New to SR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 2
New to SR
Hi everyone!
I just recently found this forum and have been reading through several of the posts.
I have been in Al Anon for a little over 6 months. What I have experienced has been a life changing event for me and my family. My exhusband is a recovering A, but didn't seek sobriety until a couple of years after our divorce. My current husband is an active A and even though he admits that he is 'probably' an alcoholic says he has no plans of changing.
I was a crazy, angry wife and mother for most of our marriage until at my wits end started the proceedings for divorce. Sitting at my computer one night I remembered something my aunt had told me over a year ago. She said 'when you get to the end and are ready for help look up Al Anon.' So I did. At first I thought 'well this must be the place people go to so they can learn how to make the A quit drinking' I was shocked and very mad when someone told me that I was sick and need help for me. Imagine! ME sick??? No way, I thought, he is the cause of ALL of our problems. But still curiuos at this serenity thing I kept going. Long story short I have learned so many things about myself and alcoholism as a family disease that I never knew before. So many things have changed in our family even though AH is still drinking. I am happier and my kids are happier now that mom is a better mom. I am finding peace and my husband couldn't be more confused.
I can't wait to meet new friends here. I am so glad I found this forum.
I just recently found this forum and have been reading through several of the posts.
I have been in Al Anon for a little over 6 months. What I have experienced has been a life changing event for me and my family. My exhusband is a recovering A, but didn't seek sobriety until a couple of years after our divorce. My current husband is an active A and even though he admits that he is 'probably' an alcoholic says he has no plans of changing.
I was a crazy, angry wife and mother for most of our marriage until at my wits end started the proceedings for divorce. Sitting at my computer one night I remembered something my aunt had told me over a year ago. She said 'when you get to the end and are ready for help look up Al Anon.' So I did. At first I thought 'well this must be the place people go to so they can learn how to make the A quit drinking' I was shocked and very mad when someone told me that I was sick and need help for me. Imagine! ME sick??? No way, I thought, he is the cause of ALL of our problems. But still curiuos at this serenity thing I kept going. Long story short I have learned so many things about myself and alcoholism as a family disease that I never knew before. So many things have changed in our family even though AH is still drinking. I am happier and my kids are happier now that mom is a better mom. I am finding peace and my husband couldn't be more confused.
I can't wait to meet new friends here. I am so glad I found this forum.
Welcome Welcome!
Royalty
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
Originally Posted by backfromnowhere
even though AH is still drinking. I am happier and my kids are happier now that mom is a better mom. I am finding peace and my husband couldn't be more confused.
I am still laughing. That was great! That's about where I am too, AH still drinking, I am getting better for myself, and it is making the kids much happier......I couldn't have said it better!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: SF, CA
Posts: 28
It has taken me YEARS to come to terms with the fact that I need recovery.... for the longest time, I felt so bitter about that.... why should *I* need a program when *his* behavior is the problem??? (Never mind that I went out of one alcoholic relationship right into an alcoholic marriage... ahem....)
I'm finally to a place where I realize that recovery is definitely something I need -- whether or not this marriage survives. I see so clearly where my familial dynamics set me up to walk right into this marriage blindly.... and now I am ready to work to get free of that. I didn't come from an alcoholic family, but I did come from one where the love and sanity were intermittent and unpredictable, and my mother was largely unavailable a good portion of the time, very blaming, etc. So, of course I ended up in a marriage that replicated that dynamic perfectly. Sigh.
I'm finally to a place where I realize that recovery is definitely something I need -- whether or not this marriage survives. I see so clearly where my familial dynamics set me up to walk right into this marriage blindly.... and now I am ready to work to get free of that. I didn't come from an alcoholic family, but I did come from one where the love and sanity were intermittent and unpredictable, and my mother was largely unavailable a good portion of the time, very blaming, etc. So, of course I ended up in a marriage that replicated that dynamic perfectly. Sigh.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
I think that many people come to Alanon looking for answers and find that the answers they find have been there all along - within themselves. I, too, like you didn't realize just what role I played in the dance and how much my own thinking was skewered. It's definately been an interesting journey for myself and I'm sure it will be for you as well.
Welcome to SR, I am looking forward to hearing more from you as you continue on your journey to serenity and a happier life.
Welcome to SR, I am looking forward to hearing more from you as you continue on your journey to serenity and a happier life.
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