I too see more of my x's behavior different
Im not crazy and neither am I
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts
Posts: 2,088
I too see more of my x's behavior different
I am in recovery for the 4th time in 38 years. I know it is natural/normal to see things differently in recovery. I am experienceing (sp) this. Somehow I knew when I met my x that I had alot of work to do before I could I could put into a relationship what it needs to survive - I was also entering a rehab outpatient program and had nowhere else to go so in I moved. It started when I first met her - she needed emotional support, which I was happy to give as I would to any human who really needs it. She told me that she was suffering from PTSD and was sometimes emotionally a black hole due to a horrific incedent when she was a child. Or was it she didnt want to face life sober either ?? Who knows..... Some say it was our combined sicknesses (she has a major history w meth) that were a fatal attraction.
I am now seeing that she (8 years and most recent) AND my earlier partner (6 years) were enableing me. I now see that I was unable to give enough for the relationships to work out well. I am also seeing that the past few months we were together and that since or due to her departure and past she can be emotionally void - conciously ? I also see that she uses meds, food and turning off all emotions to deal w uncomfortable emotions. We have used together (everything short of heroin) and gone for drinks the week and days before she walked out because of MY addiction. I went to detox for thanksgiving. I still havent been able to get the paperwork (that she has) or to get myself to go up to pick up a new suit I bought when were out.
I guess Im still expecting inside to get emotional support from her and she has stated clearly and repeatedly unable to do that now and or for a long while.
A little passage from the Tao of Pooh:
If one has no expectations then they will not be disappointed.
If I could only get this one through my thick squash !!!!
I am now seeing that she (8 years and most recent) AND my earlier partner (6 years) were enableing me. I now see that I was unable to give enough for the relationships to work out well. I am also seeing that the past few months we were together and that since or due to her departure and past she can be emotionally void - conciously ? I also see that she uses meds, food and turning off all emotions to deal w uncomfortable emotions. We have used together (everything short of heroin) and gone for drinks the week and days before she walked out because of MY addiction. I went to detox for thanksgiving. I still havent been able to get the paperwork (that she has) or to get myself to go up to pick up a new suit I bought when were out.
I guess Im still expecting inside to get emotional support from her and she has stated clearly and repeatedly unable to do that now and or for a long while.
A little passage from the Tao of Pooh:
If one has no expectations then they will not be disappointed.
If I could only get this one through my thick squash !!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Hi,
Welcome to our little corner of SR! Have you ever attended Alanon or Naranon meetings? It might be helpful for you to try and see things from another angle of recovery. I have known of so many people who come from AA and NA that eventually find a home in the anon programs.
It's good that you have come here as you will be able to get some perspective from others here as they come along to share their ESH.
You already have a good understanding about those expectations and that's a good start. I hope to see you come by again soon.
cmc
Welcome to our little corner of SR! Have you ever attended Alanon or Naranon meetings? It might be helpful for you to try and see things from another angle of recovery. I have known of so many people who come from AA and NA that eventually find a home in the anon programs.
It's good that you have come here as you will be able to get some perspective from others here as they come along to share their ESH.
You already have a good understanding about those expectations and that's a good start. I hope to see you come by again soon.
cmc
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