chicago

i had a really bad day at work. i work in sales for bank of america and it would take too long to give full details, but im pretty sure a couple workers are "poaching" deals of mine. meaning when someone calls in for me, people answering the phone are fielding my calls and hence stealing money from me. i got into a slight altercation with one of the "poachers" at the end of the day..she made an ignorant statement about me and ive felt miserable ever since. i am caring a huge resentment. before i entered the program i carried resentments, which left me spiritually bankrupt and self destructive. since entering the program, i havent carried a resentment this big. resentments according to the big book are the number 1 offender of spiritual disease and the most likely cause to drink. when i carry a resentment, i lose gratitude. when i lose gratitude, i lose faith. thats why my self-will runs riot.

i think i will pray but hopefully relaying my feelings to other alcoholics will also be a healthy coping mechanism. my problems are so high class today...thank God for allowing the program of AA to be in my life.

Stormtooth

Chicago,

Thanks for sharing this with us.

This really does suck. Alright, now you know you have pouchers, and that might be the price of doing business. You are in a competitive environment, and there are probably lots of people more desperate than you.

I appreciate the idea of resentment being a disease also. i harbor lots of them and wish i did not. One of the things they stressed in rehab is one of the biggest things people in recovery had problems bending their brains around was the fact life is just not fair.

I'm still working on that one!

There will always be a good reason to drink. It is always Unhappy Hour somewhere.

Try to forget the altercation and realize from now on, leads are going to be pouched, right or wrong.

And if you have any hints about getting over resentment, please let me know. It poisons me all the time.

laurie6781

Well let's see, instead of working to get over a resentment, why not work on not getting one to begin with? Thats what I had to do for me.

I finally figured out that my resentments come from my expectations of others.

Whenever he/she/it/them are not doing what I want he/she/it/them to do when I want he/she/it/them to do it, TO MAKE ME MORE COMFORTBLE I am going to get a resentment.

So, with lots of practice, practice, practice, I came to understand that Life itself is not perfect, therefore there may be 'poachers', or 'out and out thieves' in the workplace, etc. I don't have to be like them. I can be the best me I can be each day and..............................I won't get resentments. I believe totally in "what goes around comes around" or better "what you give out you will get back 3 fold."

It took me several years into sobriety to get through all the "bad karma" that kept coming my way, but by continuing to practice, practice, practice, being thoughtful, kind, and considerate to all who crossed my path on a daily basis, my life got better............................................ ....lots better.

Now I would love to tell you that I don't get resentments anymore, roflmao but I do get one once in a while, (progress not perfection) and when I do I go into "last resort" mode. My sponsor's husband used to tell me to "pray for the SOB" lol, so......................I pray for the person for 14 days straight, and if I miss a day, I have to start over. Well let me tell you, doing that a few times and pretty soon the resentment just disappears, lol.

J M H O

Love and hugs,