Guilty
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Grand Jct CO
Posts: 33
Guilty
hi,
Am having feelings of low self esteem and self worth today. Didn't mean to drink last night- and I haven't talked to my husband at all today. I'm tired of passing out on the couch and lying.
I am so scared of having a stroke or cancer or something due to my drinking. I like all of you never wanted to be an alcoholic... and I want to get better - I really do- i know I say this and then I relapse- I started praying to God and then I quit again- I want to be happy and healthy- I want to enjoy life and my family... so I try and then I drink.... how do I get over feeling guilty... all I want to do this morning is cry...but I can't because I am at work- my eyes are red and blood shot and I look like hell.
I am so scared...
recoveryforme
Am having feelings of low self esteem and self worth today. Didn't mean to drink last night- and I haven't talked to my husband at all today. I'm tired of passing out on the couch and lying.
I am so scared of having a stroke or cancer or something due to my drinking. I like all of you never wanted to be an alcoholic... and I want to get better - I really do- i know I say this and then I relapse- I started praying to God and then I quit again- I want to be happy and healthy- I want to enjoy life and my family... so I try and then I drink.... how do I get over feeling guilty... all I want to do this morning is cry...but I can't because I am at work- my eyes are red and blood shot and I look like hell.
I am so scared...
recoveryforme
ndgrace
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: VA
Posts: 72
hi recoveryforme,
I too had some "slips", prayed for forgiveness and drank the next night. I have been told that is what alcoholics do....how to stop was another story. Someone from this web site was willing to challenge me to go to meetings, and get a sponsor. I finally did, and she has been a blessing. I had to call daily, and if it got tough , use my other phone numbers. A lot of my problem was being too focused on me, and I needed to get out of myself. I now have over 100 days, and don't feel the compulsion daily anymore. It is one day at a time, and this alcoholic needs help from AA and my higher power.
I too had some "slips", prayed for forgiveness and drank the next night. I have been told that is what alcoholics do....how to stop was another story. Someone from this web site was willing to challenge me to go to meetings, and get a sponsor. I finally did, and she has been a blessing. I had to call daily, and if it got tough , use my other phone numbers. A lot of my problem was being too focused on me, and I needed to get out of myself. I now have over 100 days, and don't feel the compulsion daily anymore. It is one day at a time, and this alcoholic needs help from AA and my higher power.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Grand Jct CO
Posts: 33
Hi,
Just went home and cleaned everthing out- all the empty wine bottles-cork screws everything- nothing in the house anymore- so please all pray for me-please I am feeling really anxious, anxiety, and panic attacks are happening. And I am scared. Please anyone who is married-and drank when there husband didn't know or found out later- tell me how you handled that and how he was able to trust you again.
I don't like the person I am becoming... Today I really HATE ME- FOR LAST NIGHT.
Recoveryforme
Just went home and cleaned everthing out- all the empty wine bottles-cork screws everything- nothing in the house anymore- so please all pray for me-please I am feeling really anxious, anxiety, and panic attacks are happening. And I am scared. Please anyone who is married-and drank when there husband didn't know or found out later- tell me how you handled that and how he was able to trust you again.
I don't like the person I am becoming... Today I really HATE ME- FOR LAST NIGHT.
Recoveryforme
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Breathe...
Inhale. Exhale. Repeat as needed...
If the panic attacks are serious, you might want to consider getting help from a physician.
Have you contacted AA in your area? My guess is that getting to a meeting would go a long way toward helping you.
It sounds like you've got a powerful emotional hangover going there. In my opinion, there's no reason to hate yourself or blame yourself for drinking. If you're alcoholic, then the cravings can be pretty powerful, overwhelming and difficult to manage on your own.
Alcoholics drink. That's what they do.
Recovering alcoholics don't drink, one day at a time. Usually they go to meetings, build a support system, find a life philosophy that doesn't include alcohol or other drugs, and help other alcoholics struggling as they once did.
Sounds better than passed out on the couch and hating yourself, no?
Inhale. Exhale. Repeat as needed...
If the panic attacks are serious, you might want to consider getting help from a physician.
Have you contacted AA in your area? My guess is that getting to a meeting would go a long way toward helping you.
It sounds like you've got a powerful emotional hangover going there. In my opinion, there's no reason to hate yourself or blame yourself for drinking. If you're alcoholic, then the cravings can be pretty powerful, overwhelming and difficult to manage on your own.
Alcoholics drink. That's what they do.
Recovering alcoholics don't drink, one day at a time. Usually they go to meetings, build a support system, find a life philosophy that doesn't include alcohol or other drugs, and help other alcoholics struggling as they once did.
Sounds better than passed out on the couch and hating yourself, no?
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