LIFEOUTTHERE

I made a huge mistake yesterday. HUGE. Yesterday was My STBXAH b'day and he called and asked me to please have lunch with him. I don't know why, but I gave in. I am still kicking myself!!!! I am still in shock from the way he acted in a public place at lunch time. OMG, I am still hiding my face. I will never be able to go back to that place EVER!!! AHHHHHH what was I thinking.

mazey

Weak moment...just a slip. Sometimes they're ok, cuz they certainly can re-enforce why we are where we are.

LIFEOUTTHERE

You got that right. After yesterday and the way he treated me in that public place reinforced everything.

He started to talk about personal things that everyone could here. I kelp asking him to keep his voice down and finally I just got up and left. I was horrified. OMG!!!

AllTooSober

Good for you for getting up and leaving!!

deax

Yeah, I agree with you guys. This particular slip taught you a valuable lesson and reinforced your will. So don't kick yourself for it; be grateful for it. Perhaps it will help you on your way.

LIFEOUTTHERE

BTW - I told him that I did not think it was a good idea for us all to go trick or treating tonight together. I offered to let him have the kids at his sisters for a couple of hours before I got off and he refused. (Offered this b/c he is drinking again and I don't want him to drive with them). That is okay I am going to take my Barbie Princess, Superman and Thomas the train trick or treating myself and we are going to have a great time after I get off work!!!

mallowcup

I'm glad this happened before Halloween, the kids are going to have a blast. I bet they will be adorable! If there was going to be an embarrassing confrontation, I'm glad it wasn't tonight in front of the kids. I think when they want to pressure us, they get us in public or in front of the kids. Good for you walking out. Didn't that feel good?

denny57

It wasn't a huge mistake. You made a normal assumption - treat someone well on their birthday. Sometimes it's hard to remember what the disease does to people. You did good by walking out of a situation you told him you would not stay for.

Have fun tonight. Your children will have happy memories.

LIFEOUTTHERE

It did feel great to let him know that I was not going to take that from him. It felt good to smile at him tell him happy birthday and walk out the door with my head held high. I let the kids call him last night so they could tell him happy birthday, when he ask to talk to me he was told that I was unable to come to the phone.

After yesterday I know that I am doing the right thing. My kids are better. They have all gained weight. My daughter has gone from a 4t to a 6 since we left. My baby has gained at least 7 pounds and my middle son has stopped the shaking fits that he was having. I feel good too. We went to our fall festival at church on Sunday night and I won a cake, like I really need it, we roasted hot dogs and went on a hay ride. I actually had a great time. I have missed spending time with normal people.

parentrecovers

At least you are able to recognize how stupid the behaivor is - that seems HUGE to me! Good for you for walking away - powerful message to YOU and your A. Thanks for sharing, K

StandingStrong

Sometimes the biggest lessons we learn are from the mistakes that we make.
Sometimes I believe that I have been given reminders for a reason - as my mind tends to forget reality. Sometimes, it's moments like the one that you described that have given me the most growth. Often times, I've wished I could bottle the emotion that I felt at the time to keep me strong enough to not allow myself to put myself in a position like that again.

However, you did okay, so don't beat yourself up. You did something nice by going out for his birthday and you did something nice for yourself by not allowing him to continue to treat you the way that he was!

mallowcup

This wasn't a mistake, it was a measure. See how little time it takes to become intolerant to it? There was time you'd have sat there. You are in a good place. He's still thinking he's going to suck you backward. How likely is it you'll be having lunch with him again? He probably thinks you left because you are so in love with him, you were overcome. He probably thinks what he said made all the love come rushing back.

reader

I think it is great that u are making the kids top on your list! They sound like they are doing much better, the weight gain alone shows that they were nervous. Keep up the good work u held ur head high and kept on keeping on! Way to go Lady!!!!

LIFEOUTTHERE

I don't see myself having lunch with him. EVER!

As far as love is concerned - I feel no love for him at all. NOTHING
He ask me why I cannot tell him that I love him. He tells me he loves me still with all his heart and that I am killing him b/c I cannot tell him I love him. I don't love him. After the way he has treated me I am not even sure I much like him. Why tell him I love him and lead him on. I have made it very clear to him that I am not stopping the divorce, but he said he is still holding on to that hope. I cannot let this man touch me ever again, and I am not sure I ever want another man in my life.

WE ARE DOING GREAT ON OUR OWN!!!