frstnm

Im not perfect BUT...I havent even mentioned my dad's friend.
She is what puts the trash in trailer trash.
I dont have a problem with the trailer I have a problem with the person.
After 2 weeks of him living in Maine she had moved all of her crap into HIS new house started putting up frilly flowers and doilies in HIS new house (200 years old and is now decorated in a Nautical and Colonial/ New England style because he hated it) and started telling everyone around him what to do when she is F*CKING CRAZY, MEAN, CRUEL IMMATURE AND STUPID - JUST PLAIN IGNORANT !!!!!!!!!!
Here are some expamples:
She walks around singing freakin show tunes and goseple in off key and poor timing/taste and at the top of her lungs - she has to be constantly reminded to take her meds - it had only been 6 months since her husband died and everyone from the Island says "OH, she has REALLY changed..."
She cannot spell passport papers, not to mention filling them out on her own. She spells sprite - spright and she drinks it every day.
My friend Michelle from High School called and the message said "Matchel caled".
My dad has had to send her to remedial reading and writing classes because he is embbarssed.
I found a seagull that had taken sick or been injured and she told me to snap its neck and feed it to the cats.
I came accross some baby birds and apparently I should have gotten the lawnmower out and run them over.
I had been up there for a couple days and she left a three page note to my father teling him that it was my fault that she was leaving him "forever" - just to make him miserable.
She now leaves when any of his family comes to see him - we know it makes him lonely and sad so we dont go to see him and he is no spring chicken.
Even though I havent always gotten along w my old man I have worked very hard to try to make amends and make it a better relationship and she has destroyed that.
She had no idea how to even use a computer and was constantly breaking my fathers so he bought her one - she has no idea about working in the industry and told myself and a friend that we should give up our career goals and go work at a gas station for $7/hr said it was a good job......and good pay. WE HAVE ALOT MORE TO OFFER THAN THAT!!!
She has never even held a job because she cant fill out the paperwork and has no skills.
She once had a job in a kitchen that served about 6 meals max a day and prides herself on being a cook ( I have 20 years in the business as a chef) her food is either tasteless, foul, weird, or just plain putrid and has made peole sick on a regular basis. her food handling techniques would get McDonalds shut down and sued. Has no idea what she is doing and could burn boiled water.
Her freaking daughter is just as bad - she somehow got to be an EMT and dropped an old lady down a 50 foot cliff.
they dont let her go on real calls anymore and have her do transports only.
she has more facial hair that any guy I know after two weeks into a camping trip and shaves more than I do.
Dont get me wrong , I love Maine and most of the folks I have met up there. Its just not a real good place (in myopinon) to work and raise a family. There are so many financial, career, education, mental health issues up there they cannot be counted. Its a great place to retire.
Mad, Resentful, you friggin bet !!!!
I just got on a rant about it. Usually, I try not to even think about it because it does **** me off and I just have to go through the motions of letting it go.

gypsytears

!!!

I hope that by posting all of that, it does help you let go frstnm. There's not much you can do about her anyway right? I never liked my father's gf either... at least I don't have to live with her as I did way back when I was still in HS. I can't even think of her w/o getting annoyed, so I put her out of my head.

Anna

Letting go and stepping away is the best thing you can do.

laurie6781

I am glad for you that you feel comfortable enough here at SR to vent and get the toxins out!!!!!!

Writing in a journal also helps.

Unfortunately, we cannot change others, we can only change ourselves. If you can find a way to accept her just as she is....................you will feel much less frustration.

Try and find the 'good' things about her or the situation. One that immediately comes to mind, is that apparently your father would rather she be there than be alone. So, if in some small way she makes your dad happy and comfortable that is a 'good thing'.

If she chooses to leave when any of the family comes to visit, so be it, its here choice, and then you can have alone time with your dad.

I find for me, that when I get in a 'negative' mode then all I can see is the negative. It takes work on my part to find something 'positive' and then something else 'positive' about situation or a person, but once I get on a roll of positivity (is that even a word??? rofl) it gets easier, and my resentment or frustration or anger or all 3 seem to abate.

She really is not the problem your attitude about the situation is. You can continue to allow the situation to rent lots of space in your head, or..........................you can let go of it, let HP handle it, and you can then get back to the business of enjoying and growing in your own recovery.

J M H O

Again, thank you for feeling comfortable enough to vent here at SR.

Love and hugs,