domelia

Hi,

I first posted yesterday about my AH. My question now is how much do I tell my kids? They are 11 years old. I grew up with and alcoholic dad (he died from it at age 46) and my mom didn't tell us anything about it. I have told the kids that their dad is an alcoholic and it's not there fault. It's a disease. Yesterday when he slept all day and didn't have much interaction with us, my son was asking where he was. All I said was sleeping. I don't want to put adult problems on them but I also don't want them to think it's okay. I am going to go to a meeting and bring the kids to al-ateen. My girlfriend is going with me. Her husband is bipolar and he acts like an alcoholic, with the verbal abuse. So this would probably help her too.

I just want to know how much do I tell the kids.

Thanks

best

You seem to have told them what they need to know.
It is not their fault. It is a disease.

Al a teen will help them better understand.

Janitw

You don't have to tell them anything - they already know. I think mine knew the minute they heard our fighting and smelled the alcohol on my ex.

Welcome to SR

Janit

guyinNC

I think you need to tell what they need to know, for their current ages. Dad is sick, with alcoholism, its not your fault. But as they get older, tell them more. Educate about alcoholism, the possible genetic links, so maybe they will stay away from the stuff.

Not discussing the elephant in the room does more harm than good.

spring

Yes. I agree with guy. I have talked to my kids since they were about that age. I reminded them as they get older that casual drinking may not be something they can do due to our family genetics. (My mom, my brother, my Grandfather, their other Grandmother) I use instances we see on T.V., movies, or when they tell me what's going on with their friends or classmates to discuss it. I do this in a very matter of fact way (not preachy) so hopefully they will internalize it. My daughter is now 19 and has no interest in drugs or alcohol.