pinkie_mae

I'm 100% positive I don't belong here. So, before you immediately get a thought in your head that I'm here to hurt you or endanger you, finish reading this. I joined this forum in hopes that I could get some help dealing with alcoholic parents. In no way am I an alcoholic, although, at times I fear that I will become one and it turns into an internal struggle for me to be in college and know that both of my parents are alcoholics. For so long while living with my parents I was being put in the middle of their fights and had no one to turn to. I lived in a prominent community and didn't want to admit to any of my friends what was going on. I was having to deal with my mom and my dad both wanting me to defend them and giving me ultimatums on what would happen if I didn't help one over the other.

I'm here because I need help getting through this with them. While they claim they are getting help, I'm not so sure it's really happening. If I'm not accepted here, then tell me and I'll gladly leave because I try to understand everything that my parents are going through and while I understand it, I realize that I can in no way understand what they really feel on a day to day basis.

Anna

There is a forum here for Adult Children of Alcoholics.

You might like to check it out.

CarolD

Welcome!!

pinkie_mae

I'm hoping that by being here I can learn a little bit more about what my parents are going through and what I can do to help them and what I can do to help keep myself out of their position. Thanks for the recommendation, I'll check it out.

liiise

alanon would greatly help you too , do a google search you'll find there site they only deal with family members , friends ect.. of alcoholics

Wolfchild

Have you considered introducing your parents to this site?

pinkie_mae

One of my parent's is on this site already, which is how i found it.. but it makes it even harder to know she's on here and know that she's still drinking.. especially when she calls me and tells me she's at bars. it drives me crazy and every now and then everything over the past year just keeps replaying in my head and i have breakdowns over it.. and i can't go to meetings with them.. i live too far away [in another state] and i've tried it before.. and i got kicked out of the house.. they make it nearly impossible for me to help them...

LizzyP

I can tell you Al-Anon has helped me by realizing I'm not alone in the situation. One of the values of the program is anonimity, which helps to know what is said here, stays here.

In my own mind I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in, that I'm not a part-of. I'm also always guessing at what normal is.

May you find what you need in your own journey through recovery to serenity

12stepspace

I owe my life to alanon. If it wasnt for them I wouldnt have gotten the message of AA/NA and most likely would still be out there.

Love

Jim.

pinkie_mae

I guess my biggest concern is that my parents are going to find out about all of this and be upset with me. I moved away because of them, and sometimes, it makes me despise them.. but i can't MAKE them get help.. it has to be something they whole heartedly want to do and it hasn't been made very apparent. my whole family wants them to get help.. and they just won't. they've made it impossible to be around them because if you're not part of their social circle at their bar, you can't maintain a conversation with them. i have a hard enough time finding anything other than football to talk to my mom about.. and i haven't talked to my dad in 2 months. Unfortunately for them, I've lost a lot of respect for them through their actions which makes it hard for me to want to give them help.. but I think it shows how much I truly love my parents by going to such lengths to get help myself. My biggest fear is turning into an alcoholic [sorry if that sounded offensive]. My grandfather drinks scotch like a fish drinks water. I've found myself at home in the past drinking a gallon of vodka - by myself.. but then I get that slap in the face when they come home and i have to undress my mom and get her into bed and make sure my siblings don't hear her.

I hope that i can figure out what my parents are thinking and find better ways to help them. I've tried an intervention and it didn't work. I've taken the keys from my dad when I didn't have a license and I got a slap in the face. I've seen holes being punched in walls. I've had to run out of my house and get help in fear that my dad would punch my mom.. they fight a lot more when they're drinking heavily. I've poored the whiskey out. Which in the long run, didn't benefit me.. it only hurt me. I've been woken up in the middle of the night to make my parents drinks because they were too drunk to even know where to begin making a drink.

Sometimes, I think I need help more than they do.. then I realize I'm being selfish. I just want help for myself and help for my parents.. and I feel like I'm failing them as their daughter for not getting them help.


BTW: Did anyone see that Chicago lost today?!