luli2979

Hi everybody, hope you are fine. I'm a little sad. Yesterday was my 27th birthday and I went dinning with my husband. At first he ordered red wine, because we were eating meat and then for the dessert he ordered gin tonic and there's when the problem starts. He never stoped. He was happy, he told me that he want to race his nephew, he wants him here in Hong Kong with us. I was sorprised, he even can be sober, how could he take care a child? When I said that, he get angry and said that I don´t love his family, that he is upset because his nephew love me more than I do.
And that's it, a mess, a great birthday gift.
Today I'm furious and my husband acting like nothing happened, he still thinking that I'm wrong and he is right.
Thank you for reading!

Zoey

luli, all this will go on and on as long as he drinks, and usually gets worse with time.
Why does he want to raise his nephew? Does the nephew need a home?
If just under influence idea he may forget it soon.

Keep reading and learning. They tell us everyone loves them more than we do, or something like that.
Others will be by when morning gets here! It is past my bedtime, I am so sorry your Birthday turned out sad. HUGS

Cynay

Happy Birthday to you! a little late but better late then never!

One thing I had to learn and trust me Im STILL learning is not to take it personal.... detaching is the hardest thing for me not only to understand but to put into action..... guess that is why God is giving me ALOT of opptunity to work on it right now.

I try really hard to just not go there.... when they are drinking I dont really believe anything they say and not that I agree with them when they say things that make no sense.... I dont want in any way to give them the impression that I agree with the issue.... I just choose not to say anything at all....

I know its hard, but engaging in the conversation like asking him how he can raise a child when he cant stay sober is engaging him and it will pretty much only bring me more hurt. What Im trying to do is let the quacking go and deal with it when it becomes a real issue... for example, if he actually started talking about it with your nephew's parents and wanted to make plans for it.... I would find a time he is sober and set my boundries....

*hugs* I know its hard and especially when it ruins your birthday but hang tight and know we are here for you.

mallowcup

The symptom that gets lost int het others is the arrogance. I have attended weddings and other festive occasions where my husband was snot slinging drunk. His memory and recount of these occassions have made me realzie that he has no idea that he made an ass out of himself. He thinks everyone had a great time, just like him. I have aways wanted to find a way for him to recall things as I do, through my eyes not his. I want him to realzie that people are looking at him and rolling their eyes, I want him to see that like I do. I want him to know they laughed at him, not with him. We've stopped being invited. He thinks that is just an oversight. They can totally ruin an event and they don't get it. My husband took me out for dinner about 6 years ago and we had just sat to order when se could overhear a conversation at the next table, two older couples were talking about their daughter having chemo. My husband stood up and made the biggest scene about them ruining his wifes birthday dinner with their depressing inappropriate dinner conversation. I was horrified! He stormed out of the restaurant. This couple had very obviously stepped out from the hospital for a bite to eat and were discussing the plan of care for their terminally ill daughter. He ranted all the way home and my birthday was ruined. I wish I had a forehead cam. He should have to at least endure himself the next day by seeing and hearing what I did. He gets smashed and argues about politics and religion to anyone in the bar. A bartender will ask him if he wants his drink straight up or with ice and he says "OK" and thinks that's funny. I stopped going with him anywhere. She might ask if he wants rice or a potato and he will say "OK". Hysterical! Ane what's up with the overtipping? My husband isn't working, he isnt' bringing in a dime. He drinks top shelf and tips what equals an hour of my work. I'm not working an hour to leave it to a waitress. I didn't mean to ramble but I'm afraid I know exactly what you're talking about. I keep waiting for some great big guy to plow him right in the kisser.

pmaslan

Just wanted to extend a birthday wish to you....
sorry it's late.....