leopardgirl

I went to my first Nar-non meeting last night and made a promoise to myself that I would go for at least 6 months. Thanks to several people here - I have done a lot of research on this site and through suggested books.

My husband is an addict - swtiched from crank, meth, pills, and latest cocaine.

I am trying to detach and get myself back! I just wish I found this site earlier!

He owns his own business and the whole money situation is a mess. Hasn't filed taxes in over a year - my friends all tell me to dump him and take control of the money so he can't spend it all on drugs. ??? He has been clean 10 days - but is still the "sober" addict. He still lies, is totally passive aggressive, hasn't really been involved in the family for the last three days - avoiding us mostly. And he doesn't answer his phone, hasn't changed friends. Looks to me like more of the same.

I am asking for your prayers for my strength, and his salvation (he thinks God is a joke and I've been brainwashed). If you have any suggestions on the above - I would appreciate it.

I have been doing well in small ways - not letting his passive aggressiveness make me angry or hate him. Not responding to his lack of family involvement or follow-through. But I also don't want him to think that his isolation is ok. Blah, Blah - sure you all have heard this a million times before...

Thanks for listening.

BohemiMamaof3

(((Leopardgirl))), that is all you can do! Sounds like you’re doing pretty well so far. Take it a step at a time, a day at a time. Read the Serenity Prayer - the full length version is beautiful (google if it‘s not here somewhere already), read the books recommended in the ‘stickys’ and keep going to your meetings, going to church, reading your Bible and praying!

leopardgirl

Your reply made my cry - thank you so much! I will keep on the path...

deax

You've got my prayers, leopardgirl. As far as not sending him the message that his behavior is ok, maybe think about some boundaries you could set for his behaviors that you find most difficult to deal with in terms of your family. It's hard sometimes to figure out the line between not reacting and still respecting your own rights and feelings. But sounds like you're doing everything you can for the moment and taking all the right steps. Hugs and prayers to you.

Cynay

I wanted to add my prayers to the list.

I know its hard and I would not wish this on anyone, but all you can do is what you are doing. If your going to meetings it might help if you think about getting a sponsor and start working the steps.... at least it helped me keep the focus on me. Also the boundries are a good place to start too.

I might be concerned about the finances .... it rather sounded like he has complete control of them? You could set up an escape plan for you and the kids just in case things really go south...