LiLL

It's the hardest when things look hopeful... because as an A spouse, i'm bound to get more disppointed than ever.

During the past year, i've somewhat managed to take my hands off my AH's drinking. He knows he's an alcoholic. He's been trying to quit. And he's been able to stay sober for weeks or months between his drinking bouts, which normally lasts for 1-2 weeks each. During each bout, i'd say nothing. I'd feel sad and upset, but I wouldn't say a word to try to stop his drinking...... until just now!!

i thought he'd stop sooner this time because he has a job now. i really thought he'd stop today because it's been more than two weeks and it's about "time". i thought he'd stop, because during the past several days, he'd wake up every morning feeling so remorseful..... and he tried to detox again this morning. Then he had to go out. I did the most stupid thing: I tried to stop him by reasoning with him, telling him it's his deasese trying to trick him etc, i cried, i felt i could help, i felt hopeless ... What a major relapse, on my part.

oh well, guess i'll just have to stick to my backup weekend plan. grocery shopping and visiting my parents. if we didn't have a cat, i really wish to be away for a while....

tracy1963

Cats are pretty self-sufficient. I leave mine for up to a week. I just leave huge amounts of food and water.

FormerDoormat

How about make the entire day a caring for yourself day? Skip the grocery shopping, veer off in the direction of the closest beauty shop or nail salon where they can pamper you, and then head over to your folks house.

mcdo1268

How about giving him a consequence and sticking to it! Do not threat anything unless you intend to follow through. He knows he can get away with it. Until he is faced with a severe consequence he may not see any destruction. He needs medical detox possibly , definitely rehab and aa. He is no good to himself so how can he be good to anyone else.

LiLL

Thanks for all your suggestions! I'll be spending the night (maybe a few) over at my parents', just for a little break from his crazy talk and stuff....

tracy1963: hope my cat will take good care of herself when i'm away. actually she tends to stay away from my AH when he's drinking. she knows! smart girl!

formerdoormat: already made an appointment for a facial treatment next Saturday. definitely won't stay home again to give my AH the moral support i thought he needed....

mcdo1268: the ultimate consequence will be me leaving him for good. i'm waiting for the day when i'll wake up and know i'm ready....