Slow Process
Royalty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
Slow Process
I am beginning to think that AH is almost out of his "denial" phase. This is very encouraging for me, since I have stuck it out for many years.
He had a great week, even as many as three days in a row with no alcohol. We have had many calm discussions about alcohol. He wants to get healthy starting the first of the year....and I had to mention that getting healthy meant doing without the beer.....and he agrees. I also asked if he would get a check up from doctor for liver/prostate/cholesterol and such.....he said, yes he wants to do that.
He has been making a few comments like: "do you realize how much I was drinking? Like two cases on weekends and about a six pack a night?" Yes dear......I KNOW! lol It was just so funny to hear him say it. His other comment was at dinner tonight, we had one margarita each, and my daughter said something about he should drive home, because that is going to make mom stupid......and he jumped in and said "no, i've been drinking alot less, and smaller amounts effect me more now"...... that's admitting he has a problem right?
I hate to get my hopes up, but we have had such a peaceful week, and I am really feeling good about the changes that he wants to make. I think it has something to do with his dad being in hospital, for heart surgery last week (and is home doing just great).....but I think it had an impact on AH. I hope he sticks with it.....and maybe eventually he will decide to join a group to help him more...(maybe his doctor will suggest it).
Happy Holidays Everyone......
He had a great week, even as many as three days in a row with no alcohol. We have had many calm discussions about alcohol. He wants to get healthy starting the first of the year....and I had to mention that getting healthy meant doing without the beer.....and he agrees. I also asked if he would get a check up from doctor for liver/prostate/cholesterol and such.....he said, yes he wants to do that.
He has been making a few comments like: "do you realize how much I was drinking? Like two cases on weekends and about a six pack a night?" Yes dear......I KNOW! lol It was just so funny to hear him say it. His other comment was at dinner tonight, we had one margarita each, and my daughter said something about he should drive home, because that is going to make mom stupid......and he jumped in and said "no, i've been drinking alot less, and smaller amounts effect me more now"...... that's admitting he has a problem right?
I hate to get my hopes up, but we have had such a peaceful week, and I am really feeling good about the changes that he wants to make. I think it has something to do with his dad being in hospital, for heart surgery last week (and is home doing just great).....but I think it had an impact on AH. I hope he sticks with it.....and maybe eventually he will decide to join a group to help him more...(maybe his doctor will suggest it).
Happy Holidays Everyone......
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Im sooo happy you had a peaceful week and your feeling so good.
I dont have any experience with my Alcoholics deciding to get soberity so unfortunally I have nothing to share with that... one thing I am famous for thought is projecting. When things are going well like that I tend to project it instead of enjoying the moment. I work on the problem of my expectations all the time cuz they get me in trouble.
Just keep the focus on you sweetie, actions speak louder then words.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: The South
Posts: 75
Hello HQ,
Your post is something that I can completely relate to. My AH has just recently REALLY realized that his drinking is a serious problem. We've actually started detox, well, he has, but I'm here by his side so we both are really going through it. His attitude has changed for the better and he at least WANTS to beat his addiction.
Like you, I don't want to get too hopeful, but at the same time it's hard not to when they are showing so much progress.
I hope the new year starts out positively for you.
Your post is something that I can completely relate to. My AH has just recently REALLY realized that his drinking is a serious problem. We've actually started detox, well, he has, but I'm here by his side so we both are really going through it. His attitude has changed for the better and he at least WANTS to beat his addiction.
Like you, I don't want to get too hopeful, but at the same time it's hard not to when they are showing so much progress.
I hope the new year starts out positively for you.
Royalty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
I guess I am still in shock, because everything I've read is that they have to hit bottom before wanting/getting help.....I was expecting bottom to be something more awful.
Yes, still not getting hopes up too high, and really enjoying all of the tension being gone. I think that is the peacefulness that I'm feeling.
It's just so strange/different/happy/scarey all at the same time. It gives me chills just trying to describe it! I keep thinking, HE"S BACK.....and at the same time I want to scream that I"M BACK! I don't have to be mad every single day, I can finally be me. I can look at AH without being disgusted and hateful. I can remember why I married him. I can laugh at his jokes instead of being offended at every slurring word. He has been so sweet, probably thanked me for his xmas gifts 20 times. He has been taking time to spend with son. He has been considerate and helpful. <------see I'm scared! lol
I think it's so much so fast....but I'm going to try to just go with it, instead of dragging out all of the old baggage. I feel like the better I am, that it will have better results. So I will continue to work on me, and let him do what he has to do. I have always wanted to learn sign-language, and I am going to sign up for classes after posting here. I told AH this, and he was all for it, and he even seemed interested in learning it also. My cousin was born deaf, and 35 years later, it seems horrible to me that no one in our family has ever taken the time to learn how to communicate with her. She reads lips very well, but it would be nice to be able to really have a conversation with her. I also want my children to learn to sign, and think this will be very helpful for them in life, more so than the french and spanish that they take at school.
An interesting thing that AH said a few days ago, was that he "just has to stop his habits/routines"....like always stopping after work to buy beer. I think that's a great place to start.
Not much more to add......unless everyone wants to hear about s e x ! All I can say is ..... w o w ! Apparently it IS just like riding a bike, even after many months without riding one. One never forgets how :P
Yes, still not getting hopes up too high, and really enjoying all of the tension being gone. I think that is the peacefulness that I'm feeling.
It's just so strange/different/happy/scarey all at the same time. It gives me chills just trying to describe it! I keep thinking, HE"S BACK.....and at the same time I want to scream that I"M BACK! I don't have to be mad every single day, I can finally be me. I can look at AH without being disgusted and hateful. I can remember why I married him. I can laugh at his jokes instead of being offended at every slurring word. He has been so sweet, probably thanked me for his xmas gifts 20 times. He has been taking time to spend with son. He has been considerate and helpful. <------see I'm scared! lol
I think it's so much so fast....but I'm going to try to just go with it, instead of dragging out all of the old baggage. I feel like the better I am, that it will have better results. So I will continue to work on me, and let him do what he has to do. I have always wanted to learn sign-language, and I am going to sign up for classes after posting here. I told AH this, and he was all for it, and he even seemed interested in learning it also. My cousin was born deaf, and 35 years later, it seems horrible to me that no one in our family has ever taken the time to learn how to communicate with her. She reads lips very well, but it would be nice to be able to really have a conversation with her. I also want my children to learn to sign, and think this will be very helpful for them in life, more so than the french and spanish that they take at school.
An interesting thing that AH said a few days ago, was that he "just has to stop his habits/routines"....like always stopping after work to buy beer. I think that's a great place to start.
Not much more to add......unless everyone wants to hear about s e x ! All I can say is ..... w o w ! Apparently it IS just like riding a bike, even after many months without riding one. One never forgets how :P
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