brasil

I am not really new to recovery...I have been going to AA meetings off and on for two years now...the longest sober I have been since then has been three months. I haven't been drinking much but I have to have a couple of beers every day, once in a while mini bottles of vodka, and I have been in trouble before with blackouts and being caught "off guard" and completely losing control (which I know I don't have to begin with)...I want to be sober, but I am tired of standing up as a newcomer and relapsing so much while in the program...I am looking for another sponsor right now....Any hope for me? I really know I am an alcoholic, this year I was arrested for a DUI and after going through so much with that, I am still drinking. I can't take this anymore.....I don't even really know what to say, or do...

Anna

Hi Brasil,

There is always hope. It took me a long time to stop relapsing too. The main thing is to keep trying.

michski

Hi Brazil, It took me almost 10 years of walking in and out of AA rooms before I got my year chip. Don't worry about it, lots of people there have been in your same shoes. It's not easy to quit. If it were easy I don't think we'd all be hanging around the rooms of Sober Recovery...

I would also relapse around the 3 or 4 month of sobriety. Now I know it was lots of things including growing pains in my relationship but mostly it was PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) This last time I white knuckled it through those 3rd to 7th month creepies and it's now been almost 5 years since I've quit hurting myself and others by my drinking.

You can do it too.
stick around!

Jupiter2

Hi Brasil,

I, too, couldn't stop drinking long after I knew I was an alcoholic. Keep trying to get sober and don't give up. It will "take" if you keep trying. I kept trying for years and finally got sober in '05.

You can do it if I can. I too had to find a new sponsor and AA does work for me now. Try working the steps, as it might help (I've just finally finished step nine myself). I am no step nazi, but I do think they help and get us focused on recovery. Its all about changing the way we live and think (almost every way).

Hang in there and try another meeting. You can make it!

Jup.

chicago

of course there is hope for you!! all ya gotta do is take the suggestions and "rarely have we seen a person fail." i was told coming in to get a sponser, work steps, regularly attend meetings (starting with a 90/90) and it has worked.

even though i have never relapsed i still used for a long period after i knew i was powerless over drugs and alcohol and my life has become unmanagable. what i DIDNT know at the time was that a higher power exists and could restore me to sanity.

barb dwyer

chicago - well said. thanks!

CarolD

Yes...I remember those relapse years too!
I was in AA 5 years before I got my 1 year medallion.

I did not quit until I read a book
the info in "Under The Influence"
convinced me.

Here is a link to excerpts

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

I credit God + AA for my recovery.

Blessings..

odatrose

I am thankful that I lived thru those days and no one had to die behind my drinking. I really had a hard time getting to the willingness to stay stopped point and to follow suggestions. I have been in AA for 20 and I came in when I was 16 via Alateen. So being familiar with this afliction for such a long time there were somethings that I was still in denial about. I only could apply the first part to the 1 step, I would not admit that my powerlessness over alcohol kick the crap out of my life. I drank again as a result of forgeting all the unmanageablity. All it took for me was a drink I never tried before, and a delusion that it wouldn't be the same as my younger days. I went thru the gates of hell and knocked on the door to death. I really feel if it wasn't for me being at a Jumping off place and me calling out for HP help, I would be alive today. It has been a act of Providence that keeps me going everyday and me standing firm on my 1st step daily. It seems to be the only step I have done perfectly since I got back. I remember the DT's, the looks on my kids faces, the not wanting to look at my own face and the hopelessness of ever stopping the insanity of my drinking. I came to believe my first day that it wasn't me who relieved me and I allow that Power in everyday to maintain that fact. When the dumb look of being amazed about this new found desire subsided I gave a big "THANK YOU" to my HIgher Power and got sprung on the "Just for Today, I will do my best in my recovery" theme. I am glad your here today and I hope you will keep coming back. We all have this path to journey so believe me, even if you wander off, others will still be trudging the road to happy destiny and be there to welcome you back. Let the ppl in the rooms help you find the hope your looking for, just ask.

EACH DAY, SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD, RECOVERY BEGINS WHEN ONE ALCOHOLIC TALKS WITH ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC, SHARING EXPERIENCE, STRENGHTH AND HOPE.

brasil

Hi Everyone--

Thank you so much for your support....I am still having a hard time, which is ridiculous because i know where the help is...It's like I get in a blank spot where I contradict myself and EVERY time that I drink even if it's a 24 oz. of beer I regret it...I drank twice this year and if I don't stop this now, I will get in an accident, go to jail, or worse...I cannot take this anymore! I need guidance ... I am looking for a sponsor but obviously am taking too long, I need to get even just a temporary one today....Thank you again for your comments...

-Brasil-

parentrecovers

thinking about you, brasil. my daughter in early recovery saw a billboard this morning (on her way to court for a 2nd dui charge) that said "life has setbacks. it's how you manage them that counts." blessings, k

Emmet Wolf

it's NOT "ridiculous", brasil, its just our disease...

I been tryin this program since 1988... have had 4 yrs, 5 yrs, had 4 1/2 months this Xmas and blew it Xmas nite -- right after dropping 3 friends off from a meeting and supposed to pick my son up at the airport for a week the 26th -- was drunk instead

gotta keep tryin

you can get somebody Temp today I'll bet

(I gotta new sponsor since I relapsed)

had 4 1/2 months at Xmas, man, I would have told you "everything was fine" Christmas night