Irrational feeling vs facts
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: nowheresville
Posts: 872
Irrational feeling vs facts
Yesterday I got thinking about what we say in A.A
"FEELING ARE FEELINGS BUT FACTS ARE FACTS."
I realized that I can accept that I have feelings, I can grieve through those feelings and not feel like there is something wrong with me that I have them.
At the same time I can keep the facts in mind too and not let the feelings and the facts get intertwined.
Ngaire
"FEELING ARE FEELINGS BUT FACTS ARE FACTS."
I realized that I can accept that I have feelings, I can grieve through those feelings and not feel like there is something wrong with me that I have them.
At the same time I can keep the facts in mind too and not let the feelings and the facts get intertwined.
Ngaire
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
ahhh...and therein lies the work.
My most valuable work in 12 step recovery is probably the 10th step, to keep doing daily inventory, or, reality checks on myself. "Is this feeling the truth or just a knee-jerk response"? Is this "feeling" leading me in the right direction or is it just self-centered wishful thinking? and so on....
I have found another truism:
"YOUR BIOGRAPHY BECOMES YOUR BIOLOGY",
in other words, if I invest in my story as being who I am long enough, it will take root in some physical expression, such as tension headache, back pain or other chronic pain in the neck.
Thats why I love the 12 steps programs. They really help to give me clarity and peace of mind. Thanks for the thread. Its a great topic.
My most valuable work in 12 step recovery is probably the 10th step, to keep doing daily inventory, or, reality checks on myself. "Is this feeling the truth or just a knee-jerk response"? Is this "feeling" leading me in the right direction or is it just self-centered wishful thinking? and so on....
I have found another truism:
"YOUR BIOGRAPHY BECOMES YOUR BIOLOGY",
in other words, if I invest in my story as being who I am long enough, it will take root in some physical expression, such as tension headache, back pain or other chronic pain in the neck.
Thats why I love the 12 steps programs. They really help to give me clarity and peace of mind. Thanks for the thread. Its a great topic.
SueMc
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Ithaca, NY
Posts: 6
feelings
This is a hard one for me. My feelings run rampant over me these days and it is becoming unmanageable. My divorce, my relationship with my daughter, my feelings for my boss, all these things hold me back from living in reality. I often feel like it's another form of addiction. My daily life today is filled with roadblocks, in my mind, so when a door slams in my face, I retreat to fantasy.
This is where meetings and my good friends in the program come in. It's like they say in the meetings: when I'm in my head, I'm in enemy territory! I talk about my feelings with friends I can trust who know me, and in a very loving way they show me what's real in my life. They tell me I'm a good person who deserves to be loved and that I have a Higher Power who loves me. I can then let go and live in the moment. This is crucial, not only for my sobriety but for my detachment from people I want to control. In my head, all the people I want to move like chess pieces obey what I say. In my life, all these people are individuals with their own Higher Power who can make decisions without my help.
Although this is hard, when I'm able to do it, I find peace.
take care, sue
This is where meetings and my good friends in the program come in. It's like they say in the meetings: when I'm in my head, I'm in enemy territory! I talk about my feelings with friends I can trust who know me, and in a very loving way they show me what's real in my life. They tell me I'm a good person who deserves to be loved and that I have a Higher Power who loves me. I can then let go and live in the moment. This is crucial, not only for my sobriety but for my detachment from people I want to control. In my head, all the people I want to move like chess pieces obey what I say. In my life, all these people are individuals with their own Higher Power who can make decisions without my help.
Although this is hard, when I'm able to do it, I find peace.
take care, sue
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
I like to think of my feelings like an indicator or light on the dashboard of my car...then I can use them as tools to find out what is wrong or right inside. Just because that little light blinks does not mean the engine will explode, maybe it just needs a quart of oil. On the other hand, if I ignore or dismiss the blinking light...maybe some serous damage will be done.
I try to see emotions as things that I can enjoy as well, but not allow them to control my actions. Life without emotions, both positive and negative would be very boring and dangerous too.
I try to see emotions as things that I can enjoy as well, but not allow them to control my actions. Life without emotions, both positive and negative would be very boring and dangerous too.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
It is when I feel the feelings - and then detach enough to see the facts - that I generally find the truth. It's definately not an easy thing to do as the heart is so powerful in wanting to draw on the feelings. The mind even at it's best is sometimes weak in it's stand against the heart.
But as you said - feelings are feelings and facts and are facts.
Sometimes it's just hard to really distinguish the two apart.
But when done, the facts are my reality. My feelings then, are still just feelings.
But as you said - feelings are feelings and facts and are facts.
Sometimes it's just hard to really distinguish the two apart.
But when done, the facts are my reality. My feelings then, are still just feelings.
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