Introducing myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 8
Introducing myself
Hi all,
I hope this is the place where I'm supposed to post my intro.
My DH & I have been married for 18 years and together for 21. He's been an alcoholic the entire time, but it ebbs and flows over time. The past few months the drinking has increased, but he's been behaving better, if that makes sense.
Right now, I feel pretty much at peace with it, because he's been talking more openly about it and acknowledging how severe his problem is.
He's agreed (and is even eager) to start taking Antabuse, so that gives me a measure of hope for the future. I really hope it works! He's not open to AA at all. From time to time he'll agree to go, but he never actually makes it there!
I decided years ago that I was going to stay with him pretty much no matter what (except if he became abusive). And for the most part, we're happy together, I'd say. I guess you'd call what I do detachment. I try to detach from his problem and live my life in spite of it. Sometimes, I can't though. It is hard at times and it goes in cycles. Sometimes I'm in despair and sometimes everything seems pretty good.
I'm so glad to find this board and I've learned a lot reading the posts by alcoholics. It's hard to understand where my DH is coming from, but reading their stories gives me a bit more understanding, I think.
Lesliea
I hope this is the place where I'm supposed to post my intro.
My DH & I have been married for 18 years and together for 21. He's been an alcoholic the entire time, but it ebbs and flows over time. The past few months the drinking has increased, but he's been behaving better, if that makes sense.
Right now, I feel pretty much at peace with it, because he's been talking more openly about it and acknowledging how severe his problem is.
He's agreed (and is even eager) to start taking Antabuse, so that gives me a measure of hope for the future. I really hope it works! He's not open to AA at all. From time to time he'll agree to go, but he never actually makes it there!
I decided years ago that I was going to stay with him pretty much no matter what (except if he became abusive). And for the most part, we're happy together, I'd say. I guess you'd call what I do detachment. I try to detach from his problem and live my life in spite of it. Sometimes, I can't though. It is hard at times and it goes in cycles. Sometimes I'm in despair and sometimes everything seems pretty good.
I'm so glad to find this board and I've learned a lot reading the posts by alcoholics. It's hard to understand where my DH is coming from, but reading their stories gives me a bit more understanding, I think.
Lesliea
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Hi,
I am glad you found us. There are many here on this forum who have alot of experience, strength and hope to share. I recommend that you take a look at the stickys at the top of the forum page.
Have you ever tried Alanon for yourself?
I look forward to you being a part of SR!
Welcome! Don't forget that you are not alone.
I am glad you found us. There are many here on this forum who have alot of experience, strength and hope to share. I recommend that you take a look at the stickys at the top of the forum page.
Have you ever tried Alanon for yourself?
I look forward to you being a part of SR!
Welcome! Don't forget that you are not alone.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
Welcome to SR. I look forward to hearing more from you. It does seem overwhelming at first when you start looking for info, there is so much to read. but in doing so, you're bound to find tools that can make your life so much better.
As cmc recommended, I hope you'll check out the "Stickies" at the top of the forum. Excellent reading there.
As cmc recommended, I hope you'll check out the "Stickies" at the top of the forum. Excellent reading there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: nor cal
Posts: 113
Welcome, you have found a great place.
Just wanted to share my experience with the Ah in my life using antabuse.
First of all our Dr. explained that their is no magic bullet (in pill form)
Quitting alcohol is a entire life changing event.
Alcoholics sometimes look to someone or something else to do all the work.
Just because they take that pill doesn't mean it changes there life, it is kind of just a band aid.
It is good he is realizing he has a problem, it just might take more work on his part down the road.
Just wanted to share my experience with the Ah in my life using antabuse.
First of all our Dr. explained that their is no magic bullet (in pill form)
Quitting alcohol is a entire life changing event.
Alcoholics sometimes look to someone or something else to do all the work.
Just because they take that pill doesn't mean it changes there life, it is kind of just a band aid.
It is good he is realizing he has a problem, it just might take more work on his part down the road.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Welcome to SR... Glad that you found us.
I know many women that have made the decision to stay with their Alcoholic husband today.... the key I think is "for today" and not try to guess what will happen in the future... also that does not committ you to a lifetime when you cant know what that life will be. Helps keep the guilt at bay in case one day you decide something different.
Unfortunally Alcoholism is a progressive disease, so for me I had to get help in learning how to deal with it all.... its not natural for me. In my last relationship with an alcoholic I became just as sick as he was, when I look back I can honestly say Im very embarrased by my actions. What has worked for me is Al-anon, Theraphy, SR and reading/learning everything I can about the disease, Open AA meetings helped too.
I look forward to getting to know you, pull up a chair and start on your new journey.
I know many women that have made the decision to stay with their Alcoholic husband today.... the key I think is "for today" and not try to guess what will happen in the future... also that does not committ you to a lifetime when you cant know what that life will be. Helps keep the guilt at bay in case one day you decide something different.
Unfortunally Alcoholism is a progressive disease, so for me I had to get help in learning how to deal with it all.... its not natural for me. In my last relationship with an alcoholic I became just as sick as he was, when I look back I can honestly say Im very embarrased by my actions. What has worked for me is Al-anon, Theraphy, SR and reading/learning everything I can about the disease, Open AA meetings helped too.
I look forward to getting to know you, pull up a chair and start on your new journey.
Caring for the 3 little bears
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Oz
Posts: 509
welcome! you will find many with similar stories. Some choose to stay and detach, some choose to go, some choose to stay and not detach! My way may not be the right way for someone else! Sounds like you could be a big help to some of us who struggle with detaching.
So glad you have found this place!
So glad you have found this place!
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