sunwish

AH just walked through the door and said he crashed his truck in the woods. He couldnt get it out. So then 20 min later the police come to the door because they were down there looking in the woods for him. They could have arrested him for leaving the scene and they could smell the alcohol on his breath. He is saying he needs help...that he needs to stop...then in the next breath he is saying that he needs to slow down (drinking)....my wings are not growing fast enough!

BohemiMamaof3

Sometimes these crisis circumstances are a good time to encourage a treatment plan or facility. Sometimes it is a bottom for the Alcoholic and they are more receptive, you can't (well they can - but it's nonsense!) argue with the concrete evidence of an out of control life & addiction when there is a smashed up truck and some police officers knocking at the door.

StandingStrong

I wish you great strength. I hope that you see the opportunities that are in front of you to practice detaching and allow him to deal with the circumstances of his own action on his own and not take it upon yourself to control this. This is one of those things that belong to him, not you.

Hope you hang in there and keep in mind that you didn't cause this, you can't control it and you can't cure it.

mallowcup

Just another day in paradise! Gads! They realy need trouble they can't walk away from of Bs their way out of. This could be a blessing in diguise. Let us know what comes of it.

sunwish

So here is the update.

He charged the $490 to pick up his truck and then $250 to get a rental car. I was very angry about the rental and let him know it. (he also lost a days pay today and the truck is at the repair shop now). I think he was too ashamed to ask anyone for a ride to work. I had already made an appointment with a bankruptcy lawyer so I let him know about that when I was upset. I am glad it has come out though, holding everything back was getting difficult. He knows that after there are no more financial reasons for us to stay together that it is over. I did not disagree with him when he mentioned that. (I did not tell him that I saw a divorce lawyer 2 weeks ago). The truck in the woods was just another reassurance for me that I am doing the right thing. I have a very long road ahead but I have started on the path. Thanks!

mallowcup

I think that it's awesome that if you were unsure, now you are sure. It's easier to do what needs doing when you are convicted about it. Square one can be a beautiful place.