Alcoholics don't like to be told what to do?

Old 03-20-2003, 01:21 PM
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Alcoholics don't like to be told what to do?

My son who just recently admitted to being an alcoholic and has admitted himself into an inpatient program told me that Alcoholics don't like to be told what to do. I didn't respond because I am not sure if thats a general rule that he heard in AA or if it is just my son who doesn't like being told what to do.

Does anyone know if this is a general rule?

Thank you
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Old 03-20-2003, 01:45 PM
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told anything

Hi D Mom,
In my experience alcoholics don't like to be told ANYTHING! mine gets very arrogant and somewhat arguementative.Just last night I started a conversation and nothing I said was right.That's when I just say goodnight and leave the room.
However,kids in general ,always seem to think they know everything lol.
I'm not much help,am I...Good Luck and God Bless
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Old 03-20-2003, 01:59 PM
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Exclamation Don't Tell Me What To Do !

I know that from my own stand point, I hate being told what to do. I am a recovering alcoholic. I have approx 20months dry and still don't like it.

Think of it this way: AA and NA says you don't have to do anything. Even the steps are only considered to be suggestions. In NA, it also says if you do not follow the suggested steps, the end is always the same, "jails, institutions and death!" Don't be frightened by this part of the program. For myself, this helps me knowing, I don't have to do anything, but look what may happen if I don't do anything. I am given a choice. I chose to follow recovery to the best of my ability.

If my wife ASKS me to do something, I may do it (probably will). If she TELLS me to do something, I won't.

Hope this helps.

Gotta Run.

Talk Later.

Still In The Dumps -- Recovery IS Possible !
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Old 03-20-2003, 02:23 PM
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JT
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I am not an alcoholic and I don't like being told what to do.

Part of my alanon program and something I say way to much on these boards is that there are no rights or wrongs. What is right for me may be a horror to you.

When I came to the program I did do what I was told because what I was already doing wasn't working. But that was from the people in my program and my sponsor. It was a choice I made. I did not do what I was told by my family.

Perhaps your son is suggesting that you allow him to do it his way. That is after all how he will do it in the end.

Hugs,
JT
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Old 03-20-2003, 02:45 PM
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they will break a leg doing the opposite thing you tell them

if you tell me I can`t do something,i`ll go to heck and back to prove ya wrong
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Old 03-20-2003, 02:48 PM
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I never liked being told what to do...still don't..lol.

But when my disease had me beaten enough,I became very willing to follow the suggestions.The Steps are suggested in the same sense that if you jump out of an airplane,it's suggested that you use a parachute


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Old 03-20-2003, 03:39 PM
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D Mom

My son is the same and I try to live and let live. The only exception is when he is in MY house. Then I RULE!!!!
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Old 03-20-2003, 04:05 PM
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I have to echo JT here. Do YOU like to be told what to do? Who does? Is that suddenly special? What other special treatment would he like today?

Please pardon me. I just left a rehearsal where the cast members were obviously stoned and I just want to slap faces right now. Gaaaaaaaaaggggghhhh! It just makes everything take so loooooooong.
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Old 03-20-2003, 09:46 PM
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D MOM,
It seems to me that an alcoholic holds in his/her heart so much shame... IF they KNOW and admit to the disease. They are painfully aware of "right from wrong"; they KNOW it will kill them eventually, yet their "demon" tells them they have to use just to survive. Can you imagine? And through it all, the people who love them just keep telling them they HAVE to stop. We remind them time and time again of the horrible things they do, and how much they are hurting us... And we keep demanding they stop. Perhaps we even give them ultimatiums. So, it is with this thought that it does not surprise me that alcoholics don't like being told what to do; because they probably feel that they simply cannot do it at all.
Take care,
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Old 03-21-2003, 04:06 AM
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My hubby hates to be told what to do and probably won't if I don't ask or carefully word my request, but on the flip side of that I can't stand for someone to tell me what to do either. Generally I won't whatever it is either. As you might imagine our children generally don't respond well to "orders" either!

So I wouldn't say it was an alcoholic thing, because there are lots of us that aren't addicts and don't like to be told what to do!
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Old 03-21-2003, 06:50 AM
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Thank you all for the great insight! I enjoyed reading all the responses it has helped clear thing up for me. Thanks again for always being there for me.
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