FriendofBill

Last night's episode of intervention was such an education of alcholism.

During the intervention itself, the alcoholic woman went from:

1. NOT going to treatment. END OF STORY
to
2. Maybe in a week, maybe!
to
3. I can go in 2 days, on Weds, but not before
to
4. I will go tonight, on the very last flight only

and why did she change her mind?

Cus they had the help of a professional who knows the addicted mind, knew how to maneuver the process to where it gave HER the comtrol to make the decision. The interventionist said when the woman was out of the room, we have to make it so that SHE thinks she is controlling the decision, that its on her terms. In other words, he out manipulated her.

It just goes to show how we,er me, the emotionally affected family member could never possibly have the appropriate means to get the alcoholic to get help because I cannot stand to look at anything objectively, nor have the detachment to think clearly and effectively.

I wanted to throw tomatos at the woman for seeing her so manipultive and denying and rationaling everything. And that, ladies and gents, is MY disease!

BTW...she flew with her new alkie boyfriend to treatment, but bailed out at the airport during her connection and went home, even tho her family said if she did they would cut her off. Ha...they always said that before and never did....but this time they did!

The PS at the end of the story was she did go to treatment 6 months after the filming, which was just this past Nov. 6th. Hope she makes it.

carolynmandy

I saw that episode also. Did you notice the look of horror on her face when her parents said they would cut her off??
I know how hard it is to stay strong dealing with an addict. I felt so bad for her family, and I know what you mean about wanting to throw tomatoes at her!!!!

Pick-a-name

I saw this episode (again),too.

You make some great observations! I have noticed that as the weeks go on, I am starting to look at this show more as an "observer" of the dynamics,etc,too and it is helpful and very interesting! WOW... I see myself in the family members and hear the QUACK!!! of the addict,too. Last night had lots and lots of quacking..the girl and her rehab-Romeo!

I hope this girl did go into treatment last week and accepts the help.

embraced2000

good morning all
saw this episode when it aired first time.

she lived pretty well for someone who was not employed....course her family saw to that.

the dynamics of all the shows......i see mental name tags on all of them....me, him, friends, them, those, family, etc. can see all of my family in the people on these shows.

blessings
jeri

HolyQow

I thought I was watching Intervention.....but it was about meth users.
It was still educational....and sad. When they said meth users have only a 6% (yes only SIX) rate of recovery, then I actually was "glad" that AH only has a beer problem......very sad.

The worst part was a mother, who taught her sons how to get high, and continues to do drugs with them. This woman also lives with her 84 yr. old mother....now there's an enabler if I ever saw one. There was another couple, young, pregnant, and had the baby during the time the show was filmed.....and the father was actually sitting there holding the child, and declaring how he wouldn't do drugs anymore.....then a few scenes later, he was discussing "negotiating" with his wife on if it would be ok to just do them outside of the home, and not let her know......

I've heard of shaken baby syndrome, but wonder if there is a law on Shaken PARENT syndrome...I wanted to snatch the father up by his NOSE jewelry and tell him a few things! One good part, at least the new mom was not a user, and was very concerned about her new son getting taken away if the father is doing drugs (I don't even know which ones...crack? crank? meth?)...I wouldn't doubt that she ends up on this forum very soon.

There were a lot of honest statements from users, about not caring about friends/family/bills....all they cared about was where/when they could get there next high.

I am wondering if these types of shows will have any impact .. probably not on the addicted, but maybe it will enlighten those of us around them. When they run out of enablers, then what will they do??

an'ka

Honestly, I don't see how intervention can be effective. Maybe it can be an eye opening experience in that an alcoholic gets to hear from various family members/significant others at the same time at the same place, but trying to "out-manipulate" him--what's the value in that? An A will feel like it's his decision, but change his mind shortly thereafter, when he realizes the decision really WASN'T his. I just have trouble seeing it, I guess.

BigSis

Sometimes, it takes a little sobriety/clean time to make really good decisions. If I think of it as "out-manipulating" the alcoholism, and not the alcoholic - then it makes even more sense. Because the condition of alcoholism changes the way an alcoholic acts and reacts in the world... while active, it is ALL about protecting access to alcohol.

Once sober long enough, most alcoholics can use reason to help them to actively participate in their own recovery.

Because after getting sober, staying sober is the real fight.

Friend of Bill (I tried to abrieviate your name and got a swear world symbol! grin) ... your insights are very good. Thank you for this.

JellyBean

I watched that episode last night, wow, I was so surprised that she could drink 3-4 bottles of wine at a time and still be alive, how scary for her family. It seemed like she had such a loving family too. I really felt sorry for her sister when she tried talking to her, there was nothing that she could say without it turning into an arguement, it's amazing how much she (the sister) put up with.
I can sympathize with the not wanting to be alone part, I can't stand to be alone and if I had to I'm sure I would be pretty messed up too. She definitely needed alot of therapy besides the treatment.
I hope she gets the help she needs and I hope they do an update show on her in a few months.
I usually try to watch Intervention, but I always feel so bad I say I won't watch it anymore, but I do.

dayxday

Hi - I don't watch much television but am interested in the show you are discussing.
I live in the Pacific Northwest - can anyone tell me when this is on, what channel and the exact name? Is a regular show?
Thanks
dayxday

Pick-a-name

I thought that is what was meant,too............basically ignoring the "QUACK" and out-witting the disease.

Pick-a-name

This particular show really got me aggitated (talking back to the TV! haha) then I realized why when I read this. This is the way my AH got almost every night with me (and often kids) for the months before he left our house. SO frustrating!!! Worse when he drank, but also other times,too. Left because he said he couldn't get along with me because I tried to pick fights !

The show is called "Intervention" and it is on the A & E channel....10p.m. EST on Sundays.http://www.aetv.com/intervention/

FriendofBill

Oh hell, I yell back at this show everytime I watch it. I had to place a boundary on myself to not watch it until I could control myself.
My son got tired of telling me I needed a time out.

Why do I get upset? Cus I think, still, that the alcoholic is purposely trying to pull a load of maipulative bull crud. I forget that this is thier nature, it is normal for them to respond the way they do, and they think it is right and normal.

In other words...I forget thier sick and the disease runs thier mind and mouth....not them.

I would LOVE to see that woman get out of tx with a whole new attitude. She was a pretty woman, who lost herself a long time ago. I have a feeling she will need months and months of treatment.

fixyou

HolyQow......I too saw the episode on the meth users ( i also saw the one on the A a few months back), But the Meth /crack episode was so shocking to me, the grandmother who furnished a roof over all thier heads and used her SS income to provide for the, excepte when the boys went out shoplifting. The mother, oh my God, the mother, what can i say, but what a piece of work she was. I think i sat there with my mouth hanging open through the whole show, didn't even move when commercial came on, i was so stunned.

As for the alcoholic, when i watched that one the first time a few months back it made me hate her, she was so mean and angry, and a used everyone around her. I had a hard time relating since most of the time my AH is not mean, he works a 50-60hr week and makes very good money, he has never sponged on anybody for any money. But then again there are many types of alcoholics.

steve11694

The reason intervention can succeed is "the power of the group" can overcome the manipulative, rationalization, twisting ability of the addict.

Expert addiction counselors can pull all their hair out and turn blue when trying to make headway with an addict one on one. Many of the experts are recovered addicts themselves and know all the tricks,


the book "love first" Jeff Jay, Hazelden is all about intervention for the family and dealing with the addict.

that book was like a bible for me, along with "i'll quit tomorrow"

understanding addiction makes it MUCH better dealing with it.


Love to all

Missy

We just had a perfessional intervention with my AH two weeks ago. TV doesnt show all of it.. It takes rehersals, fine tuning and wears you and the alcholic totally out.
I think in the last episode like with my husband, we totally just wore him out after almost 4 hours of intervention procedures in our front room. When he finally said "yes" we got him out of there so fast, he didnt even touch the floor to a waiting car.
Very tiring, and emotional and can cost a bunch but so worth the gift of life of someone you love.
He is going now to start his 3rd week and doing well in a safe enviroment. AH hasnt been sober for over a year...
Most insurances not cover this treatment. I have Blue Cross and it covered all but $100 of the $30,000 treatment. Worth checking out and our HP's are out there!