frstnm

Ok so apparently many have drank problematically when they are angry....
many have said that the anger stemmed from their own fear of something.....

Here's my story from today.............
Just got home from a meeting and the auto dealer
kinda crappy on both
dealer shut me off on my commercial discount wo warning or explaination - I think it has something to do with the last time i was there - they tried to screw me and charge me xtra - god i wanted to drink right after that

gives some good insight on me - I guess I need to look at anger patience and coping

the meeting would have been good but I didnt see or hear any of it
I was waiting online for the food bank right next door and it took an hour and a half to do 5 people not including me - less chat and more splat as they say in the restaurant business
then when I got to the front some jerk shows up dry and we are all standing in the rain
I told this (very large) guy - hey Im all for going some place for a few minutes but where the hell you been pal ??!! Ive been here a long time and what you are trying to do is uncool !!
I dont think that everyone else had any problem with what I said
the person inside tells him that she has told him repeatedly that he has to stand in line like the rest of the people who are getting rained on
hey I didnt even want alot - just some coffee, tp, fresh veggies and some chocolate and bread and I was out of there in less than 10 minutes
could have used the time in the meeting I guess..
maybe I should have been more patient but too bad !
I stand on my statement !! F him !!
same here.....anger stemming from fear ??

I also got in touch w unemployment and they wont pay for past weeks and they were rude and unprofessional
I sucked it up and stuffed my anger and frustration - I dont know why.
I have always been able to get my point across and get what I need but only if I feel that I am right
I dont like stuffing the feelings
Ive had to stuff then when I lost my health insurance as well - also a state thing...
I know that if I was to do the same kinds of things I would get fired
I guess good help is hard to find especially w the state

ok I got that out and Im feeling better but geeze !!
any opinions, insight, suggestions feed back ???

Jersey Nonny

Sounds like you had one heckuva day!

Have you ever heard the four "triggers" for drinking? HALT...stands for Hungry - Angry - Lonely - Tired.

Now...did you feel like a drink because you were angry? Or were you angry because you felt like having a drink? Either way, maybe you'd better try to do something to rein in those feelings of anger...seems like a lot of wasted energy.

frstnm

yep it was just a SWELL day....not
I was definetly in a HALT situation
If I was just angry thats ok and I understand why. I believe that sometimes people just suck. To some degree I believe that anger may be conneected to fear but on the other hand I cant go through life letting EVERYone walk all over me and forgiving them without question. Ive spent too much of my life stuffing things and drinking as a result.
I dont understand what I might be afraid of if fear led to anger. I cant find any connection.

Rusty Zipper

wow, life on lifes terms... wad'a day!... ouch'y wow-wow!

hiya frstnm...

what works for me, yep, there are ligitament complaints in life... its how i handle them...

i found that stoping, and looking at the reality of whats in front of me, not what "I" want to see, helps me to see it through in a practical, and posative way... and dont get me wrong.. i have been known to wild out here and there... problem with that... i feel like crap after...

good wishes frstnm..................................... xxoo, zip

frstnm

Jersey G
I will shut up now and listen to the wise advise of my elders - has always been my SOP - it also works in the program.
I definetly dont want to be wasting energy or time - life is too short.
Im trying to understand myself as a whole and work on things in a healthy manner; Im not an angry person.
I believe that I wanted a drink because I was angry and to some degree that I was angry because I wanted a drink. Im trying to live life on life's terms and gain the tools I need to cope with life - good, bad or whatever...

Anna

I don't think it's about stuffing your feelings. In fact, stuffing my feelings was what led me to alcohol. In my opinion, you can look at the standing in line situation, for example. You're impatient and angry. You can feel those emotions and recognize them and then, say ok, and move on. You don't need to express your anger or stuff it down. Accept it for what it is, an emotion, and then move on.

Jersey Nonny

Hey, there, frstnm...just because I've lived longer doesn't mean I have all the answers...far from it. You asked for

Quote:

any opinions, insight, suggestions feed back ???

and I was trying to look at your situation from my perspective. What Anna said makes a great deal of sense to me, too. You see, I am "old enough to know better...young enough to learn"...and, I hope I'll always remain teachable.

frstnm

jersey G I definetly appreciate the feedback - i find that sometimes I just need to shut up and listen - didnt mean any offense if you took some ;-)

anna - I was patient for an hour and a half through a very slow proces of handing out food (to only 5 people) and no one had seen the dude who wanted to jump into line saying he was there first and should be able to go infront of everyone
apparently the dude had pulled the same thing repeatedly in the past
I was just trying to get a little food and to a AA meeting next door - I hardly took anything and gave a bunch of stuff to a single mother of 3 because she needed it more than I
I do try to practice more patience and let things go at this point
I never got to the meeting and only heard the closing....
thanks though ;-)

frstnm

I went to a meeting this morning and talked about this type of stuff and actually got some answers to some of my questions there as well as from SR
thanks !

Jersey Nonny

No offense taken...I just didn't want you to feel intimidated by the oldtimer advice. Glad you didn't decide to "clam up"...gotta keep talking through those negative feelings...sometimes better than acting on them, especially in the case of anger.