hi
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: nowheresville
Posts: 872
hi
well today was the first time seen the ex in 8 weeks. All because he had to absolutle ly have something that he'd given me.
Absolutely suddenly needed it (but apologized for taking it from me) so could I take it to the noon meeting and give it to my friend to drop off for him.
Well I gort the thing there, got it to my friend and left the meetinga s I didn't feel safe about meeting him in a frf. Unfortunately ran into him on my way home. He hands me the cd with pictures on it he's made for me.
And he looked bad, really bad. I said I'm going home and drove away.
And I feel guilty,confused and head spinning now.
Ngaire
Absolutely suddenly needed it (but apologized for taking it from me) so could I take it to the noon meeting and give it to my friend to drop off for him.
Well I gort the thing there, got it to my friend and left the meetinga s I didn't feel safe about meeting him in a frf. Unfortunately ran into him on my way home. He hands me the cd with pictures on it he's made for me.
And he looked bad, really bad. I said I'm going home and drove away.
And I feel guilty,confused and head spinning now.
Ngaire
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
Hi Ngaire,
Every time AH would show up at my office after I moved out, I would be in a tail spin too. I guess that's why no contact is so effective. I know that you didn't intend to see him, but that just reinforces why you have chosen to not see him, you know? Had you not seen him, you might not have had the opportunity to understand how vital not seeing him has been to you. Was that confusing enough?!
Take care.
Every time AH would show up at my office after I moved out, I would be in a tail spin too. I guess that's why no contact is so effective. I know that you didn't intend to see him, but that just reinforces why you have chosen to not see him, you know? Had you not seen him, you might not have had the opportunity to understand how vital not seeing him has been to you. Was that confusing enough?!
Take care.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
hi ngaire
champion head spinner here....if hey gave out tropies for it, i'd have dozens.
it took me 2 years of this crap before i finally, finally realized that any contact with him hurt me and kept me emotionally paralyzed.
did not want to believe it. cause i wanted him.
sorry you got triggered, ngaire. i understand.
but, hey, look what you learned from this accidental sighting.
blessings to you
jeri
champion head spinner here....if hey gave out tropies for it, i'd have dozens.
it took me 2 years of this crap before i finally, finally realized that any contact with him hurt me and kept me emotionally paralyzed.
did not want to believe it. cause i wanted him.
sorry you got triggered, ngaire. i understand.
but, hey, look what you learned from this accidental sighting.
blessings to you
jeri
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Join Date: Oct 2004
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The thing was he wasn't supposed to show until 1pm after the meeting,he showed up at 11:30 am before the meeting. I dropped the parcel early to avoid a ftf but guess it wasn't meant to be. He really was determined to run into me by showing up an hour and a half early.
This afternoon I get an angry e-mail from him telling me if we can't see each other then there should be absolutely no contact.
Ngaire
This afternoon I get an angry e-mail from him telling me if we can't see each other then there should be absolutely no contact.
Ngaire
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
hmmmm......sounds like he's kickin it up a notch.
xah did same thing.....emotional blackmail is what i call it now.....back then it was panic time, cause i knew that his disease was eventually going to have it's way, and he would move on to the next relationship, because his disease was going to have to have a codie to survive and thrive.
stay strong, ngaire. i always caved in to my heart strings, and entered into a gruesome 2 year long goodbye.....that experience just about broke my spirit.
luv to ya
jeri
xah did same thing.....emotional blackmail is what i call it now.....back then it was panic time, cause i knew that his disease was eventually going to have it's way, and he would move on to the next relationship, because his disease was going to have to have a codie to survive and thrive.
stay strong, ngaire. i always caved in to my heart strings, and entered into a gruesome 2 year long goodbye.....that experience just about broke my spirit.
luv to ya
jeri
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
thats the disease kickin up dust in your mind.
Let it settle, cus YOU know you did the right thing for you both by detaching.
When you dont fight the dust kicker, it will blow away. Good going girlfriend!
Let it settle, cus YOU know you did the right thing for you both by detaching.
When you dont fight the dust kicker, it will blow away. Good going girlfriend!
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I'm thinking I'll need to say the words to him which I should have said to my mother 30 years ago:
"I'm not responsible for you and your life, I'm not your mother, stop making me responsible, I'm choosing to get well and you are choosing to be sick and make yourself sicker............ If you want to take responsibility and get well for yourself you are welcome to contact me, if not then I wish you all the best."
Ngaire
"I'm not responsible for you and your life, I'm not your mother, stop making me responsible, I'm choosing to get well and you are choosing to be sick and make yourself sicker............ If you want to take responsibility and get well for yourself you are welcome to contact me, if not then I wish you all the best."
Ngaire
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