First day sober "for real" and real scared
Just Me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 6
First day sober "for real" and real scared
Hi - I'm new here. Today is my first day at another shot at being sober. I'm 42 and have been smoking pot since I was about 13. I have been trying for the past two years to get sober. I have been sober this year for about all but 2 weeks of it. But I got high yesterday, and now I am ambivalent about whether I want to get sober AND whether I can create long term sobriety. I'm kind of a loner type, so I dont really like meetings, but any words of wisdom via this website? I need to get clean and stay clean. But my anger gets in my way. Thanks!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
Welcome to SoberRecovery. I didnt used to care for meetings either. Evenually that changed. Thanks to Narcotics Anonymous, the grace of God, and a lotta hard work on my part I have been clean nearly 19 months. If meetings arent for you there are also alternative recovery programs. What ever you choose, I wouldnt recommend trying to do it alone.
Raised from the Dead
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
lonely lonely lonely. doing it alone...you dont connect with people going through the exact same thing as you. there are alot of reasons to not do it alone. for one, AA/NA are 12-step programs that are worked with a sponser and its through this work that you indentify your defects that kept you out there (steps 4/5), ask God to remove them (6,7), amend your past behavior (8,9), and maintain your spirtual condition (10,11,12) which triggers a psychic change in which you become a better person.
second fellowship is a great opportunity to hang with people in similar situations to create relationships, bond, indentify with, have fun, laugh etc.
finally meetings give you a chance to hear people's experience, strength, and hope. its inspiring to hear how people have gotten great lives due to AA.
what do you have to lose besides your sobriety date?
second fellowship is a great opportunity to hang with people in similar situations to create relationships, bond, indentify with, have fun, laugh etc.
finally meetings give you a chance to hear people's experience, strength, and hope. its inspiring to hear how people have gotten great lives due to AA.
what do you have to lose besides your sobriety date?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somwhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,175
I found that when I quit doing dope a long time ago I had to disassociate with all my former "friends" which left me even more alone than I normal am. that, fortunatley, was offset by me being in university and the gym. Perhaps you can look for other activities to get you out of your head.
Peace, Levi
Peace, Levi
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
By not doing it alone, I am talking about a suppport group. Like NA. I have made a whole new circle of friends in NA. They are always there for me, and I'm always there for them. And I also have a good bit of support right here at SR. 
Nivosa
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Arvada, CO
Posts: 17
Welcome
Mita,
When I was in rehab (one of the few times), I read somewhere that addiction is the only disease who's sole purpose is to convince us that we don't have it.......by trying to do it alone we tend to "dwell" which is a dangerous thing! Being around others and listening to their stories we reaffirm why we quit, and we relate to others in the same situation realizing we are not alone. Being lonely is another huge aspect of not doing it alone. Once we quit we either rid ourselves of those people who use, or feel alienated (or different) around everyone. This can make us feel lonely to no end! Loneliness is a huge trigger for use and relapse. Take care and know that your not alone, we all go through the same basic cycle, it's best if we don't do it alone and stick together in recovery. I recommend reading "staying sober" it's a guide to relapse prevention and very well written. If you choose to try to do it alone (which I really hope you don't) try reading "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey, and "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. Good luck to you Mita, and keep posting.
Rick
When I was in rehab (one of the few times), I read somewhere that addiction is the only disease who's sole purpose is to convince us that we don't have it.......by trying to do it alone we tend to "dwell" which is a dangerous thing! Being around others and listening to their stories we reaffirm why we quit, and we relate to others in the same situation realizing we are not alone. Being lonely is another huge aspect of not doing it alone. Once we quit we either rid ourselves of those people who use, or feel alienated (or different) around everyone. This can make us feel lonely to no end! Loneliness is a huge trigger for use and relapse. Take care and know that your not alone, we all go through the same basic cycle, it's best if we don't do it alone and stick together in recovery. I recommend reading "staying sober" it's a guide to relapse prevention and very well written. If you choose to try to do it alone (which I really hope you don't) try reading "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey, and "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. Good luck to you Mita, and keep posting.
Rick
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,024
Welcome, Mito. I'm also 42, and for most of my life I've considered myself a loner. After I married and we had children I became a home drinker, and for years enjoyed my disease in the isolation of my home.
Going to meetings and working a program will help you get and stay sober. If there's one thing it taught me, it's that I'm anything but a loner. I gave away the life and family that I had, but my life is rich with the friends I've made in sobriety. Working a program has also given me the tools I need to work on my anger and resentments, and without that it's almost impossible to stay sober. Anger will lead me to the bottle every time. I'm almost 2 years sober, so obviously something's working.
Hope to hear more from you.
Scott
Going to meetings and working a program will help you get and stay sober. If there's one thing it taught me, it's that I'm anything but a loner. I gave away the life and family that I had, but my life is rich with the friends I've made in sobriety. Working a program has also given me the tools I need to work on my anger and resentments, and without that it's almost impossible to stay sober. Anger will lead me to the bottle every time. I'm almost 2 years sober, so obviously something's working.
Hope to hear more from you.
Scott
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Bella Vista, Ar
Posts: 50
My problem is I am alone. I have never been a loner, and don't like living alone. However, it is one of the things I have to do. I have a great support group through my local AA, and now a wonderful board to post on.
I was finally whipped I had to have help. Trying to control my life on my own wasn't going so well. At 39, I having to start all over in life but that is okay.
Dr. Silkworth says that people like me can survive if we follow but a few simple rules to re-create our lives. That is what I have to do re-create my life. If that means living alone then so be it. My campanionship used to revolve around happy hour. Now it revolves around a coffee pot.
Last night was a tough one, at only 4 days sober I was hurting pretty bad, after my second meeting of the day I talked to some AA's I had just met and they helped me tremendously. I was sure bound to the bar instead I went to a third meeting, went home and to bed.
Mita, it is tough going alone, like the other's I hope you choose to reach out, escpially if anger gets in the way, that was my problem yesterday. I had alot of anger, and had to FACE it, dammitt.
Take care keep posting and don't use!
I was finally whipped I had to have help. Trying to control my life on my own wasn't going so well. At 39, I having to start all over in life but that is okay.
Dr. Silkworth says that people like me can survive if we follow but a few simple rules to re-create our lives. That is what I have to do re-create my life. If that means living alone then so be it. My campanionship used to revolve around happy hour. Now it revolves around a coffee pot.
Last night was a tough one, at only 4 days sober I was hurting pretty bad, after my second meeting of the day I talked to some AA's I had just met and they helped me tremendously. I was sure bound to the bar instead I went to a third meeting, went home and to bed.
Mita, it is tough going alone, like the other's I hope you choose to reach out, escpially if anger gets in the way, that was my problem yesterday. I had alot of anger, and had to FACE it, dammitt.
Take care keep posting and don't use!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Rutland Vermont
Posts: 27
Doing it alone
Mito, What problems are caused by "Doing it alone"- Doing it alone gives us as recovering addicts time to think-Too much time, we start thinking about old friends, what are they doing? where are they going? Should I go too. And then we start with sinking thinking, "just one won't hurt" I can quit tomorrow,I made it through yesterday I can start again tomorrow but for most of us tomorrow never comes, for what? A week, A month? Another year? When we attend meetings,and/or go to groups, our eyes are opened to a whole new world a world of not having to hide,not having to pretend, and not having to lie. Being and staying sober isn't easy i wish it were. I don't mean to sound like I'm preaching , but the only way I can make it is by prayer, fellowship,my new friends, and this site. Reading the postings here really does help because in every posting I read a bit of my self. Thank you to everyone of you here who shares so much a private part of your lives.
Garden variety drunk
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Laramie, Wy
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Mitochondria 
Hi - I'm new here. Today is my first day at another shot at being sober. I'm 42 and have been smoking pot since I was about 13. I have been trying for the past two years to get sober. I have been sober this year for about all but 2 weeks of it. But I got high yesterday, and now I am ambivalent about whether I want to get sober AND whether I can create long term sobriety.
I'm kind of a loner type, so I dont really like meetings
As soon as I stopped worrying about what I wanted and how I wanted things to be, my problem was at least half-solved.
I need to get clean and stay clean.
but my anger gets in my way.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: London.On
Posts: 16
12-Step Visit From St. Nicholas
T'was the night before Christmas When I went on a bender,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a bartender.
The empties were stacked by the chimney just fine,
In hopes that St. Nick would fill them with wine.
With Mama in her kerchief and I with my booze,
We'd just settled down for a long winter's snooze.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I put down my drink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I crawled and then stumbled
To open the shutters where I stood and just mumbled.
Then what to my bloodshot eyes should there appear
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
I thought it was DT's and needed help quick!
I didn't know it was only St. Nick.
I poured myself another as the reindeer came
While he shouted and called them by name:
"Now Barfly! Now Wino! Now Boozer and Rummy!
On Drunkard! On Alky! On Dipso and Dummy!"
So up to the housetop St. Nicholas flew
While I pulled the pop-top on another brew.
I trembled with fear when I heard a new sound--
Down the chimney came St. Nick with a bound.
His cheeks were like roses, he grinned like a possum,
His eyes, how they twinkled, his nose had rum-blossoms!
I offered him a drink, step up to the bar,
"Not today," he said, "I am now so-ber."
He had a clear face and a little beer belly,
That shook when he laughed like a bowl
full of jelly.
This was too much, it increased my thirst.
"Hold it!" said St. Nick, "First things first.
You don't have to drink, easy does it,
Now that wasn't too hard, was it?"
He reached in his sack and with a great fuss
He gave me the book "Alcoholics Anonymous."
"Read this 'Big Book' for a life sublime,
Follow the principles one day at a time.
"This is the best present I can give,
Twelve steps -- a new way to live.
The AA program keeps me sober, it's true."
Then giving a nod, up the chimney he flew.
Then I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"You now have a choice, starting tonight.
So Merry Christmas to all and to all Season's Greetings,
Don't pick up that first drink, and go to AA meetings!"
Click Santa's Sleigh and Go To A Meeting!
Top of Page
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright © 2001 - Transitions Daily - All rights reserved.
Transitions Daily is not Alcoholics Anonymous and is not intended to be a substitute for real live regular AA meetings.
Terms of Use and Disclaimer
has notified the sender that this message has been received.
T'was the night before Christmas When I went on a bender,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a bartender.
The empties were stacked by the chimney just fine,
In hopes that St. Nick would fill them with wine.
With Mama in her kerchief and I with my booze,
We'd just settled down for a long winter's snooze.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I put down my drink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I crawled and then stumbled
To open the shutters where I stood and just mumbled.
Then what to my bloodshot eyes should there appear
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
I thought it was DT's and needed help quick!
I didn't know it was only St. Nick.
I poured myself another as the reindeer came
While he shouted and called them by name:
"Now Barfly! Now Wino! Now Boozer and Rummy!
On Drunkard! On Alky! On Dipso and Dummy!"
So up to the housetop St. Nicholas flew
While I pulled the pop-top on another brew.
I trembled with fear when I heard a new sound--
Down the chimney came St. Nick with a bound.
His cheeks were like roses, he grinned like a possum,
His eyes, how they twinkled, his nose had rum-blossoms!
I offered him a drink, step up to the bar,
"Not today," he said, "I am now so-ber."
He had a clear face and a little beer belly,
That shook when he laughed like a bowl
full of jelly.
This was too much, it increased my thirst.
"Hold it!" said St. Nick, "First things first.
You don't have to drink, easy does it,
Now that wasn't too hard, was it?"
He reached in his sack and with a great fuss
He gave me the book "Alcoholics Anonymous."
"Read this 'Big Book' for a life sublime,
Follow the principles one day at a time.
"This is the best present I can give,
Twelve steps -- a new way to live.
The AA program keeps me sober, it's true."
Then giving a nod, up the chimney he flew.
Then I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"You now have a choice, starting tonight.
So Merry Christmas to all and to all Season's Greetings,
Don't pick up that first drink, and go to AA meetings!"
Click Santa's Sleigh and Go To A Meeting!
Top of Page
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright © 2001 - Transitions Daily - All rights reserved.
Transitions Daily is not Alcoholics Anonymous and is not intended to be a substitute for real live regular AA meetings.
Terms of Use and Disclaimer
has notified the sender that this message has been received.
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