I cannot do this alone. I am seeing my doctor asap and asking to be referred to a clinic for in- or out-patient detox and attending some type of support group.


I will be here a lot too, I think.

hope3

Hi stonerat, I am wondering if you are hitting yourself over the head right now, because that what it sounds like. Ouch!

Congratulations on the decision not to quit trying. You sound very sad. Do you have anything to be greatful for, if so write them down. I looked up your public profile and noticed this answer to music:I Like To Listen To::
"can't stand to listen to music anymore"

I hope you can find one thing that lifts your spirits, and I suggest you focus on that one thing until you can think of another. Baby steps.
Best wishes Hope3.

stone

Thanks hope, it's so nice to get a response.
I do feel very bad today, but finally admitting to myself I need help has cheered me up a little bit.
I have depression too which is making itself felt more just lately.
Finding it very hard to find things I am grateful for right now.
Nothing lifts my spirits lately but I am getting a couple of xbox games to try and take my mind off things.
Usually I would do housework, go for a walk etc but I am just to low to do even that right now.

Thanks again.

Anna

Hi Stonerat,

Never give up. That's great that you're seeking treatment. And, you know there is lots of support here.

stone

Thanks 51Anna, I can tell there are really good people here, I welcome any support right now and am happy to give support too.
I think if I hadn't realised I need help to quit I would be jumping off a cliff right now (semi-joke, I am not that bad).

gypsytears

Hi stonerat . Good for you on deciding to try again. Seeing your doctor is a very wise thing to do. I'm sure his medical help will go a long way in making your recovery a success this time. I wish you well.

stone

Thankyou Gypsy Tears, I am thinking of trying AA too, I was put off by the higher power thing until I read Nuudawns post (and some others) in this thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-about-aa.html

I already know the place I want to be reffered to for detox help and they have a support group too. If it isn't all I need then I will try AA.

hope3

Quote Stonerat "Finding it very hard to find things I am grateful for right now."
Nothing lifts my spirits lately but I am getting a couple of xbox games to try and take my mind off things."

Stonerat, Better xbox games than alcohol or other numbing toxins, thats a good start...........

I used to drink to take my mind off my depression and prblems only to wake up the next day feeling more depressed and with more problems the day before.

I am 40 something days sober........and have embrassed my depression and problems.........and something wonderful happened stonerat, yes it is painful, but I learned it is much less painful each day as I get used to my new method of not numbing but embrassing and finding real everlasting solutions to those depressions and problems............LOL (lots of love) your way I'm betting on you and I am not a gambler.......Hope3.

stone

Congrats on the 40 days hope3, I am sure it is hard but I bet you feel a million times better for it.
I feel that your bet is a safe one, I feel this time is the one.
Lots of love right back at you

gypsytears

Hey Stonerat . I say go for and try anything and everything to get where you want to be. Sober right? Support groups are great. I am going to IOP right now and it's very important to me and my recovery right now. Some nights are more insightful than others, but mostly it's all good. AA is worth looking into also of course as is reading and posting here. Very good online support here!

I would take my advice with a grain of salt... I'm only 61 days alcohol free today myself.

Hope

Support is very important. I'm glad that you are here reaching out. You are not alone in the struggle!

Ultra-addict

Stonerat,
I'm glad you showed up here, you will definitely get all the support that we can give you. I just got out of a 30 treatment center, and it was the best thing that I have ever done. I'm now 40 something days clean, and have never felt better. For me, the key has been going to meetings no matter what. No excuses, no rationalizing, no justifying. I've found that just coming clean with other addicts/alcoholilcs and with my family has been the most therapeutic thing for me. Hang in there and remember, you don't have to drink/use just for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself and yesterday is gone. Cast aside the shame and guilt, those were the things that were keeping me from seeking help. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you just have "a disease that can be arrested at some point." I'll be praying for you.

stone

Hi, gypsy, ultra and hope,.
Gypsy your advice is more meaningful right now than peoples advice who have done it.
You look after yourself, or I will come and shake you.
Thank you to all, you really have given me strength..
Lets beat this demon.


I almost feel violent towards my addiction, thank god I never was violent.

gypsytears

Thanks Stonerat . No need to come after me or shake me... I'm doing my best at looking after myself .


You get looking after yourself and try to channel some of that negative energy towards conquering your addiction. It can be done. This forum is full of people really doing it. You can too.

CarolD

for you stonerat

indigo

Good for you glad you found us and are sticking with it.

indigo

stone

Thanks CarolD and Indigo.