tgirl4will

Hi all,
I recently found this site, and have been reading so much. I am a Mom of a 16 year old son. He was recently expelled from his second school. His Dad and I told him that he would have to go into rehab, or leave our home. He got out of the car, flipped us off and walked away. He was gone for 11 days, returning on Christmas Eve. We were in the car within an hour taking him to rehab. We have been fighting this battle for over a year and are emotionally exhausted. I hope that he makes a decision to not use, but on the other hand I am afraid to hope. My heart hurts. We have a "family weekend" at rehab this weekend. We have been through so much family seminars! I am not the one not working my program, he is. I don't even want to see him right now. I am just glad that I have found this site. There are so many people in my community who are trying to comfort us, but don't understand how painful this journey is. You guys do! Thanks for listening!

cmc

Welcome aboard! I'm so glad to hear you have been reading up and doing what you can to help yourself. You're right about the people here sharing an understanding and although I'm sorry to hear of yet another family in such pain, it's a comfort to know that we can learn from each other and offer support.

Cynay

Welcome to SR.... I glad you found us

You have found the right place for people who really "get" it .... though Im sorry you have to be in your situation... Im glad you dont feel alone anymore.

I look forward to getting to know you, read the stickies at the top for the forms, they have alot of good info.

FormerDoormat

If you don't feel like attending the family weekend, then don't. Do something that you enjoy instead. It must be terrible to watch your child struggle with alcoholism. It was hard enough watching my boyfriend do so. My heart goes out to you and every parent dealing with addicted children. Have you attended Alanon? It might help.

Welcome to the forum.

WantsOut

Just a thought - when I was that age I drank too much too but it was not about being addicted to alcohol or getting blitzed, it was about self destruction. I hated myself so much that I used alcohol as a means to hurt and abuse myself, as well as a way to get the adults around me to pay attention to me and care for me.

I have no no no idea about your son, just thought I'd share my experience with you.

parentrecovers

welcome, tgirl - i have a 22 year old daughter in early recovery from alcohol and cocaine. 100 days of clean and sober, and still a lot of work to do - on her side and mine. she also did inpatient rehab (in wisconsin actually - the rogers program in oconomowoc) and is now living in a half way house. i understand your frustration - it is a slow process. we (my husband and i) also attended a lot of family weekends. i learned something new everytime. does your program also include family counseling? we found that to be very valuable.

my husband and i attend alanon meetings every week and have private counseling every other week. that helps us.

blessings to you, your husband, and your son - kim

tgirl4will

Thanks for the advice. My son is in rehab in Illinois (we looked at Rogers as well, Kim) We live very near there.
Is the halfway house for girls only? We are researching the next step after rehab, trying to find a good place for him since we all agree he can't come home.
Our program does include family couseling. We just haven't gotten it schduled yet. I will. I am also hopeful about attending alanon. I have gotten info on our local meeting and am going to start next week. I realized I need a community that understands where I am at.
I look forward to getting to know you all as well. thanks for taking the time to reach out to me.
Trudy

parentrecovers

take advantage of the family counseling, if you can. it really made a difference for us. my daughter is in the hazeldon house downtown chicago - it's a 3/4 house for males and females. i don't know the age they take folks? there's a lot of young people there, though - 18 is the youngest i know of. your rehab should be able to point you in the right direction for a halfway. i know there's some close to you, because some of the people we met at rogers are there now. we looked at several, all in chicagoland area. our main priority was to find one that had a 30 day sobriety rule before entering, and one that provided ongoing counseling. yes, it's smart to start researching, because we found that the well run facilities have waiting lists. hope this helps, k

lilac

No insightful advice, to offer, just wanted to welcome you to SR and extend a (((Hug))) to you.