Feel like I am the only one that knows.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 261
Feel like I am the only one that knows.
Well I have been posting here for about 2 weeks now and I will say that I am much stronger than I was back then and I have been taking care of myself and feel better ,but one issue still keeps on bothering me. I am afraid that no one else(including his parents and friends or roommates) will go through and see all the craziness that I saw. My xabf is a very sweet person. He does not have a temper or pretty much a mean bone in his body(quiet guy) where I on the other hand have quite a bit of temper-though I believe for the most part that I am a good person. I guess the reason that this bothers me is because everytime I talk to him or hear through a friend how he is doing it sounds as though there was never anything wrong with him!!!!( He is not drinking as heavily, holding a steady job and planning on going back to school). I know that it was not our relationship that caused it but People are going to think that it had something to do with me and him not being happy. He told me last time that we talked that he felt as though he thinks that the reason he was drinking so much was that he was subconciosly trying to ruin our relationship. I know that is bs but no one else does. I am the one that wanted to leave him a few months ago and he pleaded with me not too and he was the one that asked me what kind of engagement ring I wanted and then does not remember asking me that( he was not drinking when he asked me that.) I guess I am just so angry because everything that is coming out of his mouth is bs. I have been told by you guys to ignore it but I just get so angry when I think about it because it is all crap.
Another thing is now he is saying that he is ok when a couple of weeks ago he was saying that he knows that eventually he will have to surrender to AA. Do alcoholics go through stages of denial and acceptance?. I just do not understand. I want to pick his brain and see how he thinks. I guess I just don't want to believe that he drank because he was unhappy with me. I thought what we had was good and I never thought that he drank because he was unhappy in the relationship -just thought that he was an alcoholic.
I am not perfect by any means but I consider myself a good person but I guess I still keep on thinking about my anger toward him at times. I fight below the belt almost to the point that I seem crazy. There are too many situations to name where I went crazy and screamed and yelled and beat him into the ground.(mentally!!!) I wanted him to feel the pain and anger that i was feeling and I got to the point where I really was so exhausted dealing with all the lies and the drunken nights and the loss of the jobs and etc.... the list could go on forever.
I just keep on focusing on my anger. I guess that I hate that about me and it is something I can work on but I have been told by him that I need to be more positive about things and not hit below the belt when I fight. I don't want him to remember me like that even though he should be the one worried about what i think of him. I think that he partly has me believing that maybe I was not the best girl to be around at times but neither was he the best bf at times. I am a good girl that can be so positive, fun loving and happy if I had not had to live with something like alcoholism. He has told me that he knows I am a good person but I want him to say that he is to blame for the relationship ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He keeps on throwing it back in my face that I was the one that finally ended for good. Yes that is true only for the fact that he was not showing any progress toward fixing his life and now he is and everyone is going to forget what he used to be except for me!!! I guess I should be happy that he is doing better but apart of me wanted others to really experience the person that he was behind closed doors.. Totally different and no one saw that but me!!!!!! He can go on and act like he is not an alcoholic.
Another thing is now he is saying that he is ok when a couple of weeks ago he was saying that he knows that eventually he will have to surrender to AA. Do alcoholics go through stages of denial and acceptance?. I just do not understand. I want to pick his brain and see how he thinks. I guess I just don't want to believe that he drank because he was unhappy with me. I thought what we had was good and I never thought that he drank because he was unhappy in the relationship -just thought that he was an alcoholic.
I am not perfect by any means but I consider myself a good person but I guess I still keep on thinking about my anger toward him at times. I fight below the belt almost to the point that I seem crazy. There are too many situations to name where I went crazy and screamed and yelled and beat him into the ground.(mentally!!!) I wanted him to feel the pain and anger that i was feeling and I got to the point where I really was so exhausted dealing with all the lies and the drunken nights and the loss of the jobs and etc.... the list could go on forever.
I just keep on focusing on my anger. I guess that I hate that about me and it is something I can work on but I have been told by him that I need to be more positive about things and not hit below the belt when I fight. I don't want him to remember me like that even though he should be the one worried about what i think of him. I think that he partly has me believing that maybe I was not the best girl to be around at times but neither was he the best bf at times. I am a good girl that can be so positive, fun loving and happy if I had not had to live with something like alcoholism. He has told me that he knows I am a good person but I want him to say that he is to blame for the relationship ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He keeps on throwing it back in my face that I was the one that finally ended for good. Yes that is true only for the fact that he was not showing any progress toward fixing his life and now he is and everyone is going to forget what he used to be except for me!!! I guess I should be happy that he is doing better but apart of me wanted others to really experience the person that he was behind closed doors.. Totally different and no one saw that but me!!!!!! He can go on and act like he is not an alcoholic.
Always hopeful...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 429
I think every one wants validation for the good we provided in a relationship. But, remember "it takes 2 to tango"....even tho he brought his disease into the relationship, it affected you too. Dwelling on who was right or wrong or how much good or bad, is keeping a measure, and it just don't work. REALLY, why does it make a difference? Be true to yourself and that is all that counts. Most of the time what matters alot to us, does not make a spitten' difference to any one else, eg. who did what in the relationship. Just begin to close that door and move onto an easier life where you will find a healthy relationship, then.....let "them" figure it all out. Actions....louder than words!
Even matters in OUR lives, hon. You're getting better.....remember, focus on you. Good for you to get it out tho, it will make you feel better. And remember to re-read it yourself to recognize the problems you faced.
Even matters in OUR lives, hon. You're getting better.....remember, focus on you. Good for you to get it out tho, it will make you feel better. And remember to re-read it yourself to recognize the problems you faced.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 240
Designer,
Feeling or being rejected in my relationship made me angry and I reacted to that anger. I still react with anger at times but am getting better (at least I'd like to think). I too used to be worried about what other people thought about me when AB (now AH) broke up with me. All his friends and family (all heavy drinkers) thought it was the best thing he could've done for himself. They didn't see or acknowledge all that I had done for him, they just remembered the times I went off on him for this or that. I USED to LET what people thought of me or how they treated me affect what I thought about myself. As you can imagine, I didn't feel real good about myself and continue to struggle with learning to love who I am and believe that I AM good enough for this world. Obsessing, as I think I've said before was a full time job for me. I would rehash incident's in my head over and over again to prove to myself that it wasn't all me or that I wasn't that crazy. Once, I started focusing on myself, attending alanon, posting here at SR, and doing lots of reading and therapy I realized I was acting crazy!!!!!! The disease had made me crazy too!!!!!!!!!!!!
I slowly started taking my life back and giving his life back to him. He wasn't too happy about that as it forced him to be responsible for himself and his actions with no one there to pick up the pieces of the messes he'd made and continues to make. Ty hard not to allow yourself to waste one more minute worrying about what he or others think of you. You can't change what other people think but you can change how you think, feel and act. He's trying to turn the tables around to make everying your fault......a classic almost necessary thing A's do in order to keep up the denial they choose to live in.
My AH would admit he was A and then go out and by a 12pk, said it wasn't that bad or he would only do it on weekends blah blah blah. He NEVER truly ACCEPTED that he was an A because that would make cause for some action on his part, action he was not ready or willing to take. Obsessing, worrying about what or who was talking about me or what or why he did what he did wasted so much of my precious time. I wish I would've known about SR or started attending alanon back then for my own peace and serenity, but for me the disease affected me so bad (codependant) I lived in my own self created bubble of denial just as he lived in his denial. I still get very angry, resentfull but I'm learning how to recognize when I'm reacting in unhealthy ways... that for me is real progress. The most important thing I've learned to do is not to be so hard on myself and to take what comes one day at a time. Have you attended any alanon meetings?? They helped me tremendously.
Feeling or being rejected in my relationship made me angry and I reacted to that anger. I still react with anger at times but am getting better (at least I'd like to think). I too used to be worried about what other people thought about me when AB (now AH) broke up with me. All his friends and family (all heavy drinkers) thought it was the best thing he could've done for himself. They didn't see or acknowledge all that I had done for him, they just remembered the times I went off on him for this or that. I USED to LET what people thought of me or how they treated me affect what I thought about myself. As you can imagine, I didn't feel real good about myself and continue to struggle with learning to love who I am and believe that I AM good enough for this world. Obsessing, as I think I've said before was a full time job for me. I would rehash incident's in my head over and over again to prove to myself that it wasn't all me or that I wasn't that crazy. Once, I started focusing on myself, attending alanon, posting here at SR, and doing lots of reading and therapy I realized I was acting crazy!!!!!! The disease had made me crazy too!!!!!!!!!!!!
I slowly started taking my life back and giving his life back to him. He wasn't too happy about that as it forced him to be responsible for himself and his actions with no one there to pick up the pieces of the messes he'd made and continues to make. Ty hard not to allow yourself to waste one more minute worrying about what he or others think of you. You can't change what other people think but you can change how you think, feel and act. He's trying to turn the tables around to make everying your fault......a classic almost necessary thing A's do in order to keep up the denial they choose to live in.
My AH would admit he was A and then go out and by a 12pk, said it wasn't that bad or he would only do it on weekends blah blah blah. He NEVER truly ACCEPTED that he was an A because that would make cause for some action on his part, action he was not ready or willing to take. Obsessing, worrying about what or who was talking about me or what or why he did what he did wasted so much of my precious time. I wish I would've known about SR or started attending alanon back then for my own peace and serenity, but for me the disease affected me so bad (codependant) I lived in my own self created bubble of denial just as he lived in his denial. I still get very angry, resentfull but I'm learning how to recognize when I'm reacting in unhealthy ways... that for me is real progress. The most important thing I've learned to do is not to be so hard on myself and to take what comes one day at a time. Have you attended any alanon meetings?? They helped me tremendously.
Royalty
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
I think my situation is close to yours. My AH is two different people, one in front of others and one at home, drunk. The "outsiders" think that I am the problem, because that's what he tells them, and he doesn't show his a$$ in front of them. That includes his family, most of the time. On the few occassions that he did get out of control in front of them, he justified himself quite well (A's are very very good manipulaters remember), and because they are not used to seeing this behavior daily, they excused it.
On one of our last arguements, (I guess it wasn't really an arguement if I didn't say anything), he ranted and accused me of many awful things, kept going until he was mad enough to leave. When he went to his mother's house, she was immediately preparing a room for him. I made the mistake of going looking for him, and ended up at his parent's house. He met me in the driveway with even more reasons of why I was such a horrible person, and the one thing that stuck in my mind, he told me that his mother said "I don't think she (me) is treating my son very well!" This is the same woman that three months before this, told ME that she was afraid that AH might be an alcoholic like his three uncles.
I guess my point is that it "shouldn't" matter what others think, but I know that it still hurts. I don't confide much in his family any more as a result, and my MIL even asked AH if I was mad at her. I am not mad at anyone, but have really given up explaining my side of things. I am not as good at manipulating as AH and never will be. I think that the only people that really understand, are the people on here. We all have something in common. Every single story printed here relates to almost everyone here. It's as if we are living parallel lives. I read some stories and have to check if I wrote that post or not.
Honestly, if one of my friends would have come to me talking about their husband being an alcoholic ten years ago, I don't think that I had any information on it, and would not have been of any help. I'm sure I could have listened, but I don't think I would have truely understood - the same as the people around me now. My own family shakes their head yes, and says, "we always thought he had to have a drink" but then turns right around and offers AH a beer when we visit. They just don't know, and are not capable of helping without any information. I am slowing informing my family of the "real" circumstances but in no way do I expect them to really "get it". The people here "get it" , have "lived it" and truely understand "it".
On one of our last arguements, (I guess it wasn't really an arguement if I didn't say anything), he ranted and accused me of many awful things, kept going until he was mad enough to leave. When he went to his mother's house, she was immediately preparing a room for him. I made the mistake of going looking for him, and ended up at his parent's house. He met me in the driveway with even more reasons of why I was such a horrible person, and the one thing that stuck in my mind, he told me that his mother said "I don't think she (me) is treating my son very well!" This is the same woman that three months before this, told ME that she was afraid that AH might be an alcoholic like his three uncles.
I guess my point is that it "shouldn't" matter what others think, but I know that it still hurts. I don't confide much in his family any more as a result, and my MIL even asked AH if I was mad at her. I am not mad at anyone, but have really given up explaining my side of things. I am not as good at manipulating as AH and never will be. I think that the only people that really understand, are the people on here. We all have something in common. Every single story printed here relates to almost everyone here. It's as if we are living parallel lives. I read some stories and have to check if I wrote that post or not.
Honestly, if one of my friends would have come to me talking about their husband being an alcoholic ten years ago, I don't think that I had any information on it, and would not have been of any help. I'm sure I could have listened, but I don't think I would have truely understood - the same as the people around me now. My own family shakes their head yes, and says, "we always thought he had to have a drink" but then turns right around and offers AH a beer when we visit. They just don't know, and are not capable of helping without any information. I am slowing informing my family of the "real" circumstances but in no way do I expect them to really "get it". The people here "get it" , have "lived it" and truely understand "it".
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
I have to say that I have little tolerance for screamers with a temper. You have broken up and further communicaton will probably just make things worse. He thinks his reasons are valid. Subjective and objective reasons are seldom the same for a breakup. The two of you DID NOT bring out the best in each other. There is no winner.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: nowheresville
Posts: 872
Hi,
He didn't drink becaus ehe was unhappy wit you he drank becaus ehe wanted to and you are as good as an excuse as any. What he said abut drinking because he subconsciously wanted to destroy the relationship...............very true not BS on his part. Active A's are very self-destructive.
It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks only that you are taking care of yourself.
Ngaire
He didn't drink becaus ehe was unhappy wit you he drank becaus ehe wanted to and you are as good as an excuse as any. What he said abut drinking because he subconsciously wanted to destroy the relationship...............very true not BS on his part. Active A's are very self-destructive.
It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks only that you are taking care of yourself.
Ngaire
Originally Posted by DESIGNER
Well I have been posting here for about 2 weeks now and I will say that I am much stronger than I was back then and I have been taking care of myself and feel better ,but one issue still keeps on bothering me. I am afraid that no one else(including his parents and friends or roommates) will go through and see all the craziness that I saw. My xabf is a very sweet person. He does not have a temper or pretty much a mean bone in his body(quiet guy) where I on the other hand have quite a bit of temper-though I believe for the most part that I am a good person. I guess the reason that this bothers me is because everytime I talk to him or hear through a friend how he is doing it sounds as though there was never anything wrong with him!!!!( He is not drinking as heavily, holding a steady job and planning on going back to school). I know that it was not our relationship that caused it but People are going to think that it had something to do with me and him not being happy. He told me last time that we talked that he felt as though he thinks that the reason he was drinking so much was that he was subconciosly trying to ruin our relationship. I know that is bs but no one else does. I am the one that wanted to leave him a few months ago and he pleaded with me not too and he was the one that asked me what kind of engagement ring I wanted and then does not remember asking me that( he was not drinking when he asked me that.) I guess I am just so angry because everything that is coming out of his mouth is bs. I have been told by you guys to ignore it but I just get so angry when I think about it because it is all crap.
Another thing is now he is saying that he is ok when a couple of weeks ago he was saying that he knows that eventually he will have to surrender to AA. Do alcoholics go through stages of denial and acceptance?. I just do not understand. I want to pick his brain and see how he thinks. I guess I just don't want to believe that he drank because he was unhappy with me. I thought what we had was good and I never thought that he drank because he was unhappy in the relationship -just thought that he was an alcoholic.
I am not perfect by any means but I consider myself a good person but I guess I still keep on thinking about my anger toward him at times. I fight below the belt almost to the point that I seem crazy. There are too many situations to name where I went crazy and screamed and yelled and beat him into the ground.(mentally!!!) I wanted him to feel the pain and anger that i was feeling and I got to the point where I really was so exhausted dealing with all the lies and the drunken nights and the loss of the jobs and etc.... the list could go on forever.
I just keep on focusing on my anger. I guess that I hate that about me and it is something I can work on but I have been told by him that I need to be more positive about things and not hit below the belt when I fight. I don't want him to remember me like that even though he should be the one worried about what i think of him. I think that he partly has me believing that maybe I was not the best girl to be around at times but neither was he the best bf at times. I am a good girl that can be so positive, fun loving and happy if I had not had to live with something like alcoholism. He has told me that he knows I am a good person but I want him to say that he is to blame for the relationship ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He keeps on throwing it back in my face that I was the one that finally ended for good. Yes that is true only for the fact that he was not showing any progress toward fixing his life and now he is and everyone is going to forget what he used to be except for me!!! I guess I should be happy that he is doing better but apart of me wanted others to really experience the person that he was behind closed doors.. Totally different and no one saw that but me!!!!!! He can go on and act like he is not an alcoholic.
Another thing is now he is saying that he is ok when a couple of weeks ago he was saying that he knows that eventually he will have to surrender to AA. Do alcoholics go through stages of denial and acceptance?. I just do not understand. I want to pick his brain and see how he thinks. I guess I just don't want to believe that he drank because he was unhappy with me. I thought what we had was good and I never thought that he drank because he was unhappy in the relationship -just thought that he was an alcoholic.
I am not perfect by any means but I consider myself a good person but I guess I still keep on thinking about my anger toward him at times. I fight below the belt almost to the point that I seem crazy. There are too many situations to name where I went crazy and screamed and yelled and beat him into the ground.(mentally!!!) I wanted him to feel the pain and anger that i was feeling and I got to the point where I really was so exhausted dealing with all the lies and the drunken nights and the loss of the jobs and etc.... the list could go on forever.
I just keep on focusing on my anger. I guess that I hate that about me and it is something I can work on but I have been told by him that I need to be more positive about things and not hit below the belt when I fight. I don't want him to remember me like that even though he should be the one worried about what i think of him. I think that he partly has me believing that maybe I was not the best girl to be around at times but neither was he the best bf at times. I am a good girl that can be so positive, fun loving and happy if I had not had to live with something like alcoholism. He has told me that he knows I am a good person but I want him to say that he is to blame for the relationship ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He keeps on throwing it back in my face that I was the one that finally ended for good. Yes that is true only for the fact that he was not showing any progress toward fixing his life and now he is and everyone is going to forget what he used to be except for me!!! I guess I should be happy that he is doing better but apart of me wanted others to really experience the person that he was behind closed doors.. Totally different and no one saw that but me!!!!!! He can go on and act like he is not an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
I know your angry and it hurts. Im sorry your going through this. I just wanted to pull a couple things from your post that caught my eye.
First off if this relationship has ended why are you talking to him right now. When "friends" wanted to tell me about my ex I would politely ask them to keep it to there selves. I dont want to continue to hurt and knowing what he thinks of me is only going to hurt me more. No contact worked for me.
Yes they do have stages of denial and acceptance but dont we all?? They are human too so why would they not have the emotional range that a non alcoholic has? The other thing I want to point out is (I say this with love) That is his life and for us to try to contol someone elses life is not only wrong it will drive you insane. I know my ex would tell me what he thought I wanted to hear just to get me off his back when I was being controling. Sweetie he does not have the problem you do. He does not want to change, his reality is that there is no problem.
You know I would grab this one didnt ya. That is crazy hon. That is our disease, when another person is living there life and we get that caught up in there life that we fight like that??? To me it says that Im living the wrong life and need to step away from my partners life and take a really good look at mine. If my relationship is at this point it is not just a problem, its becoming Toxic to me.
Again Im trying to be gentle ... I could have written your post myself 2 years ago (except the fighting) ... I have had the exact same feelings.....but here I go.
He is not to blame alone hon.... There is alway 3 sides to a relationship. His, Hers and then in the middle is the truth. In my last relationship he ended it by sending me a text message 2 days into my daughters dream trip to Italy. The whole first month I went round and round in my head about what happened, I did not see it ending like that at all. I tried to figure out what I did wrong etc... He did send me an apology e-mail and in that one he pointed out my flaws that he could not accept and apologized for not being able to accept them. That hurt, but if Im really honest with myself he was right about a couple things.... Im glad he ended it before it became toxic.... but one thing I know for sure is it was not all his fault. Look at your part and work on that.
Sweetie please take the focus off him and put it on you. You are a wonderful person and you dont have to sit around wondering what others think about you. What they think about you is none of your business.... but how you think about you is.
I guess the reason that this bothers me is because everytime I talk to him or hear through a friend how he is doing it sounds as though there was never anything wrong with him!!!!( He is not drinking as heavily, holding a steady job and planning on going back to school).
Another thing is now he is saying that he is ok when a couple of weeks ago he was saying that he knows that eventually he will have to surrender to AA. Do alcoholics go through stages of denial and acceptance?.
I fight below the belt almost to the point that I seem crazy. There are too many situations to name where I went crazy and screamed and yelled and beat him into the ground.(mentally!!!)
I want him to say that he is to blame for the relationship ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is not to blame alone hon.... There is alway 3 sides to a relationship. His, Hers and then in the middle is the truth. In my last relationship he ended it by sending me a text message 2 days into my daughters dream trip to Italy. The whole first month I went round and round in my head about what happened, I did not see it ending like that at all. I tried to figure out what I did wrong etc... He did send me an apology e-mail and in that one he pointed out my flaws that he could not accept and apologized for not being able to accept them. That hurt, but if Im really honest with myself he was right about a couple things.... Im glad he ended it before it became toxic.... but one thing I know for sure is it was not all his fault. Look at your part and work on that.
Sweetie please take the focus off him and put it on you. You are a wonderful person and you dont have to sit around wondering what others think about you. What they think about you is none of your business.... but how you think about you is.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: OhighO
Posts: 11
This is how people get affected by the disease. I too, as most of us, have been the only witness of tramatic and crazy behavior with my AH. The AH
has convinced himself that you are lying, you fight with all your might,
nothing changes, you go a little crazier inside.
has convinced himself that you are lying, you fight with all your might,
nothing changes, you go a little crazier inside.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Not many people saw my AH drinking behaviour except for me. He doesn't have contact with his family and we were living 100 miles away from mine.
I remember getting blamed alot for his drinking, if it wasn't me, the bills or the kids it was his imfamous "I don't know". Him telling me "I'm not drunk" while his face looked like it was sliding off his skull.
Then the sober times, the remorse, "Your the only one I feel comfortable with" "Your the only one who will listen to me".
Then the sober times, the anger, "Why are you always nagging me?" "Why don't the kids do what I tell them?" "Your the one who got us into this mess!"
I remember all of these, I don't forget them, they are part of my recovery.
He's been sober 3 yrs now, sobriety however isn't the magical place I once hoped it would be. Those issues that seemed minor under the monster of active drinking are still there and we deal with them every day. My recovery has helped me deal with those issues, everyday. Without my recovery I would be back in that dark pit of despair that I lived in so long.
I have been in the depths of hell. And I survived.
So I keep working on myself, everyday. I have to be selfish about it, he's no longer first and foremost in my life. I am. And I intend to keep it that way.
Hugs to everyone,
Teggie
I remember getting blamed alot for his drinking, if it wasn't me, the bills or the kids it was his imfamous "I don't know". Him telling me "I'm not drunk" while his face looked like it was sliding off his skull.
Then the sober times, the remorse, "Your the only one I feel comfortable with" "Your the only one who will listen to me".
Then the sober times, the anger, "Why are you always nagging me?" "Why don't the kids do what I tell them?" "Your the one who got us into this mess!"
I remember all of these, I don't forget them, they are part of my recovery.
He's been sober 3 yrs now, sobriety however isn't the magical place I once hoped it would be. Those issues that seemed minor under the monster of active drinking are still there and we deal with them every day. My recovery has helped me deal with those issues, everyday. Without my recovery I would be back in that dark pit of despair that I lived in so long.
I have been in the depths of hell. And I survived.
So I keep working on myself, everyday. I have to be selfish about it, he's no longer first and foremost in my life. I am. And I intend to keep it that way.
Hugs to everyone,
Teggie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 261
Originally Posted by mallowcup
I have to say that I have little tolerance for screamers with a temper.
I guess my first message made me come across as this temper driven person. I was only that way toward the end when it started getting so out of control. I realize now that screaming and yelling was only fueling the fire but I had already tried every other thing that I thought could possibly make him stop doing all the insane things he was doing.
I guess that I am still kind of fragile right now and any kind of negative posts really makes me kind of fall back into that area of thinking that something really was wrong with me.
I do though appreciate everyone that takes the time to read and reply back!!!!
Last edited by DesertEyes; 10-24-2006 at 12:03 PM. Reason: fixed broken quote
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I guess that I am still kind of fragile right now and any kind of negative posts really makes me kind of fall back into that area of thinking that something really was wrong with me.
All of us repeatedly tolerated unacceptable behavior because we didn't think we deserved more.
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