TexasGirl

While I would say I'm doing pretty darn good thus far after leaving, I do have the random moments of doubt that creep in. Not the "maybe I should go back" kind, but the "maybe he is really serious this time" ones. Not that I want to go back...I don't think I would do that if he really did quit!!! But I don't want him to suffer, and it would be great if he really achieved this.

There are really 2 things to share. First, the other day he showed up at my office. When I got to my car, he was sitting in the car beside it. There was a bottle in the console, and my heart leapt to my throat, and then I saw it was non-a beer. Now, from everything I've read on here, that's not a good thing. Then I also saw that he'd polished off 2 or 3 of them already while he was driving around. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most people don't drive around town polishing off multiple non-a beers!!! Clearly he's not addressing the problem, right???

Also, he e-mailed me today (and yes, though I don't take calls, I still listen to/read messages for whatever weird reason), and it said he'd seen his therapist again (the one he started seeing when I left). He told me his therapist told him that he had really started to abuse alcohol and that if he wasn't careful he might become an alcoholic. Now that leaves one of three options here... 1) He wasn't honest with the therapist (bad sign), 2) He's lying to me about what the therapist said (bad sign), or 3) the therapist is a complete idiot (not likely).

So although I still have pangs of sadness for his situation, I am becoming more clear every day that I did the right thing. You agree, right, that these things demonstrate he's not really changing???

Minx1969

Yup..his actions are not quite what you would expect of someone in recovery.

Good for you for staying strong (and for paying attention to your gut!).

DesertEyes

Hey there TG,

I totally agree with you. It took him a long time to become what he is, so he's not gonna change in just a few weeks. I think you're doing real good in your recovery, and real good checking out your feelings with other folks in recovery like here on SR.

Mike

elizabeth1979

Well friend..changing WHAT?

Changing his appraoch to manipulate your actions and emotions? Yes.

Agree that your choice to leave was a good one? Yes
Agree that you are listening to yourself and your inner wisdom? Yes.


I am so proud of you. I dont usually like to say that bc I think it places alot of pressure on someone, especially if they have people pleasing issues, which are so common round non-alcoholic recovery groups.

Having said that, I am really happy for you.

denny57

TG, you know what I get out of your post? You know what you see, you trust what you see and you've got a tiny piece that still checks to make sure

You are doing great and should be patting yourself repeatedly on the back.

((()))

Cynay

Have to agree with the rest......

You are really an inspiration and you have SO much ESH to share after what you have been through and how hard its been to get this far. Im soooo happy for you

Zoey

You are getting there. Wonderful! (but sad I know) Being on your own is great isn't it? IMO it helps us see clearer. ((Hugs))

TexasGirl

I love you guys.

Janitw

TG - I agree with all thats been said and I think too that your now thinking with you head and not your heart which is a great thing for us codies.

(((hugs)))

Janit

yaya

Yep, his actions speak louder than words and the fact that he's driving around with a beverage that even tastes like beer indicates he's not addressing the problem. Good for you for being so strong. You are most definitely doing the right thing.