Summer

My sister called and started in with 100 questions. I haven't talked to her about the alcoholism for a long time because she and I always disagree and she wouldn't even think of learning about it. I guess because I live with it and she doesn't but we have relatives with alcohol and drug problems as well. Anyway it caught me off guard when she phoned asking if he was drinking, what's he doing about it, are you happy, etc. I can't stand talking to her about it! I said don't worry about it, we are working on it, I am working on it, he might be starting to work on it too. I didn't want to go into detail but she kept on and on. Anyway we hung up mad. I have no idea how to talk to her about this.

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi Summer!

Bless her heart, she wants to help. She has excellent codie potential.

Does she live close enough that you could invite her to go to a meeting with you? Then she could know all without you having to explain anything. There's no reason for you to feel like you have to go into details if you don't want to. If she doesn't like that, it's her little red wagon, right? Boundaries don't have to apply just to drug users in your life.

hugs,
Smoke

Gabe

People can ask the DUMBEST questions sometimes. Even my mother does this about my ex-A and my mother is a recovering alcoholic herself. This is why I am very selective as to who I tell about having an Ex and a mother who are recovering alcoholics. (Ex-A now qualifies as "recovering"...I think he has strung together about 45 days of sobriety...Praise God and pass the chocolate!) I don't think that people mean to be dumb when they ask these kinds of questions. Their intentions are good, it's just that their "edit function" on what comes out of their mouths doesn't work so well.
Smoke's suggestion about your sister going to a meeting with you is first rate. If that doesn't work in the dynamics of your relationship with your sister, you could suggest that she go to one on her own. Whatever is the most peaceful alternative for you.
Peace,
Gabe

JT

Maybe she saw something on TV or read a magazine article that got here thinking about you. I am sure she cares, but like Smoke said you don't have to talk to her about it. And if she doesn't like that? Well, she doesn't like that.

Hugs,
JT

Summer

Thanks everyone. That helped. She probably is a codie just like me. I have suggested a meeting but she won't go because she doesn't think she needs too since she doesn't live with it. It's too bad. I'm sure she'll call in a day or two and everything will be o.k. again.

Gabe

Actually Smoke said "if she doesn't like that, it's her little red wagon, right?"
Ah, I haven't heard such a fetching phrase since the last time I was in a restaurant that actually had sausage gravy on the menu.
And by the way JT, the bunny in the bathtub made me laugh 'til my eyes leaked.
Peace,
Gabe