As The Jack Ass Turns Part 4
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
As The Jack Ass Turns Part 4
This is a link to the beginning of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 1
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html
and a link to the end of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 1
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-1-a-6.html
------------------------------------------------
This is a link to the beginning of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 2
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
and a link to the end of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 2
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-5.html
------------------------------------------------
This is a link to the beginning of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 3
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html
and a link to the end of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 3
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1092882
------------------------------------------------
Mike
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html
and a link to the end of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 1
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-1-a-6.html
------------------------------------------------
This is a link to the beginning of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 2
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
and a link to the end of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 2
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-5.html
------------------------------------------------
This is a link to the beginning of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 3
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html
and a link to the end of As The Jack Ass Turns Part 3
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1092882
------------------------------------------------
Mike
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: norwalk,ct
Posts: 48
As The Jack Ass Turns Part 4
Hi everyone,
Ijust got home from a double shift at the resteraunt.Not quite sure why it hit me at this time of night to really start sharing on this thread.Micro and R.Z., you are the only two, as far as I know who have heard my story.
Micro, you said you asked me to be your sponsor because out of all the stories you heard I was the only one who drank like you. Even my sponsor never knew anyone who came close to my habits.My first real A.A meeting(at least the first one I remember) an old timer who had 30 years said it had been a while since he'd seen an honest to goodness drunk.
For everyone else out there I'm not giving up on Micro . I can't ,you see.My last year of drinking,(the last of a 30 year run) I was 911'd three times, detoxed 7 times, I.O.P. 4 times and 2 -30 day prorams. I thought each one was my bottom.But they were only physical bottoms and we all know that's not what it takes! It's a truly spiritual bottom that all of us in recovery really , really need to hit(find?).
Sept. 30, 2005 I was scheduled to do a double shift.At 1:30 in the afternoon I told my boss I couldn't keep going on like this,"I know I'll lose my job , but I gotta go".I was detoxing at work.See I hadn't had a drink for an hour!He gave me a double bourbon so I would stop shaking enough to get home.That was my last drink(I pray). I went to detox that afternoon , directly to a rehab.Icalled my wife from there and told her I wasn't coming straight home this time.See I always had and started drinking right away.Said I found a sober house in town.
You see Micro and everyone else, she was told by family and friends to be shed of me but she told them she couldn't,"He's my husband I can't give up,I would do anything for him."But she almost did give up she couldn't fight the bottle.It was stronger.She stuck it out till I was ready and willing, when I truly had had enough.
This is why I can't turn my back on you Jackie, but untill you really hit that spiritual bottom,I MUST turn a deaf ear .
All my love and prayers,
I truly hope you find what we all have searched for and found,.Trust me it's worth every ounce of energy you've got to be sober .
D.
Ijust got home from a double shift at the resteraunt.Not quite sure why it hit me at this time of night to really start sharing on this thread.Micro and R.Z., you are the only two, as far as I know who have heard my story.
Micro, you said you asked me to be your sponsor because out of all the stories you heard I was the only one who drank like you. Even my sponsor never knew anyone who came close to my habits.My first real A.A meeting(at least the first one I remember) an old timer who had 30 years said it had been a while since he'd seen an honest to goodness drunk.
For everyone else out there I'm not giving up on Micro . I can't ,you see.My last year of drinking,(the last of a 30 year run) I was 911'd three times, detoxed 7 times, I.O.P. 4 times and 2 -30 day prorams. I thought each one was my bottom.But they were only physical bottoms and we all know that's not what it takes! It's a truly spiritual bottom that all of us in recovery really , really need to hit(find?).
Sept. 30, 2005 I was scheduled to do a double shift.At 1:30 in the afternoon I told my boss I couldn't keep going on like this,"I know I'll lose my job , but I gotta go".I was detoxing at work.See I hadn't had a drink for an hour!He gave me a double bourbon so I would stop shaking enough to get home.That was my last drink(I pray). I went to detox that afternoon , directly to a rehab.Icalled my wife from there and told her I wasn't coming straight home this time.See I always had and started drinking right away.Said I found a sober house in town.
You see Micro and everyone else, she was told by family and friends to be shed of me but she told them she couldn't,"He's my husband I can't give up,I would do anything for him."But she almost did give up she couldn't fight the bottle.It was stronger.She stuck it out till I was ready and willing, when I truly had had enough.
This is why I can't turn my back on you Jackie, but untill you really hit that spiritual bottom,I MUST turn a deaf ear .
All my love and prayers,
I truly hope you find what we all have searched for and found,.Trust me it's worth every ounce of energy you've got to be sober .
D.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Thanks for this post - a hard lesson for me to learn was that I was not going to be AH's PC2. Hope there is one out there and their paths cross. One of the last things I said to AH was I'd support him all the way in sobriety.
Letting go and giving up are NOT the same thing.
((((PC2))))
Letting go and giving up are NOT the same thing.
((((PC2))))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
pc2...thank you. i am so deeply grateful that you were able to make it and your wife was able to stick with you.
i keep trying to find someone, who compares to my xah, that was able to triumph over the battle, and save their lives,..mine is still out there, lost. the hearing of a success story is so wonderful when i hear one, but the emotional strain of watching and knowing that mine is most likely soon to die, is just killing my very soul. that is why i had to let go. for it was most surely killing me, too.
you are so fortunate that your wife was able to hang in there....i am so delighted when i hear that couples could make it.
my xah progression is now so severe that i live every day believing that the next phone call i receive will be his death notice.
please keep on with your life and celebrate every breath....i know how sweet the love must be, now, within your marriage.....how deep the knowlege goes of what you two have endured and conquered for today, and how that binds the two of you....for no one else surely understands that tie, how sacred the journey, how high the price paid, the depth of love gained through the walking of the fire.
it is so true what you say about the spiritual bottom...mine is so well educated.....has degrees in sociology and behavior something or other, has had the best of the best, and the worst of the worst as far as treatments,
rehabs, detox, you name it......could teach classes on alcoholism and KNOWS the things he must do to stay sober.
but it's the spirtual thing, like you said....he just hasn't been able to surrender. and now he says he feels like such a failure and a$$hole that it's easier to stay on the run and drunk, than to face his life.
pc2, even the local aa chapters have told him that although he is always welcome to attend meetings, most of them refuse to help him anymore, as far as being his sponsor, falling into his chaos, etc. he has been through most of them several times over for the past 25 years.
i quit trying to convince him of his value and worthiness over 2 years ago, because it didn't help him....just prolonged his reaching his bottom, and was absolutely killing me.....literally, it could have....because unfortunately, he became violent.
now i KNOW the man that is hiding in his body....i love that man, i want that man, but now for my own safety, i have to accept that he is not ready for that spiritual bottom and let go of him. it hurts so badly pc2. i don't think i could ever put words to the pain of letting him go.
the other side of letting go, has been a bittersweet, new introduction to myself.
and i'm still so friggin angry at times, i can barely stand it.
but anyway, of course you cannot give up on micro, or any other lost one out there. we all want them to make it so badly.
wantin' ain't gettin' tho. lord, if wantin' it was enough, mine would have been cured 10 times over by now just by my wantin'.
micro, god bless.....come on guy......make it count for someone.
jeri
i keep trying to find someone, who compares to my xah, that was able to triumph over the battle, and save their lives,..mine is still out there, lost. the hearing of a success story is so wonderful when i hear one, but the emotional strain of watching and knowing that mine is most likely soon to die, is just killing my very soul. that is why i had to let go. for it was most surely killing me, too.
you are so fortunate that your wife was able to hang in there....i am so delighted when i hear that couples could make it.
my xah progression is now so severe that i live every day believing that the next phone call i receive will be his death notice.
please keep on with your life and celebrate every breath....i know how sweet the love must be, now, within your marriage.....how deep the knowlege goes of what you two have endured and conquered for today, and how that binds the two of you....for no one else surely understands that tie, how sacred the journey, how high the price paid, the depth of love gained through the walking of the fire.
it is so true what you say about the spiritual bottom...mine is so well educated.....has degrees in sociology and behavior something or other, has had the best of the best, and the worst of the worst as far as treatments,
rehabs, detox, you name it......could teach classes on alcoholism and KNOWS the things he must do to stay sober.
but it's the spirtual thing, like you said....he just hasn't been able to surrender. and now he says he feels like such a failure and a$$hole that it's easier to stay on the run and drunk, than to face his life.
pc2, even the local aa chapters have told him that although he is always welcome to attend meetings, most of them refuse to help him anymore, as far as being his sponsor, falling into his chaos, etc. he has been through most of them several times over for the past 25 years.
i quit trying to convince him of his value and worthiness over 2 years ago, because it didn't help him....just prolonged his reaching his bottom, and was absolutely killing me.....literally, it could have....because unfortunately, he became violent.
now i KNOW the man that is hiding in his body....i love that man, i want that man, but now for my own safety, i have to accept that he is not ready for that spiritual bottom and let go of him. it hurts so badly pc2. i don't think i could ever put words to the pain of letting him go.
the other side of letting go, has been a bittersweet, new introduction to myself.
and i'm still so friggin angry at times, i can barely stand it.
but anyway, of course you cannot give up on micro, or any other lost one out there. we all want them to make it so badly.
wantin' ain't gettin' tho. lord, if wantin' it was enough, mine would have been cured 10 times over by now just by my wantin'.
micro, god bless.....come on guy......make it count for someone.
jeri
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
dave... well, thanks for all you do for recovery...
that was some powerfull speaker tonight... from the two addicted parents, from the beatings as a child... to useing and boozeing, to beating his wife, and all the bad boy crap that goes along with it... now, 5 months and turning it all around...
denny and it takes a real power to understand that denny... for me, time was the factor... it hit me like a safe landing on my head...
jeri, all i can say is i love you... you will be ok... the insanity is over...
jeri, PM me if you like... did it, done it, got over it... well, one never gets over it... just moves on...
all good wishes, and we can try to give only love...
xxoo, patrick
that was some powerfull speaker tonight... from the two addicted parents, from the beatings as a child... to useing and boozeing, to beating his wife, and all the bad boy crap that goes along with it... now, 5 months and turning it all around...
denny
Letting go and giving up are NOT the same thing.
jeri, all i can say is i love you... you will be ok... the insanity is over...
jeri, PM me if you like... did it, done it, got over it... well, one never gets over it... just moves on...
all good wishes, and we can try to give only love...
xxoo, patrick
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: northwestern montana
Posts: 19
All of a sudden, I am confused. I have been following this thread from the beginning, and I thought Rusty Zipper was a female...Patee. Now, I am thinking that Rusty Zipper is a male....Patrick. Please enlighten me as to the players in this drama! Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
mama mama... heres the deal.... yep, i'm a male... aka. patrick... pattee was the name miracal (trish) gave me a long time ago... when i came over to this site to post about her death... that was the name i used in her rememberence...
mama, i have a few others too... hang on...
patrick... aka. pattee, rusty zipper, PC, PC1, Jack Ass (nan calls me that, and i call the slipper jack ass) JAB (jack ass buster) Rusty Felline ( the movie maker rotfl)... and one more mama... plain old ass... (_rz_)
mama, i hope this helps? ... and not confuse the hell out of you... thanks for ask'n, and follow'n this thread...
xxoo, pattee
I thought Rusty Zipper was a female
mama, i have a few others too... hang on...
patrick... aka. pattee, rusty zipper, PC, PC1, Jack Ass (nan calls me that, and i call the slipper jack ass) JAB (jack ass buster) Rusty Felline ( the movie maker rotfl)... and one more mama... plain old ass... (_rz_)
mama, i hope this helps? ... and not confuse the hell out of you... thanks for ask'n, and follow'n this thread...
xxoo, pattee
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: northwestern montana
Posts: 19
Things are becoming clearer...You are Patrick, a male. Trish, female, died...she was a friend or girlfriend? Nan, female, is her sister...is she also a girlfriend, in the friendlier-sense?! You are also Jack Ass. The person who is having such a difficult time right now is "slipper"...a male, I presume. What is your relationship to him? I have read this entire thread thinking you were female and that the slipper was your boyfried...so you can see my confusion!
I, too, am having a very difficult time right now with my AH, so your posts are not only a great help to me, but an entertaining relief, as well. Thanks.
I, too, am having a very difficult time right now with my AH, so your posts are not only a great help to me, but an entertaining relief, as well. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Salem, NH
Posts: 9
I am here and have caught up on all that I missed. I should be heading to the VA tomorrow for a program. The DWI really screwed things up. Dave, I never heard your story only your sharing in meetings and that was enough, wish I had heard your whole story. mtmama, not to be a wise guy but if you thought Pat was a female you must of at some point figured there was some weird sexual thing going on. Hopefuly that isn't what kept you coming back. I have been keeping in touch with a friend of mine via IM that Pat knows. He has been sober for quite a while and tells me like it is but also backs it up with answers to my questions that I ask and figure he won't have a good answer if any at all but sure enough he does. I am not sure if I should post this. I will be gone for a while if I can get into the VA and will not be around to read the responses for a while and not sure I want to, I can just imagine how everyone is going to reem my butt. Be back someday soon I hope. Thanks for the posts, negative or positive, reading them helped me.
PS: RZ does act pretty feminine...hehe....J/K. Luv you Pat.
PS: RZ does act pretty feminine...hehe....J/K. Luv you Pat.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
mama, to clear even more up for ya...
patrick... alk'y/adict... drank/druged since i was 13 years old... 53 now... a long ride to hell... i was a everyday user... hit the skids 3 1/2 years ago... i reached out, asked for help... and "SURENDERED!!!"... met trish (...) in the rooms... she was my girfriend for almost three years... you all know the rest... nan (trishsis) is now my girfriend... and live in roomy... who would'a?... its the destiny bit again...
i met jack ass i guess two years ago... i sponsered him for awhile... now ya get'n to see why i called him "The Slipper" ... he's a lovable guy... kept come around the rooms... i had a great sober roomy with over thirteen years... was one of the most important people in my early sobriety... every mor'n we would be up at the crack of dawn... have some coffee, and talk life, and recovery... gilligan as i call him moved to maryland... i needed a roomy, and jack ass thought he would be good.. i did too...he had a car, was employable, neat, and clean...just one little problem... he had no clean time... he pleaded with me, said it would be good for him to be around someone with strong sobriety... i said, slipper, you get two months sober, and ok... he did, and moved in... got a job right away, and life moved on... ya right... the day he moved in i suspected he was drink'n? ... trish was on her road to death at that point... i didn't, nor wanted to deal with this jack ass... he drank in his room until the day he fessed up... that was the day the long road to my hell with him all started... go to the beginning of this thread, and you all will read my hell... his too...
now i will get to you jack'y...
JA well are you? .. and if you do, go right to a long term rehab... do not pass the mall, and do not collect anything except sobriety and recovery
JA ok jack'y, there's that twisted thinking again...
JA well jack ass, just like trish, twisting and turning it around... just what the hell are you trying to say... ah, i see... you were drinking when you wrote this... and dont say you were not... i know you better then you know.. as you always said... again, just like trish... the good alk'y/adict makeing the other look bad, being the victom... its the blame game... bannana, bannana, fo fanna, it the blame game... and your friend has IM'd me.. what did he say... REHAB!!! LONG TERM!!! ...
JA ... you might want to, the rat of addiction doesnt want you too...
ok jack'y, i'm done... i stil pray for you, hope you follow through, and start a new life... get rid of the jack ass, and become all you can be...
and not for your kid, not for the kids mama, for you jack'y, for you...
oh, just to let ya know, we got your IM's.. remember what we said... in recovery, were here... your not, so were not... ya get it yet?
so microass... if ya dont get help, ya might see this on your computer...
xxoo, your friendly Jack Ass Buster... Patrick
patrick... alk'y/adict... drank/druged since i was 13 years old... 53 now... a long ride to hell... i was a everyday user... hit the skids 3 1/2 years ago... i reached out, asked for help... and "SURENDERED!!!"... met trish (...) in the rooms... she was my girfriend for almost three years... you all know the rest... nan (trishsis) is now my girfriend... and live in roomy... who would'a?... its the destiny bit again...
i met jack ass i guess two years ago... i sponsered him for awhile... now ya get'n to see why i called him "The Slipper" ... he's a lovable guy... kept come around the rooms... i had a great sober roomy with over thirteen years... was one of the most important people in my early sobriety... every mor'n we would be up at the crack of dawn... have some coffee, and talk life, and recovery... gilligan as i call him moved to maryland... i needed a roomy, and jack ass thought he would be good.. i did too...he had a car, was employable, neat, and clean...just one little problem... he had no clean time... he pleaded with me, said it would be good for him to be around someone with strong sobriety... i said, slipper, you get two months sober, and ok... he did, and moved in... got a job right away, and life moved on... ya right... the day he moved in i suspected he was drink'n? ... trish was on her road to death at that point... i didn't, nor wanted to deal with this jack ass... he drank in his room until the day he fessed up... that was the day the long road to my hell with him all started... go to the beginning of this thread, and you all will read my hell... his too...
now i will get to you jack'y...
JA
I should be heading to the VA tomorrow for a program.
JA
mtmama, not to be a wise guy but if you thought Pat was a female you must of at some point figured there was some weird sexual thing going on.
JA
I have been keeping in touch with a friend of mine via IM that Pat knows. He has been sober for quite a while and tells me like it is but also backs it up with answers to my questions that I ask and figure he won't have a good answer if any at all but sure enough he does.
JA
f I can get into the VA and will not be around to read the responses for a while and not sure I want to
ok jack'y, i'm done... i stil pray for you, hope you follow through, and start a new life... get rid of the jack ass, and become all you can be...
and not for your kid, not for the kids mama, for you jack'y, for you...
oh, just to let ya know, we got your IM's.. remember what we said... in recovery, were here... your not, so were not... ya get it yet?
so microass... if ya dont get help, ya might see this on your computer...
xxoo, your friendly Jack Ass Buster... Patrick
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by MicroBip13
I am here and have caught up on all that I missed. I should be heading to the VA tomorrow for a program.
Originally Posted by MicroBip13
I am not sure if I should post this. I will be gone for a while if I can get into the VA and will not be around to read the responses for a while and not sure I want to, I can just imagine how everyone is going to reem my butt. Be back someday soon I hope. Thanks for the posts, negative or positive, reading them helped me.
Why not???
Originally Posted by MicroBip13
PS: RZ does act pretty feminine...hehe....J/K. Luv you Pat.
Micro....prayers and only the best wishes going out to you!! Hopefully you will be doing the work to put a fabulous happy-ending chapter on the JA saga!!! Check back when you can; we are always interested on how things are going; good times and bad.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: West Vancouver, BC
Posts: 405
Prayer is Never Wasted WOW - Have I missed a lot ~!!! Getting caught up here has brought out the Alanon in me..although I don't have a "drinker/drugger" in my life. The feelings from over 34 yrs ago in my childhood home have come front and center..Along with such recognition of my co-dependency... I really did identify with Jeri..
When I was reading this "one day at a time" I didn't notice it...But to read part 3 & 4 all at once was a bit overwhelming...
OK - back to Alanon LOL
Being a Hi Bottom Drunk (Consumption-wise) with (thankfully) an AWFUL Spiritual Bottom saved my butt...I don't identify with JA/Micropbip's drinking or "craving" Thank You God for that "gift".
Altho - Never say Never - I know that could come back & bite me in MY J/A (LOL) And this thread is teaching me even more respect for our disease..
I HATE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!
I am STILL praying for you on a daily basis Jacky - And I am Praying for YOU Pattee and NAN - I'll try to keep up here and really hope Jacky actually makes it there -
Glad to see you sticking to your guns..: :uzi2:
When I was reading this "one day at a time" I didn't notice it...But to read part 3 & 4 all at once was a bit overwhelming...
OK - back to Alanon LOL
Being a Hi Bottom Drunk (Consumption-wise) with (thankfully) an AWFUL Spiritual Bottom saved my butt...I don't identify with JA/Micropbip's drinking or "craving" Thank You God for that "gift".
Altho - Never say Never - I know that could come back & bite me in MY J/A (LOL) And this thread is teaching me even more respect for our disease..
I HATE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!
I am STILL praying for you on a daily basis Jacky - And I am Praying for YOU Pattee and NAN - I'll try to keep up here and really hope Jacky actually makes it there -
Glad to see you sticking to your guns..: :uzi2:
NO HUMAN POWER CAN RELIEVE US OF OUR ALCOHOLISM !!!!!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
