Can I do it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Medina Ohio
Posts: 3
Can I do it?
hello,
I am looking for help regarding the fact, that I know I am hurting myself with alcohol. I drink daily, to stifle pain, to help me sleep, to numb myself from my emotional and financial problems. I come from a long line of alcoholics.(Dad, grandfather, grandmother, uncles, aunts, and sister) A few months ago I had a series of clonic-tonic seizures, was put on a medication that says not to drink, and I drink anyway. My choices are destroying my life, I know I feel better, less depressed when I do not drink, but then i convince myself 1 or 2 to help me relax will not hurt, then that turns into 6 or 8. I have an ill 17 year old daughter (crohn's disease) a hard to handle 19 year old girl, an exhusband who wlked away from my girls when I walked away from him ( alcholic, bi-polar disorder, abusive) I do not blame anyone but me for my drinking. I have allowed myself, to become what I hated most in the world. Would love to talk to people, who may feel the same way. I still do not know how to say, I will will NEVER have a drink again.
Thank you
Kathy
I am looking for help regarding the fact, that I know I am hurting myself with alcohol. I drink daily, to stifle pain, to help me sleep, to numb myself from my emotional and financial problems. I come from a long line of alcoholics.(Dad, grandfather, grandmother, uncles, aunts, and sister) A few months ago I had a series of clonic-tonic seizures, was put on a medication that says not to drink, and I drink anyway. My choices are destroying my life, I know I feel better, less depressed when I do not drink, but then i convince myself 1 or 2 to help me relax will not hurt, then that turns into 6 or 8. I have an ill 17 year old daughter (crohn's disease) a hard to handle 19 year old girl, an exhusband who wlked away from my girls when I walked away from him ( alcholic, bi-polar disorder, abusive) I do not blame anyone but me for my drinking. I have allowed myself, to become what I hated most in the world. Would love to talk to people, who may feel the same way. I still do not know how to say, I will will NEVER have a drink again.
Thank you
Kathy
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi Kathy,
Welcome!
I am glad that you recognize you are hurting yourself. I used to hurt myself with alcohol too and at the time, I thought I deserved nothing better. It was so hard to care about myself. You need to begin to love yourself and you will make the right choices in your life.
And, you don't need to focus on 'forever'. Take small steps and stay sober today.
There is lots of support and information here, so keep posting.
Welcome!
I am glad that you recognize you are hurting yourself. I used to hurt myself with alcohol too and at the time, I thought I deserved nothing better. It was so hard to care about myself. You need to begin to love yourself and you will make the right choices in your life.
And, you don't need to focus on 'forever'. Take small steps and stay sober today.
There is lots of support and information here, so keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somwhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,175
Hi and welcome to SR. I am a community greeter at SR. Just dropping you a note to say welcome and hope you find the experience strength and hope here that you are looking for.
If at any time you have questions and are unsure of who to ask, the greeters are identified by their names being in bold green and the moderators are in bold blue. We are all very open to questions or concerns.
Peace, Levi
If at any time you have questions and are unsure of who to ask, the greeters are identified by their names being in bold green and the moderators are in bold blue. We are all very open to questions or concerns.
Peace, Levi
~Author of My Life~
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
********{kathy}}}}}}
Firts.....huge warm hugs coming your way. I hear your pain and frustration......and fear. I and many others here have been right where you are.
We all only can live from one moment to the next so do not trouble yourself with the whole 'forever' thing.it's too much to think about when even getting through the morning, or night is barely manageable.
There are many resources to educate/guide/encourage you. What I started out doing was reading everything I could about people who had successfully learned to live without a substance. I medicated/drank/avoided pain for a very long time.to the point of almost dead.........and what I believed was insanity...and frankly it WAS insane......doing the same thing.expecting to feel bettre/different. Nothing chnages if nothing changes is so very true.
Research various recovery models, keep reaching out here.it helped to save my life........you CAN recover my friend.You must WANT it more than you NEED it......baby steps.........I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
********{Warmest, tightest hopeful hugs}}}}}}}}
Firts.....huge warm hugs coming your way. I hear your pain and frustration......and fear. I and many others here have been right where you are.
We all only can live from one moment to the next so do not trouble yourself with the whole 'forever' thing.it's too much to think about when even getting through the morning, or night is barely manageable.
There are many resources to educate/guide/encourage you. What I started out doing was reading everything I could about people who had successfully learned to live without a substance. I medicated/drank/avoided pain for a very long time.to the point of almost dead.........and what I believed was insanity...and frankly it WAS insane......doing the same thing.expecting to feel bettre/different. Nothing chnages if nothing changes is so very true.
Research various recovery models, keep reaching out here.it helped to save my life........you CAN recover my friend.You must WANT it more than you NEED it......baby steps.........I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
********{Warmest, tightest hopeful hugs}}}}}}}}
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Medina Ohio
Posts: 3
Thank you all, who have taken the time to say something.
brandi, I am grateful for my Daughters health improving for the first time in 3 years, I am glad I raised my girls to know me, my honesty, tenacity, love and humor, i am glad they can tell me things i do not want to know, and I love them anyway. I am grateful to have gotten myself out of a bad marraige and did it, when nobody figured I could, or would. I am grateful to still be alive. I am grateful for the dear friend and roomate that I have, no matter how rotten other people think he is. I am grateful, that i can look in the mirrior, and see who I am, and hold my head high, and be proud of what i have done..
silly ain't it?
Kathy
brandi, I am grateful for my Daughters health improving for the first time in 3 years, I am glad I raised my girls to know me, my honesty, tenacity, love and humor, i am glad they can tell me things i do not want to know, and I love them anyway. I am grateful to have gotten myself out of a bad marraige and did it, when nobody figured I could, or would. I am grateful to still be alive. I am grateful for the dear friend and roomate that I have, no matter how rotten other people think he is. I am grateful, that i can look in the mirrior, and see who I am, and hold my head high, and be proud of what i have done..
silly ain't it?
Kathy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Finding out what I have been missing!
Posts: 1,011
Kathy, my father always says, you can do anyhting you put your mind to.
I can realate to the unwillingness to say "I can never drink again" never is a long time and I liked my drinks too much. That is what kept me advancing my alcoholism for 30 years to the point where being sober had become that of a rareity.
When I came here I heard, I will not drink today, Okay I can do that I will deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. And here I am almost 7 months later sober...
It is mind over matter, what do you want. You have admited that drinking is destroying you, Take your life back, commit to not drinking today and talk to us again tomorrow.
I can realate to the unwillingness to say "I can never drink again" never is a long time and I liked my drinks too much. That is what kept me advancing my alcoholism for 30 years to the point where being sober had become that of a rareity.
When I came here I heard, I will not drink today, Okay I can do that I will deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. And here I am almost 7 months later sober...
It is mind over matter, what do you want. You have admited that drinking is destroying you, Take your life back, commit to not drinking today and talk to us again tomorrow.
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