scared and sad

I have pangs of doubting myself today. After all he still works full time. Is it possible for an alcoholic/addict to hold down a job. He doesn't drink during the day but he does get high. Was he right. Am I overreacting? Some other peoples stories are so much worse than mine. Or will my story get worse if I don't do something now? I think I know the answer to that. I guess i'm hoping that he'll realize what he's going to loose if he doesn't quit. Then he quits, I go back, and we live happily ever after. I'm hoping so...

cmc

Hello,
One thing I have learned from going to alot of meetings and from coming here to SR is that anybody else's problems may seem better or worse than mine, but I still have to live with myself. The bottom line for many of us is that only we can truly know what we can and cannot tolerate from the other person.
Only time and his choices/actions will prove if he wants the same things that you do out of life. There is always hope the the addict/alcoholic to change. Many do change and try to put their lives back together or start over anew. Until and if that happens I hope you will find some face to face support and also keep coming here to SR.

prodigal

And it is also contingent upon you. Believe me, once they sober up you have no guarantee that the old behaviors will suddenly go away. Happily ever after does not occur when someone stops picking up. I think it happens when each person minds their own business, lets the other partner grow at their own pace, and shows respect for one another's recovery.

FriendofBill

stop comparing. Your life, your pain is real, dont minimize.

You left for a reason, remember? It was THAT bad. Just cus it may not be as bad as others, it was bad for YOU, and YOU are important.

No second guessing, move forward, heal yourself, and if in time, with full clarity and you wish to return, do so. But only unless you have taken real time to re-evaulate the situation.

No self doubting, self love instead.

FormerDoormat

"Happily ever after" only happens in fairy tales. And no, you didn't overreact.

bikewench

...happily ever after....

Yeah... I want that one too... ;o)

And the next thought of mine is that the only one I will ever have that with is God.


And the loving relationship I have with myself....
that can be happily ever after as well...

but... to wait for a user that puts his using... and protection of that using... and the lies and manipulation and self centeredness, and excuses.. and lack of initiative... and .. and... and.....
.. to wait and hope and dream.....


But wait.... one can do happily ever after....

when the user finally gets so sick and broken from using....
and broke... and needy....
and sick....
and broke....

.. did I mention needy..??


They'll come and wanna do "happily ever after".... no doubt about it...

The "prince" will finally have arrived....


In my case....
I'd probably choke to death on resentment... and so much for happily ever after.