Its all starting again...

Old 12-04-2006, 10:50 PM
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I believe what you are witnessing is not a slip but a full-blown relapse. I've lived through this more than once and it takes on this same pattern. She's lying to cover her addiction. That won't last very long because everyone will figure out she's not ready to maintain sobriety. I am so sorry you are anguished about this and I understand it because I've gone through it too.

I wish I could give you some remedy or magic words that would help you to make your sister realize she is trashing her life right now. But I can't. One thing I can assure you of, however: if you and your family get upset, worried, go into rescue-mode, or fly off the handle at her, she won't give a flying fig. She has her bottle and that is number one in her life. Her family is coming in a distant second. This is what it is all about with an active alcoholic.

She's dying for a drink and drinking herself to death. Literally. The only way to get some help for your hand-wringing and worrying is to keep posting here for support and get into Al-anon. Folks there have walked in your shoes and they will offer you understanding and support.

Love your sister. Just realize you can do nothing to make her stop drinking.
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Old 12-05-2006, 11:53 AM
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snowy, I cannot add to what prodigal said, except I think about you and your sister.
Have you found any meetings to go to? They will add to your knowledge about this disease.
Usually the alcohol causes the depression and wanting out, but in some cases there is a clinical depression seperate from the alcohol.
Keep coming back.
LV and ((HUGS))
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Old 12-05-2006, 12:38 PM
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We all suggest to try 6 meetings, try different times and locations if possible, takes a few to feel the help. They are all a bit different, due to different people. Best to try to pick someone for your sponsor , that might take a few meetings.
About last night, I feel she might be trying to feel you out to see if she said something bad or wrong that might have made you angry, or upset.
Some have blackouts. They arn't sure if they called or not, can't remember what they said, so they put out a nice feeler, to see what they can find out. Some never suspect a blackout, what they did or said is just gone forever.
We never know if or when they are in a blackout.
Keep reading, and keep coming back.
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Old 12-05-2006, 06:21 PM
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Well, I do think that alcoholics get suicidal when they fail. I believe they truely pray for sobriety. I think most feel so good learning real tools to quit, things they can apply to their lives. When they relapse, I think they feel so incredibly disappointed and discouraged. I am thankful your sister had a period of sobriety and even if she relapsed yesterday, let's at least consider that she faced this day as a new day. Starting all over again is OK. Instead of drinking and feeling so bad about it she just kept drinking, she didn't. She is presently sober. We will take the blessings a teaspoon at a time.
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Old 12-05-2006, 09:22 PM
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I think if I said anything about it, I'd tell her to her face. I might tell her just what we've said here. The slipping was easy. The sobriety today, is testimony that she san slip, fall and instead of laying there, she got right back up. I will pray for both of you.
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Old 12-05-2006, 09:52 PM
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What mallowcup said, or leave it alone for now, maybe she is back to trying.
Hope you found a good meeting.

The AA Big Book is on line, you might go there and check out the stories of recoverying A's.
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/
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