iceteaplease

Hi all,

Well, it has been a few days since my last post. I have held up my end of the "bargain", and even took my AH out for a lovely date on Friday night. Thought things were all better. What a fool I am. He started drinking yesterday...no apparent trigger; we had had a good day together. Totally hungover and nasty this morning. I just found him in a neighborhood bar with probably the second pint of vodka in front of him, in really bad shape. I just asked him what time he would be home and said goodbye.

I guess that is the answer to my question.

However difficult it will be on my own, it will be better than this hell.

TexasGirl

Well, at least you can walk away knowing you did what you could. (((IT)))

mazey

Sorry, but you had to try, even one more thing. Hurtful, disappointing, but you can come away from it and be okay, prolly even a little better

denny57

Don't beat yourself up about it. You did your absolute best.

Take care of you and all else will fall into place. Trust that.

Good luck ((()))

prodigal

I'm sorry this happened to you. The problem with bargains is that A's don't generally hold up their end. I tried the bargaining deal myself and had that idea blow up in my face. They pretty much do what they want to do. My AH gets drunk every Sunday. Period. No trigger. Just as Sunday is a day of rest for many of us and/or a day of worship so it is for my AH. He "rests" by passing out then coming to in order to worship and pay homage to his bottle. Don't be hard on yourself. You simply have to come to grips with the fact that you have no control whatsoever over an alcoholic's drinking.

Kywoman

Sometimes, I really feel like they tell ya what ya want to hear. They don't really mean it and if they do, it is only for the moment.

I do think that many people reach a point where they just detach so much from being hurt that eventually they are simply done.

marriedithink

Not a fool, a loving person. Don't be hard on yourself.
And don't be surprised when there are times to come when you'll feel again like it will be different. You'll want to believe, and you won't be a fool then either. Just human.

I started beating myself up this weekend, my old habits. I snapped out of it thankfully but it's a process. I filed almost two months ago, it's been over for quite a while. He has been on a bender basically for months. He has changed nothing and I don't expect him to. I am moving on. But he came around this weekend sober (that day) being very loving asking for another chance, spinning his web. I started to feel sorry for him. I felt so sad all day yesterday. he mad me feel guilty. I realized what had happened, but it was just that easy for him to get to me. I didn't let him know he had, and I had to talk myself down and remind myself of all the reasons I was so unhappy in that relationship but it is difficult. I don't think the desire to believe ever goes away. When you love someone, the instinct is to believe them.

mazey

'the instinct is to believe them'. I understand that...Why can't we learn that in these cases, we can't listen to instinct! We need to use experience! Hard...