gettin'stronger

Hi everyone. I just joined because I read a couple of your posts and related so much it hurt. I live and have lived with more alcoholics than I care to think about. Currently, my baby brother, 17, lives with me. He has been out of rehab for about 2 weeks now, but he used three days ago. I know I need help for myself and that I can't "fix" him. But there is still that part of me that begs, and prays, and hopes every day that I can help him to turn it all around. I think that this group is exactly what I need to start helping me. I'm finding that I don't know what the "right" thing is to do anymore. I live this roller coaster ride of insanity, hoping that one day it will just get better by itself. Any advice?

FriendofBill

(((((((((((gettin'stronger)))))))))))

welcome, so glad u signed up here. You are now one of us!

My advice is the same I give to anyone and everyone who is hurting and suffering the effects of alcoholism.

Get thyself to al-anon. The hope, help, education and love you need is there, waiting to be given.

Alcoholism/codependency is stronger that any will power of mine....I cant fix it/him/them, BUT I can help.....but only first by helping myself.

Get to meetings, keep posting here, we do understand and you are NOT alone!

gettin'stronger

Thanks for your reply. I have been reading through some of the posts and am just wondering if many members are parents/older siblings of alcoholics, or are dealing with teen alcoholics. A lot of posts seem to be significant others, which I know is just as difficult. I guess I'm just looking for someone to relate to. Is that insane?:

FriendofBill

insane?

What, are you insane to ask if its insane? LOL

of course not! Thats what recovery is all about, each of us relating and sharing so we know we are not crazy.

There are mostly sig other issues here, tho on the Friends of Addicts board, you will find parent issues. Not too many siblings post here about thier addicts/alikes, but just seek the things that DO sound familiar and can indentify with. Its all the same addiction just diff family members.

Keep reading, esp the stickies at the top of each forum.

embraced2000

hi gettin'stronger
welcome aboard!!!

this is a great place to come to....you never have to be alone in your journey again....there's always someone around to offer support.

jeri

gettin'stronger

The irony of this situation gets clearer every minute. You said that there are parents, but not many siblings on this site. The funny thing is that I've assumed the role of parent for most of my brother's life due to our mother's problem with alcohol/drugs. It seems that the very thing I've spent the last 17 years trying to save him from, is the one thing I can't help him with. Funny how things come full circle. All my life I've been trying to save someone, be better for someone, be loved by someone . . . and it took this long for me to realize that the disease is in the way. I find myself getting very angry lately because more and more I realize that this disease has been in the way my whole life. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of watching the people I love drink themselves into oblivion. I'm sick of being the one they turn to when it all falls apart. I'm sick of repeating the same patterns over and over, each time believing it will get better. I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of it all. How do you stop the cycle? I know that some people think you have to distance yourself from the alcoholic in order to help yourself. But most of my family is alcoholic. Am I really expected to walk away from them? And my brother's only 17 years old. How is it possible that I cannot help him? I am so frustrated. I know I've rambled a lot here and skipped from one topic to another. It's hard to know from one minute to the next what bothers me most.

mazey

Oh, gettin stronger, your concerns and worries are so understood! We have been affected by an addict/alcoholic in some way, shape or form and don't have all the answers but sure understand & care. Just post here, read, and use what you can to help. We care, Sharing, Linda