recoveryforme

Hi all,
Thanks again for listening to me. I have gone 24 hours without drinking- going on day 2- I am still feeling guilty and sad for the way I acted on Saturday night.
My friend has not emailed me, so I guess she is upset and put out with me. I can't blame her- it wasn't nice of me to leave her by herself- and then my husbands friend's wife was talking to me- and I can't remember what we talked about- I know she kept telling me that she was ready to kick her husband out- she doesn't drink, but her husband does- like I say I can't remember- and now I'm afraid that whatever I might of said will get back to my husband.. I feel so low today- and sad- I truly messed up this time and so afraid that I can't make things right this time- I'm scared- I don't want to lose my husband or my kids- or my friendship for that matter- but I feel as though I am - losing everything. [U]What have the rest of you done, when you have done something terribly wrong, due to drinking? If anyone has any [U]advice or can email me back- I would truly appreciate it. Life is way too short and I keep screwing up- and I want to be a better person. I love my family and my friends- I am tired of leading a secret life of hiding bottles from my family and buying booze when the money should be going for something else.
I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything much better- but the fact is, I can't and thats what makes this all the harder. My daughter even said I called her the other night while I was drunk- and she said that she didn't want me to drink when she has friends coming over- and that gave me a real eye opener- it is affecting my children too.
How do you make it one day at a time, and not think about drinking? I had coffee yesterday, and made a pitcher of tea- and I actually was able to watch my favorite sunday tv shows without being drunk- and I woke up this morning with a clear head and a rested heart.
Well I feel as though I am rambling- but please how do I put my family first a gain?
I love them alot- and I am scared and hurting.
thanks all for listening,
recoveryforme

Krys_wyo

I was at the brink of losing my family, my husband was gonna leave and take the kids from my dumb drunk a$$, i had to choose right then and there...........drinking or my family, it wasnt a hard choice and i dont regret it.
I have been sober since june 16th, I just did it i had to.
One day at a time is hard but each morning it is well worth the fight i had to put up the day before.
I regret alot of things i have said or done when drinking and i think of that stuff when the urge to drink hits me.
Just do it......it is truly a choice you will never regret making.
Good Luck and keep posting it helps alot to know you are not alone in your fight.
(((((((((((hugs and prayers))))))))
Krys

splendra

Hey there-

I believe you could make a few phone calls and let the people know you regret your behavior of the other night. Be brief and ask for forgiveness and maybe tell them you are working on getting yourself straightened out maybe ask them to say a prayer for you too...

Krys_wyo

And making amends will come eventually dont rush into that yet, you need to be sober awhile before you take that step, you need to heal first.

laurience

I think you took the 1st step and that is not drinking. I rememer feeling low so often and paranoid about what I said or did. Thankfully, my friends forgave me. All you can do is sincerely apologize and if you have left a msg. doing so than wait till he/she calls you back and try not to obsess about it. As for your family, your biggest favour to them will be seeing you sober. Best of luck and try doing something that will make you feel better. It soooo doesn't help to beat ourselves up. It doesn't help the recovery process. It is not you, it is the booze and today you are sober so celebrate and give your daughter a big hug.
Joanne

requiredfield

For me, my sobriety comes first, and everything else comes after that. For without my sobriety, I can lose everything. I'm sorry for what happened this weekend, I've definately been there.

I go to meetings. I ask for help. I work the program of AA exactly the way it's laid out. When I started I made a commitment to do ANYTHING to stay away from that first drink. And today, one day at a time, I do the very same thing. I might "think" about alchohol every now and again, but I have no desire to drink today. And that's coming from someone whose life revolved around it.

You can express your apologies I believe, but in my case, my family doesn't need to hear I'm sorry they need to see me change and show them I'm sober and constantly working on becoming the person I strive to be.

Hang in there...
Anna

Arura

For me making amends is were im at at the moment and will be for a long time....!

I means for me ,...saying sorry and meaning it,..it my mum n children,...and tring to be the best person i can be for them ,...when they are ready,...!
It means going that extra mile , to get what is right done,...!

But over time it shows ,...it not instant results,...not for me anyhooo,...!
But a change will happen if i try in the right part of my life to do the best i can...!

Im desparately trying to make amends with my mum...!..... Hummm...~!

nelle4

Day 2 for me, too, and I'm still ashamed of my behavior Saturday night. I could have drowned in my hot tub and had my poor daughter find me there Sunday morning. I'll hang in there with you, RFM. I know I never want to feel as bad as I did yesterday again.

Sugah

The last thing anyone wanted to hear from me when I made the decision to stop was, "I'm sorry." They'd heard it so many times in the past. It meant nothing anymore.

I went to AA and found that "amends making" was step nine, not one. By the time I had worked the other steps and got things right with myself, enough time had elapsed that I was able to admit my wrongs in such a way, and had enough sobriety under my belt, that to most of the people I had hurt, my words and deeds meant something. They saw I was truly trying to change.

You asked how we do it one day at a time. Well, this recovering drunk/druggie does it with the program of AA. I tried every other way I could conceive, every other way that was suggested to me, and AA was the only thing I found that worked. I'm not saying that it's the only answer, just my only answer. If you find "one day at a time" to be too much for you, why not check it out?

Peace & Love,
Sugah