Decision made
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Here and now
Posts: 93
Decision made
I have made the decision to get a divorce. It is very painful for me at this time, but I hope will be the best for both myself and my husband in the long run.
Thanks in advance for your continued support.
Thanks in advance for your continued support.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Alongtimegone
My prayers go out for you right now, I know this decision didn't come easy and is painful. But sometimes progress is painful.
Just trust that your needs will be met and that you are not alone.
And know that we are here and love you and care. Use this time to heal and to work on yourself. You are a terrific lady with lots to be proud of and the strength to get through this.
My prayers go out for you right now, I know this decision didn't come easy and is painful. But sometimes progress is painful.
Just trust that your needs will be met and that you are not alone.
And know that we are here and love you and care. Use this time to heal and to work on yourself. You are a terrific lady with lots to be proud of and the strength to get through this.
Paused
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 19
Decision Made
Hi Alongtime:
((Hugs)) to you. Any divorce, amicable or otherwise is painful. At one time you loved each other. I've been divorced from my ex for over 20 years now. We had seven children together and had some great years until drugs and alcohol became his priority. It was not a decision I made hastily. After we separated, I waited for two years to make sure that wa what both of us wanted. I was working my program and was told to not make major changes right away and I did not. I'm glad I waited so I knew I did everything I could humanly do. Then my conscious was clear.
Hope you're doing OK. Keep posting and sharing as much as you feel comfortable doing. We're all here for you.
((Hugs)) to you. Any divorce, amicable or otherwise is painful. At one time you loved each other. I've been divorced from my ex for over 20 years now. We had seven children together and had some great years until drugs and alcohol became his priority. It was not a decision I made hastily. After we separated, I waited for two years to make sure that wa what both of us wanted. I was working my program and was told to not make major changes right away and I did not. I'm glad I waited so I knew I did everything I could humanly do. Then my conscious was clear.
Hope you're doing OK. Keep posting and sharing as much as you feel comfortable doing. We're all here for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Here and now
Posts: 93
Decision
I had hoped to give this decision and my recovery a little more time, but it is not to be.
We have been living apart for 5 months now and a lot of pressure is being put on me to allow him to come back. I am not ready to do so and I do not feel safe doing so.
We have been living apart for 5 months now and a lot of pressure is being put on me to allow him to come back. I am not ready to do so and I do not feel safe doing so.
Paused
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 19
Decision Made
Good morning Alongtime:
We must remain true to ourselves. We are told that the programs are "selfish"......I've never believed that. They are self preservation!!!!!! I have to get quiet, listen to my inner being......that's where my calmness and serenity lays. The answers are there. It took me so long to understand that concept. When I finally did......viola.......peace, ability to think straight and go with my inner self.
The "A" had 60 days and started drinking, alcoholically again this week. Much grieve, lack of trust. Even though I'm a trained counselor in that field.....not easy when one is living with it. I will make no changes right away.....however, I'm 63 y/o and don't want to be unhappy which I am, currently. I felt so good about the "A"'s accepting he was an alcoholic 60 days ago. Now he claims he was just saying that to get himself out of hot water. I can see that now!!!!!!!
"One Day" at a time for all. Especially those of us living with the disease and watching another destroy themselves and all those who are around them.
((Hugs))
We must remain true to ourselves. We are told that the programs are "selfish"......I've never believed that. They are self preservation!!!!!! I have to get quiet, listen to my inner being......that's where my calmness and serenity lays. The answers are there. It took me so long to understand that concept. When I finally did......viola.......peace, ability to think straight and go with my inner self.
The "A" had 60 days and started drinking, alcoholically again this week. Much grieve, lack of trust. Even though I'm a trained counselor in that field.....not easy when one is living with it. I will make no changes right away.....however, I'm 63 y/o and don't want to be unhappy which I am, currently. I felt so good about the "A"'s accepting he was an alcoholic 60 days ago. Now he claims he was just saying that to get himself out of hot water. I can see that now!!!!!!!
"One Day" at a time for all. Especially those of us living with the disease and watching another destroy themselves and all those who are around them.
((Hugs))
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Alongtime
((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
It sometimes is so long in coming that it's a real relief to finally make a decision..You can take the happy memorys with you.
PLEASE remember that if you go through with the D....The marrage failed...
YOU didn't...
Love and prayers from one who cares
((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
It sometimes is so long in coming that it's a real relief to finally make a decision..You can take the happy memorys with you.
PLEASE remember that if you go through with the D....The marrage failed...
YOU didn't...
Love and prayers from one who cares
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
Alongtime,
I agree with Dafodil 100%. It would be a relief for me to come to a decision. I am glad you have. You must follow your heart and build a life where you can feel peace and safe. My prayers are with you as you move through this process.
I agree with Dafodil 100%. It would be a relief for me to come to a decision. I am glad you have. You must follow your heart and build a life where you can feel peace and safe. My prayers are with you as you move through this process.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Here and now
Posts: 93
Thanks
Thanks everyone.
I am in a lot of pain right now, but your messages are very encouraging. I do feel like I've failed.
I also feel like I lost me somewhere a long the way, and don't even know who I am anymore.
I had so many hopes, dreams, and goals - now I just don't know what even means anything to me anymore.
I do know that I really want to work on learning to stay away from situations that have abuse potential.
God bless all of you for your support!
I am in a lot of pain right now, but your messages are very encouraging. I do feel like I've failed.
I also feel like I lost me somewhere a long the way, and don't even know who I am anymore.
I had so many hopes, dreams, and goals - now I just don't know what even means anything to me anymore.
I do know that I really want to work on learning to stay away from situations that have abuse potential.
God bless all of you for your support!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Along,
hugs!
Darling, I know that you have not been anything but lconscientous in seeking solutions and resolutions. Maybe your hopes failed but I am sure you did not.
Time takes time.
Please take care of yourself. As good of care as you were taking of him!
love,
live
hugs!
Darling, I know that you have not been anything but lconscientous in seeking solutions and resolutions. Maybe your hopes failed but I am sure you did not.
Time takes time.
Please take care of yourself. As good of care as you were taking of him!
love,
live
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