I am not new but back again after being off for a while
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: SE Oklahoma
Posts: 108
I am not new but back again after being off for a while
Hi folks:
Well, I have slipped off the wagon a couple of times over the years and feel I need help - I thought this would be the best place to start. I had a hysterectomy back in June 06 and the doctor gave me pain meds. I started recognizing the abuse patterns and found a product to help me withdrawal off of the pain killers. This product is known as Kratom, yep Kratom. Worked great for eliminating the withdrawals immediately, but was just as addicting for me. I continued to take Kratom for a 4 month period spending upwards of $5,000 online for the cream dela cream. I sought the help of a doctor, after trying numerous times to stop, and he supplied me with suboxone. Worked great, I am down to 4 mg per day, which will change next week to 2mg per day. My problem is that I feel like drinking again. I know it is to compensate for not taking pain meds, etc. but I don't get why I feel like I have to drink. I purchased a pint last night, mixed it up and dumped out every glass I made until the pint was gone. I actually ended up drinking one full drink during this time - is this weird? I have been drinking since my brother in law passed away on Thanksgiving - I was there when he passed. My sister in law lives next door to us, and father in law on the other side. It was so peaceful but yet obviously stressful. I suppose I am looking for support to help me understand why I am feeling this way and talk it out. There is much more to the stress level lately, my mom is having an affair and sharing this information with me - awful situation to be in. Thanks for listening.
Well, I have slipped off the wagon a couple of times over the years and feel I need help - I thought this would be the best place to start. I had a hysterectomy back in June 06 and the doctor gave me pain meds. I started recognizing the abuse patterns and found a product to help me withdrawal off of the pain killers. This product is known as Kratom, yep Kratom. Worked great for eliminating the withdrawals immediately, but was just as addicting for me. I continued to take Kratom for a 4 month period spending upwards of $5,000 online for the cream dela cream. I sought the help of a doctor, after trying numerous times to stop, and he supplied me with suboxone. Worked great, I am down to 4 mg per day, which will change next week to 2mg per day. My problem is that I feel like drinking again. I know it is to compensate for not taking pain meds, etc. but I don't get why I feel like I have to drink. I purchased a pint last night, mixed it up and dumped out every glass I made until the pint was gone. I actually ended up drinking one full drink during this time - is this weird? I have been drinking since my brother in law passed away on Thanksgiving - I was there when he passed. My sister in law lives next door to us, and father in law on the other side. It was so peaceful but yet obviously stressful. I suppose I am looking for support to help me understand why I am feeling this way and talk it out. There is much more to the stress level lately, my mom is having an affair and sharing this information with me - awful situation to be in. Thanks for listening.
Im not crazy and neither am I
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts
Posts: 2,088
I probably dont have the sober time you had before you went back out but....
I would say you are coping with your loss the same way I would in the past - drinking.
The uncomfortable feelings you get from hearing about you mom's affair - the same thing
I guess without knowing you or your family I would say tell her to stop telling you and that it makes you uncomfortable. If she doesnt stop You may have to make a decision about being with her. Only you can decide what is the right thing to do.
The interest in booze....apparently from my own experience after one has gone back out and felt the relief of being intoxicated it is easier than dealing with the loss and uncomfortable feelings.
Thats just me though
best of luck
I would say you are coping with your loss the same way I would in the past - drinking.
The uncomfortable feelings you get from hearing about you mom's affair - the same thing
I guess without knowing you or your family I would say tell her to stop telling you and that it makes you uncomfortable. If she doesnt stop You may have to make a decision about being with her. Only you can decide what is the right thing to do.
The interest in booze....apparently from my own experience after one has gone back out and felt the relief of being intoxicated it is easier than dealing with the loss and uncomfortable feelings.
Thats just me though
best of luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: SE Oklahoma
Posts: 108
There is so much more that applies here as well, I gave up my Harley - the one thing that kept me sober while my husband has his paid for in full in the garage. It is also the one thing that ruined many things for me and improved many things for me. Money, who doesn't have issues with that? I have asked my mom to stop talking about her affair, the man is a friend of the family - he just lost his wife a week ago. She came to OK (from his house in TN) for Christmas and stayed for three days. She was mean to my children, not the same mom I knew at all. When she went to get on the plane - she hugged me and said I don't want to go back to CA, which is where my father is and would be the end of her two week vacation away from him. Her reason for going alone was this friend's dying wife. I thought she was going to say, I will miss you so much. Sh*t, he means that much to her that she could not have a good time with her grandchildren.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Welcome goneriding!
I must say, you have some definite thinking there that is a lot like mine. Which is to say, alcoholic. It took until my 5th step to realize I had a lot of these traits.
For me it was musical keyboards and a '74 Mercury Capri. Still, the thinking is martyrdom
My ex wife used to tell me to make my Mom quit doing so and so, and vice versa. You can't control others behaivor. although we all try.
I got mad when my daughter never said thank you for a car I gave her.
Resentment is created when people don't act according to how we expect them to.
I found help for these life problems in a 12 step program. Life is a lot easier for me now days.
I must say, you have some definite thinking there that is a lot like mine. Which is to say, alcoholic. It took until my 5th step to realize I had a lot of these traits.
I gave up my Harley
I have asked my mom to stop talking about her affair
I thought she was going to say, I will miss you so much
Resentment is created when people don't act according to how we expect them to.
I found help for these life problems in a 12 step program. Life is a lot easier for me now days.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
I found help for these life problems in a 12 step program. Life is a lot easier for me now days.
Let your Mom deal with her own problems...the ones she has created. When she starts bringing this stuff up, just politely tell her you'd rather not discuss it right now...if she persists, tell her you'll have to hang up. Sometimes there's just nothing else some folks understand.
Whatever the circumstances for having to get rid of the Harley...it can be replaced...all in due time. You cannot be replaced...so, do whatever it takes to get off/stay off the pills and booze.
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