Need Support! Who do they just walk away? Why choose alcohol instead of me?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 96
Need Support! Who do they just walk away? Why choose alcohol instead of me?
Hi All,
I find myself very upset this evening. When I went to court to have the Order for Protection enforced, the xabf brought a lawyer. The lawyer examined me and tried to make me seem like the bad one in court! I had nothing to hide and told the truth. The xabf gets up there and start lying from the get-go. He says I "hit" him first on the day of the "alleged" assault.
Today what really ticked me off was coming home and checking the mail. The xabf told my friend he had mail for me over 2 weeks ago. In court, he said he mailed it last thursday. His excuse has been he has been forwarding it, BS! I even did a test where I addressed something to myself and it forwarded fine. Is there anything I can do about this mail hostage situation?
He is screwing with me. I think he's probably pissed he spent $$$ on a lawyer to get the Order for Protection dismissed and I got it anyway.
He told me this summer he wanted to break up. I was fine with that. I don't understand except maybe he knew he was really going to hurt me one of these days and I'd begun fighting back against his yelling, threats and guilt trips.
I know he was emotionally abusive...I know that now. I also know that he will probably try to find someone else to date who will put up with his drinking and abuse, thinking "I" caused the problems.
It still amazes me he would come to court and deny the allegations AND disagree that an Order for Protection could be granted.
Why? Why? Why?
I also began to take into account how he is with his family and they all yell at each other, say terrible things to each other and then go, "Oh, I'm not mad now, sorry". Most of his siblings have active alcohol abuse issues. I have no idea why I thought he would continue to treat me differently.
p.s. I ordered the book "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controling Men" in hopes that will provide some much needed answers.
Sad, Mad and Frustrated,
giz
I find myself very upset this evening. When I went to court to have the Order for Protection enforced, the xabf brought a lawyer. The lawyer examined me and tried to make me seem like the bad one in court! I had nothing to hide and told the truth. The xabf gets up there and start lying from the get-go. He says I "hit" him first on the day of the "alleged" assault.
Today what really ticked me off was coming home and checking the mail. The xabf told my friend he had mail for me over 2 weeks ago. In court, he said he mailed it last thursday. His excuse has been he has been forwarding it, BS! I even did a test where I addressed something to myself and it forwarded fine. Is there anything I can do about this mail hostage situation?
He is screwing with me. I think he's probably pissed he spent $$$ on a lawyer to get the Order for Protection dismissed and I got it anyway.
He told me this summer he wanted to break up. I was fine with that. I don't understand except maybe he knew he was really going to hurt me one of these days and I'd begun fighting back against his yelling, threats and guilt trips.
I know he was emotionally abusive...I know that now. I also know that he will probably try to find someone else to date who will put up with his drinking and abuse, thinking "I" caused the problems.
It still amazes me he would come to court and deny the allegations AND disagree that an Order for Protection could be granted.
Why? Why? Why?
I also began to take into account how he is with his family and they all yell at each other, say terrible things to each other and then go, "Oh, I'm not mad now, sorry". Most of his siblings have active alcohol abuse issues. I have no idea why I thought he would continue to treat me differently.
p.s. I ordered the book "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controling Men" in hopes that will provide some much needed answers.
Sad, Mad and Frustrated,
giz
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
Why? When an order of protection is issued against a person , it remains a part of their record. He doesn't want to lhave that on his record. People lie in court all the time. I'd let that absorb a bit. He knows he's lying and knowing that it leaves an impression on everyone int he room, he lied anyway. The court sees this every single day. As far as the mail goes, go to the post office and just fill out a mail forwarding card. Good Luck.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
Why do they choose alcohol? They think it equires nothing fromthem but in truth it requires everything from them. Your question makes me realize that this may be why I wretch if I try to have a social drink now. I have come to think of alcohol as his mistress that I always lose to. I work, cook, clean, detach, expect nothing. etc and "she"(budweiser) does nothing but sit there so seductively. He spends every waking minute thinking about her. He lusts after her. She is the one thing that can make him forget all about me. She would seduce me too if I let her. She is so cruel. She loves to rub my face int it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 96
Mallowcup,
Exactly! The thing about this guy is he isn't a cheater, with other women but with alcohol, it's just as you say. She is always on his mind. He is thinking about the next time he can sneak off to see her, hoping I won't be able to tell what he's been doing between the stool and the bar top. Thank you so much for sharing!!!!! God, that is why I come here because hearing others stories, like mine, means so much to my hurt heart.
Exactly! The thing about this guy is he isn't a cheater, with other women but with alcohol, it's just as you say. She is always on his mind. He is thinking about the next time he can sneak off to see her, hoping I won't be able to tell what he's been doing between the stool and the bar top. Thank you so much for sharing!!!!! God, that is why I come here because hearing others stories, like mine, means so much to my hurt heart.
Originally Posted by mallowcup
Why do they choose alcohol? They think it equires nothing fromthem but in truth it requires everything from them. Your question makes me realize that this may be why I wretch if I try to have a social drink now. I have come to think of alcohol as his mistress that I always lose to. I work, cook, clean, detach, expect nothing. etc and "she"(budweiser) does nothing but sit there so seductively. He spends every waking minute thinking about her. He lusts after her. She is the one thing that can make him forget all about me. She would seduce me too if I let her. She is so cruel. She loves to rub my face int it.
ritabee
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 45
Does this sound familiar to anyone?
You look at me with lust in your eyes. You want me and it's painfully obvious. You touch me so tenderly with your hands like I am priceless gold. I long for you too, my only wish is to make you feel good.
You open me up and taste my wetness and this makes you want me even more. After you are finished drinking in my juices you are left with a warm and fuzzy feeling. It seems like no time at all before you are ready to have me again and I am only too happy to give myself to you, over and over until you finally sleep from the pure exhaustion of it all.
In the morning you remember me and all we have shared and deeply regret the experience. This hurts me because I gave you everything you wanted and asked for nothing in return. After a few hours the regret is gone and you remember what we have shared and once again you come to me.
You love me for the way I make you feel but you hate me because you know that I have a power over you. You want to be the one in control but you know that you are nothing without me. I have the power in our relationship and we both know it. You may try to leave me from time to time but you always come back.
Other women may try to love you but nobody can fill your need like I can. That's why you keep coming back. I am #1 in your life, your body, your soul, your lover and your killer.
I am booze.
You look at me with lust in your eyes. You want me and it's painfully obvious. You touch me so tenderly with your hands like I am priceless gold. I long for you too, my only wish is to make you feel good.
You open me up and taste my wetness and this makes you want me even more. After you are finished drinking in my juices you are left with a warm and fuzzy feeling. It seems like no time at all before you are ready to have me again and I am only too happy to give myself to you, over and over until you finally sleep from the pure exhaustion of it all.
In the morning you remember me and all we have shared and deeply regret the experience. This hurts me because I gave you everything you wanted and asked for nothing in return. After a few hours the regret is gone and you remember what we have shared and once again you come to me.
You love me for the way I make you feel but you hate me because you know that I have a power over you. You want to be the one in control but you know that you are nothing without me. I have the power in our relationship and we both know it. You may try to leave me from time to time but you always come back.
Other women may try to love you but nobody can fill your need like I can. That's why you keep coming back. I am #1 in your life, your body, your soul, your lover and your killer.
I am booze.
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