SarahOfTheShot

I am in the WORST mood. I can't even describe it. Extremely irritable, depressed to the point where all I've been thinking about all day is going home and going to bed. Surely, this must pass too.

I think it's for 2 reasons. The primary one being that the weekend is coming and we all know what THAT means. I have a ton of plans, tons....but that's never stopped me before. My committment and resolve to stick to sobriety are firm. But I am still dreading it. The cravings already...in my throat and my stomach is all turned up and down and I feel anxious as all get out. And cranky cranky cranky. ARGH!

The other reason is that my house is destroyed because of some remodeling Mr. Man is doing in the basement. Problem is, he works full time/goes to school part time so he's not home much except to make messes, throw me the occasional bone of support and love (feeling bitter today, can't you tell?) and sleep. I'm proud of him for going back to school, he is very motivated and I love that about him. BUT....you can imagine that with how busy he is and with what I am going through, I am feeling a little more needy than usual I suppose. I don't think I can rely on him as a real support in this and I don't know if it's fair too?

I am reading some interesting books, some are helpful...some are not. One thing I keep thinking to myself is that the more I read about it all, the more I feel disgusted and strangely turned off....but in a way, I feel this odd tingle in my head that definately craves whatever it is that I am reading about. Even though I KNOW it's not where I want to go. If that isn't proof that I am addict, I don't know what else would be.

ARGH I say, ARGH!

PS: I am home now and scarfing ice cream and potato chips, it's helping a little.

I'mready99

Evening Sarah...

We all have our Blah days. I kind of dread the weekends also because that was my two days to let my hair and drink Corona to my hearts content...

This is my third sober weekend coming up and I must say I don't feel the uneasiness that I have the last two...

Just stay away from the triggers that make you want to drink...

So, hang tough, just think about how better you feel and hit tomorrow head on with stong and positive thoughts of staying sober...

Have a GREAT sober weekend. Every day that you go through sober, you will feel much better...

One day at a time.

Steve



PS...Chips and Ice creme will never get ya a DWI!!!

Mongo

Hi Sarah. Great progress!

Sounds like you've got some plans for the weekend, right on.

I used to dread weekends but now they ain't so scary,I look forward to them now. It does get much better.

Keep well

Ron

Anna

There are some tough times at the beginning Sarah, no question about that. But, it will get better. You have the right idea by making plans and keeping yourself occupied.

BLackshirt

Hi Sarah:

I had one of those days earlier this week and with the help of some great folks here I was able to come through it. I tend to get to involved in the poor me syndrome and that tends to amplify any other problems that I might have (real or perceived). I will pray for you, know that you are not alone in all of this.

Scott

hope3

You are doing great sarah of the shot. I fell into a little girls laughing bout with a friend the other day, and I have to tell you it was the best stress reliever i've had in a long time. I know you have a lot of plans, so thats good, try to have an all out laugh about anything. May the force be with you, the best, hope3.

MALFUNCTION

here Sarah, something to read and give thought.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be careful.

Strive to be happy.

(found in Old Saint Paul's Church, Baltimore. Dated 1692

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Hang in there Sarah. This to shall pass. Life never seems to be the way I want it to be. Life is just the way it should be. Just talking about the way you feel takes a lot of the power away from it. Just remember don't drink no matter what. Love and Respect.