It got worse

Old 09-27-2006, 07:26 PM
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Unhappy It got worse

Hi, I am Danielle, I posted here before. MY dad got much worser in the alcohol, he is stealing money from my mom but now he is begging her for money and she gives it to him and i tell her not to. Then on last Saturday he wnted a $20 for lunch but he ended up spending it all on beer then complaining to my mom that he needs more that he needs to get stuff that he NEEDS, and he lied and got more beer and heavy stuff. I tried to hide the money but my dad ended up like yelling at me and trying to hit me saying i get all the money when he gets a $20 every week of the year thats not right everytime it goes to beer and plus the money he steals. Then when my mom gets tips he takes it, when he gets tips when he works he grabs the money and says No its mine and u cant have any, eversince iwas small he never wanted to spend any money on me it was either money i saved or my mom using it for my clothes my dad just used it on beer which still pisses me off. Then on last Sunday he was drunk and he wouldnt move to get going for anything and I came home, he said he needed the car, he dont seem he wants me to be out anywhere. I tried to motivate him to go do what my mom says but he just tells me to shut the F*ck up and get out of here. Then he moves he calls me the *sshole and dumbass. He always makes fun of the music i listen to also and I never make fun of his music he makes a big thing for everything. Yesterday I threw a Paper Towel just LIL papertowel at him he got mad and threw his Flipflop at me, and acted like a lil kid, and then he kicked me and told me to pick it up and when he leaves all his stuff on the floor i havge to pick that lil thing up gosh couldnt he have done it? He is really fat and sh*t, its not right it aint right, the other day idid something bad like really bad I took X and it didnt do nothing much it just made me more myself it seemed and i wished it would have killed me and yet i want more for that reason. I think im going to get addicted, and that alateen i dont have time for i try to keep up with everything and im sick today also, im like falling apart. I gotta keep up with school and i have to take care of my mom its hard for me to have any free time ever its just my mom dont like me out pass 9pm even though i am legal and i can stay out much later i just listen to her because im the only child but its going to lead me down somewher eidont want to go and im going to be sorry for myself which idont want to be. Even though im starting to be already, everything just screwed up and I do know there is people out there worser then me and my heart goes out to them.
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Old 09-27-2006, 08:25 PM
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Well, you say you are of legal age. If you could do anything with your life that you wanted, what would it be. Who do you admire in your life? I'd like you to think about this. Do you realize that you empower someone you disrespect when you react to them? You can be anything you decide so why not decide not to do drugs or drink. You have the world in front of you, why take ont he traits of the people you think the least of? Make your mom proud, it sounds like she has raised you to know right from wrong. I'd concentrate on her and yourself. Keep yourself safe. Don't take that poison in. Have you ever heard the term quacking?
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Old 09-28-2006, 06:31 AM
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Hi lostsoul,
Im sorry you are hurting. I was raised in an unhealthy home and can relate to some of what you are saying.

First, you do not have to use drugs or alcohol just becuase he does. If you are worried about your own drinking could you maybe take a break for a week or so and see how it goes?

As for taking care of your mom, honey, thats not your job. Taking care of yourself is. Also, trying to hide the money from your dad doesnt work very well huh?

Hope you can post more and reach out
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Old 09-28-2006, 10:06 AM
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Hey Lost Soul, how old are you? i haven't read your previous posts, but from what I understand, the home life is awful. I am glad you are still in school--please don't stop going to classes. I don't want to preach, but you will NEED your diploma if you want to have opportunities in the future. Have you talked to your mom about the possibility of leaving? If she is not willing to go, god knows there are plenty of reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, have you considered setting out on your own? Are there any healthy relatives or friends that you can stay with until you finish school? If there is no way at all you can move out, maybe finding a part time job in the evenings would help, both financially and to simply minimize your exposure to all the stuff at home. Don't become like your father--you CAN have a great future, you CAN have a great family of your own, so don't give up. Hugs.
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Old 09-28-2006, 10:31 AM
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I agree with the previous posts. Pleeaseee get some help for yourself!
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Old 09-28-2006, 12:06 PM
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Danielle...
turning to drugs is NOT the answer. Please find an adult who you trust to talk to, whether it be a school counselor, a grandparent, a friend's parent...anyone...
I'm really concerned about you...
I read about the situation with your family and it brings back so many memories of my childhood...
See I'm also an adult child of an alcoholic dad...he was a wife beater, I started drinking at age 14...and doing drugs.
My family was majorly dysfunctional...
I married another addict at age 16 to get out of the situation I was in...
Fast forward----25 years later...I'm addicted to meth, using it on a daily basis.
I get drug tested at work and have to admit to "everyone"...that in spite of everything I disliked about my father and his alcoholism...I've become "him"....only with drugs...instead of alcohol!
You have the power within you to break the cycle!
I finally did...
I've been clean & sober for 5 years now. I had to change everything. My kids are 17 & 20...they knew that something was wrong...but I hid my drug use from them until I got busted. Now we talk about it openly. I had to divorce their father, because he continued to use...and I wasn't willing to put their safety & security in jeopardy any longer once I realized the truth...that is, that they could be taken away just because the drug was in the house.
Sweetie, I know about the alcoholic rage...I once had to wait until my dad passed out to take the clip out of his gun so he wouldn't go shoot someone at the bar...
There are others who have been where you are...
and there is a way to survive!
Try to learn as much about the disease of addiction and alcoholism...do not get sucked in yourself...try to get some support for yourself from some sane and sober people.
I've learned a lot from the "alanon" people...You can't cure, didn't cause, and can't control" the addict/alcoholic's behavior (referred to as the 3 C's).
Keep comming back!
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Old 09-28-2006, 12:44 PM
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Why don't you call a crisis line, and if you are under age 18, maybe they have ways to help you live on your own, if over 18 perhaps you would have help finding a place to live and find a part time job. See what all they offer.

Just starting to search for answers makes us feel stronger, in my opinion.

Also keep posting here, to just write it out where people understand to me seems to release part of the burden.
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