Cecilia

Anybody else just feel plain mean. Is it possile to be a mean undrunk? My tolerance level is zip zero nada.

I feel like my nice is broken.
Nothing used to bother me. In fact lots of people would say I am way TOO calm, considering. LOL.

I visit but I havent posted in a while. I figured I better post since my avatar seems to have been conficated for nonpostment. I didnt think my snippy attitude would be fair to the newbies. If you cant say something nice..................

I really dont have anything new to post about me. Dont want to bore everybody with the same old same old melodrama. Elvis is still in the pokey. The "outlaws" are still horses patoots. Im still taking care of Mom and my grandmother. I still have a herd of snitty kitties. And Im still working part time.

clairenov06

hi cecilia,
you still there?

prodigal

Yeah, I hear ya. There are days when I have one nerve left and EVERYBODY is getting on it! I was once married to a pathological liar/narcissist/alkie - hey, can I pick 'em or what??? I stayed extremely quiet through it all. Quiet equated with not getting hit, so I stuffed it all down for a long time.

Now I frequently have those MEAN days when I spew forth all the stuffed-down garbage like Mount St. Helens. However, I also have good days, calm days, indifferent days, or days like today that are right out of an episode from "The Twilight Zone."

denny57

hi cecilia, nice to see you checking in - you gave me one of my favorite lines that i still share with people - the why are we in a handbasket. i'm laughing now as i type this :-)

I'm sorry you're feeling that way, but I sure remember it. Yes, I got to the point where I was pissed off at everyone, everything and then some, including my innocent kitties.

Vent away - it really helps. And take care. ((()))

mfisher

I can understand, I recieved a reminder that I hadn't posted in awhile. I have my mean days. When it comes to ex ah no more nice, my give a damn is busted.
Life just seems to go on. The back lash of living with a A for 23 years continues to rear it's ugly head as new situations occur in my life. It is amazing the how the ripples continue to effect us, even though the are out of our immediate life.
I love your signatures.

splendra

What I always say is Nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssss. Mean is real I like it.

an'ka

You know what, after my experiences with AH and as I get older, I just want to take that "nice" attitude and shove it. Seriously. I am quiet by nature and have a tendency to stew about things rather than express it. Funny thing is, all my life I actually prided myself on NOT getting angry! Well, now I realize that's because I was trying so damn hard to please everybody, to be that nice polite girl. Now, after two years of mud, my well of anger is full to the brim--it feels different, sometimes scary, a lot of times empowering. Now I am proud to have that because it means that I am human, I am an adult, and I am coming into my own. Anger is good.

Cecilia

Hi neighbor. WE must be in the same handbasket. LOL..

Im not talkng about about snit fit mean. More like cold calm disinterested mean. And Im not talking about a mean day. More like mean months, years even. Truthfully I cant remember. I suppose my give a damn is busted. LOL.

Thing is my life is smooth next to all the turmoil I read in the rest of your posts. Heck Im a hermit. I live by myself. I come and go as I please. Elvis doesnt give me any trouble. He thinks I walk on water. Im the only one who visits or talks to him. His people "the outlaws" havent visited him in 2yrs. I havent seen them in a year.

StandingStrong

I haven't had a day like that for awhile but I sure do remember feeling as mad as a wet cat lots of times. I just put it down to the fact that I was acting like my AH had done for so long. Seems that when I was feeling mean, it was usually directed towards him. And when I really looked at it, I realized that I was acting out just like he had all those years. Yea, I learned from the best. And let me tell ya, he didn't like it one bit. There for a bit, we even discussed how we'd traded places in a couple of aspects - mean spirited was one of them.

I guess I come from the thought that this is a normal thing. I mean, heck, look what we've been through. There's bound to be a bit of anger and rage that boils beneath the surface. Even the calmest person needs to vent sometimes. I guess I just think it's really important to not get stuck in that mode.

We live and we learn - and we get mean and angry sometimes.
And sometimes, we're just too darn nice.
Eventually, I think we'll hit that normal phase. And hopefully stay there.

hang in there.

Tally

I stew too...most days I'm fine, in a pretty good mood etc...but some days if I hear the word "drink" one more time I could cheerfully and with a huge smile on my face, kill someone!

That word can completely change me...It's like my patience and understanding has all ran out...

reader

My give a damn is busted!!!! What detachment-- with love to I am so proud of me.

mallowcup

No, my mean is broken. I had a bit of an epiphany and decided that I was becoming a culmination of the worst things that happened to me. There are two things the world doens't need. One more alcoholic or one more mean person.

reader

Your right Mallowcup!! That is what is wrong with the world today, selfishness is very hard for me to deal with. People have too much and they often forget what is important. Kindness- if that makes me a Koodie than I would rather be such- At least it is spelt with a K

mallowcup

Well, I see kindness as a sign or recovery. I feel like I need to be the kind of person who deserves Gods intervention. If I'm being mean, I'm thinking of my husbands drinking. If I'm being kind, I'm thinking of me. If I can be kind with my husbands drinking on my mind, I am closer to being who I want to be. At the end of our lives we will look back over many days. We CAN leave every single person we see in the course of a day feeling better than we found them instead of worse. Everytime I am kind, it feels like I'm repeating a prayer. If you are feeling mean, adopt a family for Christmas, go visit a nursing home, go rescue a pupply from the pound, leave a basket of food on someones doorstep.....or say bahumbug, I'm mean.

jimhere

Sometimes I'm in a bad mood. Quite a bit lately. I suffer from seasonal adjustment disorder this time of year and can go into quite a funk and be awfully moody at times. Those are the days when I keep that myself instead of inflicting it on those around me.

I've found that if practice kindness-sometimes a simple "thank you" or "good morning" lifts me out the funk for a bit.

justicej

In doing healing work on my inner child I found that she has two personas. One inner child is the victim, the other is the bully. Both are very codependent. One is severly wounded by my parents. The other wants to cuss them out. However, once I listened to them both, I found that my relational adult I just didn't feel either needed to act out.

mallowcup

As far as the seasonal adustment, here in NY it is pitch dark by 5pm and first light seems to be around 7am. This is another reason I changed the majority of my work to 3-11pm. It seems to matter less. I get very down if I work days driving to work in the dark and driving home in the dark. I'm trying to spend time outside each morning. The Adirondack winters seem to be something we want to get right in and out of. I was a happy kid with lots of good winter memories. I was outside in the Winter. Being cooped up inside just isn't healthy, you don't think about being mean when you're out taking a brisk walk in the winter with the cold air on your face. I also found that tanning helped. Maybe it's the light or the heat or both that makes me feel better. If you are feeling mean, I think it can be used as a gauge that you need to do some things that make you happy. Fall is a great time of year to take black and white photos to frame for Christmas presents. It's a great time to curl up with a book, to knit, crochet, sew, cook, redecorate, take a walk and have coffee with a friend. If you can make the tiniest positive difference in someones life, you wont feel mean. Life does not have to revolve around a drinking partner.

reader

Hi Jim - Maybe u could try a few minutes in a tanning bed- That is often the treatment for that- I can get really blue too- that rhymes.
Justice, that is a very profound idea, I find my self in those 2 postions often. Happy medium can be achieved, I am a work in progress.

dandmb50

Nice post. I think it might be that your avatar is too large try using one that isn't soo large, KB size of the avatar. Both are mine went up fine I think it;s just the size. Try reducing the size you want to post.


I visit but I havent posted in a while. I figured I better post since my avatar seems to have been conficated for nonpostment. I didnt think my snippy attitude would be fair to the newbies. If you cant say something nice..................

lilac

You are not mean, just fed up .....Sometimes I feel like screaming like a mad woman.....