holister7

i dont know if im in the right place or not im not sure where to go...my boyfreind is really great he just insists on smoking pot at various times through-out the day to help himself unwind. he insists on smoking it before we leave to go out for dinner or for a drink,and after repeated begging he has stopped that save the last time when he lied and said he didnt but i knew just from looking in his eyes.
its not that i care so much about him doing something "illegal", its just that he acts different when hes stoned and i dont like being sober when hes just in adifferent head space. he gets distant and aloof because he is stoned and cannot beleive me when i tell him he isnt acting himself.
he knows he has an addiction and tried hard at times to stop. i see him going on for days without a smoke to please me, but then its just a matter of time before he caves in. he knows he needs to stop. but how?
what should i do to help him?
why does he have this addiction? why does he risk our relationship and trust to smoke? i dont want to control him but i hate it! and i hate the way he is around me when hes high!
what do i do?

1_day@_a_time

uh, not looking to be harsh, but he's an addict.

addicts often place everything around them in 2nd place due to the disease.

Only when he wants to do something about it, will he change.

I was a daily smoker (and drinker) for over 25 yrs.

I finally got sick and tired of it all........

Suggest you look into Al-anon for you. May want to work on you.....not him.

c'est la vie

Welcome to SR. You are in the right place to help you find answers to your questions. I suggest you take a look and/or post in the the Friends and Family Forum since those folks understand what you're going through as far as wishing to control his actions. I agree though that you should focus on what you can do for you in this situation.