Tim_OB

Am on day 5 now 5!!! ME!!! didnt think i was going 2 get past day 2, I think 2nte is going to b the big test 4 me. I'v been invited round to a friends house and they always seem to have some sort of drink there, they know i'm not drinking and i'm sure they will b supportive but it's if i can say NO 2 myself.
any ideas guys

Tim x

Mongo

Hi Tim

Can't do this? You are doing it, day 5 is a great accomplishment!

In early sobriety, one has to be constantly vigilant. That, oh well, I'll just have one or two got me EVERY time. In over thirty years of drinking, one thing I have never ever done is the "just one or two". Drink to oblivion despite good intentions, yes, many many times.

As to going to your friend's house early in sobriety, I must ask the question why? It's tough enough to not drink even under ideal conditions, why make it even harder. Perhaps you could invite your friends to an activity where alcohol is not involved, or perhaps skip this event this time.

I hope you find what you're looking for here Tim. I wish you well, and again, congrats on 5 days.

Ron

Anna

So Tim, don't go. Sometimes we need to make hard choices, especially early in recovery. Do what you need to do.

ayla zaire

anna's right, i think...if you think you can't say no, then you shouldn't put yourself in that situation yet...i hope you figure out what's right for you...and congratulations on 5 days...that really is an amazing accomplishment...

logo

Tim: If you do decide to go your friends house and you are offered a drink just reply no thank you I have already had enough. Remember it is that first drink that will get you. Just don't drink no matter what. Here is a story for you. Where I worked there was a Snap On tool guy that came to my work to sell tools. He would have a cooler of beer in his truck and asked me every week if I would drink a beer with him. I of course said no. This went on for quite some time. Then one week he asked me to have a beer with him (I was really tired of hearing it) and I said OK but you do not have enough for me. I told him to go and get four cases of beer and while your at it stop and get me a big bag of Cocaine. Then I said after we finish all of the beer and coke then I am probably going to try and sleep with your wife. He replied after all that I would probably let you. Need less to say he never asked me to drink with him again. True story. Day 5 is a major accomplishment for you. Keep up the good work.

I'mready99

Good morning Tim...

I agree with whats been said...

I myself would not go, I would just make a polite excuse to bow out, but...

If you do go, just tell your friends your only gonna drink water or a cola tonight. You don't have to go into detail with them...

What ever you decide, please pass on the alcohol...

Congrats on day five...

One day at a time.

Steve

Midas

Congrats on your sober time so far! It may be in your best interest to decline. I would.

Time2Surrender

People, places, and things. Sometimes we have to make some changes in our lives. How bad do you want sobriety? I have a feeling alcohol has made your life unmanagable or you wouldnt be here. Congrats on day 5. Have you tried AA? Reading through your posts I see your drinking on meds? Not good man. Lost your lady too? Forget about your friends and take care of yourself. Get to a meeting.

chicago

people, places, and things is HUGE. the hardest thing for me to do was change those 3 things. i went to a school that was junior kindergarten through senior year of HS so most of my friends were life long. when i entered the program, i had to stop seeing those people. i also had to change my phone number and residence. i was so beaten down though, that i was willing to start new and i was finally ready to take ANY suggestion.

REZ

Have you been going to AA/NA meetings? They saved my life.

Time2Surrender

Mine too. Not only did NA save my life, it gave me a life. And new friends. Real friends.

Jersey Nonny

Sorry I didn't get a chance to respond to this yesterday; but, I would have agreed with everything already said here.

What I did in early sobriety (and pretty much the rest of my life until now) was to make lots and lots of AA meetings and functions. This really didn't give me time to get together with the "old friends" at the "old places"...so, there was no drinking for me.

I quit just before Thanksgiving...so, I knew Christmas and New Year's would be a challenge. I had a non-alcoholic tree-trimming party at my apartment, and invited AA people plus a couple of friends who knew I was in recovery. We had a blast, and it became an annual tradition for me and the many AA friends I made over the years.

If you are the host, you have control over the refreshments. Since I quit drinking, I have never had any alcohol in my home...and, it has never been a problem with those I've invited there.

If you went to your friend's house last night, I hope you managed to not drink, and that you woke up this a.m. knowing you can look forward to a sober Day Six.

earlybird

Sounds as if you arent ready to do "whatever it takes" to get,...and remain, sober if you are keeping your partying friends in your life. You MUST make the difficult choices to recover. Those include 86'ing all alcohol abusing people from your life. Im sorry,....but THATS what you must do if you want any type of success in recovery. If you keep these people in your life,....you will relapse for sure. Maybe not immediately,...but one day soon.