searching

It's so frustraiting, I was almost to 4 weeks without drinking and I woke up monday and ruined it, drank almost all week, what a great christmas gift for my wife and little boy. Im back at day one again and am hoping I can make it thru christmas and new years, Im starting a new job right after christmas so Im hoping this new year is better for me than the last one.. Im going one second, min, hour and day at a time, I just keep thinking 1 step forward 2 steps back, or is it the other way around, oh well who knows, wish me luck and pray for me, I dont think my wife can take much more....

nogard

Hi Searching, welcome back its great to see you. Don't worry or be angry at yourself, this disease attacks us all the time. Just do as your doing one day at a time and keep it that simple.

Thinking of you.

Kevin

mike_mass

Are you attending meetings?

leviathon

Welcome back to SR. I have been where you are at... for me it was three months then a nasty slip... then several weeks and a slip then six months and a nasty slip... now no slips of late.

I try to be gentle with myself and I try to learn from the slips. Identify what brought it on, was I planning it out ahead of time... looking for an excuse, etc.

Peace, Levi

searching

well mike I get a lot of flack for this but no. Im from a very very small town and the few meetings I went to were a joke, mostly made up of prisoners that were just there from a work release program or because they were court ordered to go. They only have like 3 meetings a week anyway. I guess I could go out of town to try and find one, Im not totally giving up the idea of meetings. After the first of the year I do have an appointment with a therapist that Ive seen before and like. He has groups in the evenings and Im going to be trying to attending those, keeping my fingers crossed... oh and thanks for the fast replys guys...

I'mready99

Searching...

Hey, you slipped and fell. Pick yourself up and move on...

If you can't quit drinking for yourself, do it for your family. Because nine times out of ten, if you don't quit, you may not have your family...

If you have to do it one minute at a time, then so be it...

Make a promise to yourself that your going to start out the new year being sober and responsible to your wife and son...

Best of luck to you...

One day at a time.

Steve

Jersey Nonny

And now, a few comments from the distaff (female) side...I was told to "identify, not compare" with the other alcoholics at meetings. If I looked for the differences, it wouldn't be long before I was thinking, "I'm not that bad...maybe I'm not an alcoholic after all."

The one thing you and the prisoners had in common was alcoholism. And, I've known quite a few who were "court ordered"; but, the seed was planted, and they returned to AA meetings to remain sober.

If you weren't so turned off by the ones who weren't there by choice, you might have heard something that you could have used for your own recovery. And, three meetings a week would be better than no meetings a week. If you don't want to travel out of town for meetings, maybe you could give these another shot...with some emphasis on HOW it works...Honesty-Openmindedness-Willingness.

Sorry you relapsed, but it has been my experience (with my own and others) that we are usually mentally drunk long before we actually pick up the drink...that is to say, we set ourselves up to drink. You might be aware of this to guard against it happening again. Good Luck...here's hoping you'll be able to stop "Searching".

searching

Im sorry but I dont think you understood, the prisoners are not there because they were alcoholics they were there because it got them out of there cell for an hour (thats what they call work release). Did I touch a nerve or something?

CarolD

Keep trying...you have so much to live sober for!

Blessings

BTW if you continue to drink
you too can do prison time.

mike_mass

Sorry to hear there's a dearth of AA out your way. I would still make an effort to go to those meetings or drive the miles it takes to get to one that you like better. Good luck.

Jersey Nonny

Naaaa...after 32 years of drinking and 27 years of sobriety (in AA), I'm pretty thick-skinned.

I guess I did misunderstand...I know in my area we take meetings into the prisons/jails, and I thought the prisoners were attending meetings on the outside as an alternative.

No matter...I firmly stand by the rest of my post. And, I agree with Carol..."There but for the grace of God..."

searching

Well enough about meetings and the like for now, just trying to make it to christmas and all the family stuff.. Day 2 today, Im so tired, didnt sleep well last night, now the emotions Im sure alot of you have had after a slip are kicking in, sometimes I think those are worse than the physical problems. oh well, thanks all for your post, it helps. Hope you are all having a good day.

Jersey Nonny

Give yourself the best Christmas Gift you'll ever have...and, in doing so, your family will reap the benefits, too! Sobriety truly is the one gift that keeps on giving, and giving, and giving....

BigSis

(((Searching))) Christmas is still a day away... sending prayers you are sober now - that's all that matters for the moment.

This place is open all night - stop by if you can't sleep.

gypsytears

Christmas is almost here. Hang in there searching .

searching

Day 3... Christmas Eve morning and things are going really good so far, pancake breakfast with the family, have football to watch today, church this afternoon then some pizza and presents tonight. Cant wait to see my sons (1.5 yrs) face tomorrow morning when he sees all his presents... Hope everyone has a great Christmas Eve!

Jersey Nonny

Sounds like your SEARCHING is paying off!

I'll be thinking of you as my son and I have our pizza tonight...another thing you and I have in common!

Quote:

Cant wait to see my sons (1.5 yrs) face tomorrow morning when he sees all his presents... Hope everyone has a great Christmas Eve!

That will certainly be worth seeing...alcohol and hang-over free...little ones make everything so much more meaningful.

curlylocks

hang in there searching. i have a 17mth old along with a 3 1/2 yr. old and this will be my first not hungover xmas as well. I will be thinking of you.
merry christmas. god bless

2stop

A saying I LIVE by..........

I may have fallen a thousand times...........but I have picked myself up a thousand and one.
You can do it...you can make it...................one step, one day.........one miracle at a time.....each day we addicts/alkie's are alive is a miracle...............keep on picking yourself up.you're worth it!

******{Warmest Most Hopeful Hugs ever!}}}}

neillneill

Dear searching,

You are doing doing what I teach my addicted clients to do.
When you focus on the picture of what you want in your life, rather than looking back at the messes you've made, you are doing exactly what's needed. Focusing on making Christmas morning a joyous time is what you need. when that is past, focus on making the rest of the day great, then tomorrow, then next month, then the coming year. With practice you will extend your horizon further and further into the future. And your past will lose it's hold on you.

Planning for the future is present-time activity. Create a bright vision for your future, and look back only long enough to fix something.

It works. I've been there. They presented me with my 30-year cake on Friday.

Blessings,
Neill