JessicaNAJ

Many of you may already know, I never had a "bed time" for my kids. They ALWAYS went to bed when I did unless they crashed on the couch first. Why did I do this? B/c It was much easier. I always had so much on my plate and so much to deal with, trying to get them to bed at a earlier time just wasn't on my priority list. And it was one hassle I wasn't wanting to deal with (them crying and arguing that they didn't want to go to bed and that they wanted to stay up with me, etc.)

Well, it started getting to the point where I couldn't wait to go to bed, just so they'd go to sleep and the chaos would stop. I always stayed up to watch the 10:00 news and most of the time, I'd miss it. I was exhausted and didn't know it.

With the advise of my friends and some other very wise people, I started the bedtime thing. It was sooooo hard! Moreso with my daughter than my son.

Here's how I did it. My son has allergies and asthma. His room is in the basement and he couldn't sleep down there b/c it was really really dusty (something else I've let go since I've been so bogged down with my self-created drama). So I spent 5 hours one day cleaning his room. It was immaculate by the time I was done. I rearranged it and he loved it. Since I rearranged it, he couldn't wait to sleep down there. And he has been for 2 weeks now.

My daughter was a different story. She's very dramatic and very very hard to get to cooperate when she's tired. Many of you know too that I felt like I didn't spend enough quality time with her too and that I felt really really bad about that. It was affecting her too.

SO....we started a routine. PJ's on, Brush her teeth, into bed, talk about her day, read a story and then I sing her a bed time song. The rule is, IF she is still awake when I go to bed, she can come to bed with me. But she has to stay in her bed at least until I go to bed. And, obviously if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she can jump in my bed too. IT WORKED!!! For two weeks now, she's been sleeping in her bed. Sometimes I have 2 hours at night all to myself. I find myself not wanting to go to bed and sometimes stay up past midnight just b/c I CAN!

This is huge to me!! And it's helping with her too. My son and I, we had that strong bond time. He was more of a cuddle bug than she is at this age. We spent a lot of quality time together and it show's....I feel it and I'm sure he does too. My daughter, she's too hyper. She's a good girl, but she don't sit still too long. Even as a baby she didn't like to be held. Her feelings have been coming out more as she gets older and she'll say things like, "You love everybody more than me." In the last two weeks though, our bond has been stronger. And she seems much happier. I should have done this a long time ago.

Today...was picture day. I wanted to get the kids ready and take them to school. I was going to take a few hours off work, but then I decided to take the whole day off work! Just for me. I never would have done this before.

Anyway, just wanted to share. Didn't mean to go on this long though.



SO...what have you done for you lately?

Pick-a-name

Jessica; you sound better and better with every post....thanks for sharing this! Your serenity is showing!

You inspire me!

denny57

Jessica, you are awesome. I hope some newcomers struggling with what to do will go back and read your story through your posts. I hear the strength coming through this post and I am so very happy for you. I hope things will only get better with your son and daughter as they learn they can relax in their newer, saner, environment. You will be a great example to them in how to take responsibility for living a good and joyous life.

It was a real turning point for me when I also copped to my "self created drama." You are an inspiration.

Cynay

Better be careful Jessica .... Your senerity is showing.

Im so glad you are taking control and finding peace.

Ayers1995

Thanks for posting Jes... I too have struggles getting my kids to bed at night, and think it'd be a great idea give them that rule that IF they are awake when I go to bed, they can come in there......

Hoping to be at my moms soon, this will be great! Thanks..

pmaslan

All good stuff Jess.....BUT
what the heck is all this kids coming into your bed with you if they
are still awake when you go to bed?????
They are in their beds that's where they should stay....

Supernanny on ABC check out your local date and time it airs.....

kermit

Very coll. Good Job!

JessicaNAJ

Did you know that that was the only way I could get her to sleep before? She'd go to bed when I did, in my bed. So this is a HUGE milestone.

Supernanny...nah. I don't mind my kids climbing in bed with me. My favorite memories as a kid is when I'd climb in bed with my mom. That's really just an incentive though. She's always asleep by the time I go to bed.

pmaslan

whatever works for you Jess...

I'm glad that she is going to sleep on her own now.

Cynay

Yea ..... especially since you are gettng so healthy one day you might want to share that bed with someone else.....

and somehow I dont think her in the middle will work....

I say that cuz it happened to me when I got married the second time and she was use to sleeping with me.... boy did we have a struggle with that one.

pmaslan

That's exactly what I was thinking Cynay...lol

JessicaNAJ

My mom said the same thing. It's a work in progress. Baby steps right!

an'ka

Jessica, I am in a similar position in that my 2 year old sleeps with me. I've become so accustomed to that little wonderful body snoring next to me, and that's all she knows. I can see how that could become a big issue in the future, if I ever have a normal adult relationship (chuckle), but for now, I love the safe and ultimately sublime feeling of having my baby right against my body.

cwohio

you are taking more than baby steps jess!!!

FormerDoormat

Two questions:

Who ARE you? And what have you done with the old Jessica?

JessicaNAJ

She's been hijacked

StandingStrong

Jessica,
Good for you!
You know where I stand already - on the basis that children need a routine which builds stability in their lives.
Sounds like your new arrangement is working out for both you and your daughter!
Nice to hear that things are going well for you and that you seem to really be getting a grasp on your life.