robina

I posted a month ago that I had ratted out an alcoholic co-worker to my boss. Although I felt very guilty doing it, most people supported my actions. Afterwards, nothing happened as far as I know. This is a public institution and it is very, very difficult to get fired.

Well, after telling my boss that my co-worker had been coming to work smelling of booze, I decided to mind my own business from that point forward. But the co-worker's drinking has gotten a lot worse. You can smell it on him every morning now.

This week, one of our clients took me aside and spoke to me in confidence that she had smelled booze on him first thing in the morning, and many other clients had been saying the same thing for weeks. She told me that the only thing stopping her from reporting him formally was that she did not want him to be fired. She wanted to know if she reported him, did I think he would be fired. She was mostly concerned about the fact that he was driving under the influence to work every day, and could possibly cause an accident, but she did not want him to be fired.

I told her that as far as I know, our institution has responded to similar situations in the past by sending people to re-hab for treatment. She said "thank you, that's what I wanted to know". But I told her that I was not able to tell her what to do. That would have to be her decision.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar with friends or co-workers? I feel so uncomfortable about this. I feel bad for my co-worker, but I know that this situation is triggering my underlying feelings about alcoholism in general. I have been hurt so badly by the alcoholism of family member that I might be over sensitive to this. Possibly, my tolerance for someone smelling of booze at work is very low.

But Is it a crime to show up at work smelling of booze? Is it possible I am over-reacting? Apart from smelling of booze, he seems functional.

I'd rather not be involved at all, but I can't help but be involved because we all work together so closely. I just want to do the right thing.

denny57

If he is not putting people's lives at risk as a direct result of his JOB (an airline pilot, say), then I'd let it go. You've already reported him once.

I think if I was in your situation, the question I would ask myself is why do I think I know what is the right thing to do? It isn't easy, I know.

AllTooSober

My AFiance has been known to show up to work smelling like last night's rum (he typically showers at night instead of the morning), but he never drinks before work (as far as I know, anyway). I don't think smelling like booze is the problem so much as whether he's drunk on the job.

robina

AllTooSober, denny57:

Thanks for that feedback.

It's true - this is not a "life or death" job. Even if he was drunk on the job, it would not endanger lives while he was here.

And yes, my own daughter reeks of alcohol when she has been drinking heavily the night before, even if she has not had anything to drink in the morning. That means that he might possibly be coming to work sober, and the only problem is that he smells of booze.

Thanks, that gives me some perspective.
The best plan right now is to mind my own business.

mallowcup

This may fall into that catagorywhere someone has body ordor or bad breath. How do you tell them? I find that the smell of yesterdays alcohol coming out of someones pores smells worse than alcohol. I used to work at a bar where the smell of accumulated empties was so stinky! It is very hard to walk up and say anything about someones personal hygiene. We run into this problem in the hospital. Some folks have bad hygiene. We put a dab of spirits of peppermint under out noses. You can't change someone else, and eventually someone will complain. You don't have to smell it in the mean time.

WantsOut

I suggest that you sign up for an anonymous ***** email address with a fake name. Email him and say that both clients and co-workers notice you smell like alcohol. You were too afraid to confront him directly but thought he deserved to know now while there is still time to keep the job and stop the whispers. Put it nicely.

robina

mallowcup - thanks, yes, I never thought of it that way.

In any event, it's out of my hands now. I believe the client has spoken to our supervisor.

I will just do my best to mind my own business from now on.

robina

WantsOut - thanks.

Wow, I never even thought of that option. Actually, that's a great idea.

denny57

Just a thought - it's controlling the situation. Robina - what do you want to get out of this?

Take what you like and leave the rest.

WantsOut

If you decide to do it, email it to him at home. You want nothing to touch work.

And the question of why you should get involved is valid. Consider it.

denny57

This post has been on my mind off and on all day. Why not try imagining a worst case scenario - that an anonymous email like this causes this man to commit suicide rather than face the shame. Can you live with that?

I used to think all my meddling would only result in positive outcomes - the ones my vivid happy ending imagination came up with.

embraced2000

there's also the possibility that this man's supervisor has actually already spoken with him about this issue. confidentiality, is crucial in the work place, and therefore, we are not always privy to what has actually been done.

part of my illness was, and still is at times, that i think i have the right answers to someone elses problems....so now i am aware that when i begin to have those thoughts, i know to look inward.

why is it so important to me?
what is my intent?
how is it making me feel?
where are the origins of those feelings?

just my experiences from my own world....
take what you like and leave the rest


my sponsor once told me to hold out my arms.....then turn around in a circle.
she said....this space is all that is of any concern to you.

god bless
jeri