jacksdaughter

Hi .. I am new to this forum but was told by the newcomer forum that this would be a good start. My dad has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. My brother died when he was 26 which was 20 years ago and it has been down hill ever since. Just recently he pretty much drank enough that the typical human being would be dead, caused himself to have a seizure/stroke. After two days in the hospital he is still not seeking treament went home claiming he is taking meds and will see how that goes. My Mom pretty much lies for him all the time. I'm sorry I can't do it anymore. I know it's Christmas etc etc. but I can't see myself meeting with them to "celebrate the season" . I am a grown women with wonderful children, a fantastic husband and a grandchild I am so so in love with. I am now making the stand that if he doesn't get help be it rehab, AA whatever I do not see the family being repaired any longer, what little is left anyway. All respect and love I have felt seems dead at the moment. I just can't get my mind around what I witnessed Sunday and don't think I will anytme soon.
Thank you for listeing, thank you for any help, support you can offer. As I said initially I found quitnet to be the best when I was qutting smoking and was so happy to find this site.

elizabeth1979

Hi Jacksdaughter and welcome, glad you found us!
One of my parents drinking has affected me, and more than a handful of other family members as well.

You have the permission and freedom to be around whom you want and not to be around those you don't. You have the right to do whats best for you.

For me, the holidays are hard as I (like many ACOA's) dont have any good holiday memories. So, I dont feel festive, like celebrating, or even being around my family.

I have felt that way too. The only person I try to repair now is myself. I know that repairing others isnt my job anymore. I can just take care of me and thats ok.

Theres alot of wise people that hang out in this room..and the stickies at the top are good too

jacksdaughter

Thank you.. I do finally realize that the only person I can repair is myself. So I will hang around here, probably alot so I can begin to do this.

Cynay

Welcome to SR.... I so understand how hard it is to watch someone kill themselves.

There are some Great books in the sticky area and also there are some meetings that could help you in the suport department.... One that helped me alot was "Under the Influence". It took me a long time to come to the place that I knew it as a disease.

I look forward to getting to know you, stick aroun and read all you can.

jacksdaughter

thank you. I just composed a letter that tells my parents how I feel etc etc. I knew if I tried to do it in person it would never fly and come out right. It felt so good and actually a little liberating. As long as they are actively playing the same dance I know I can no longer dance along. I will keep coming back here I have read so many things already that sounds like "hey that's me". So I am very happy to have found you!

Gemini31

Welcome! You will find a lot of support here and many who deal with the same problems. I think writing a letter is a good idea. It's a great way to get all of your feelings out without someone interrupting you in the middle of it.

You sound very strong, and good for you for setting boundaries!