Hello, I am new here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 348
Hello, I am new here
This is my 2nd post, I somehow lost the first one.
Hello, my name is Joanne and I never want to drink again. I am 35 years old, stay at home mom with 2 beautiful boys (aged 33 months and 16 months) and a wonderful hubby. I have had a million and 1 embarrasing moments when drinking but somehow always manage to convince myself that it wasn't so bad.
I don't drink everyday, I sometimes only have one or two (however deep down I always want more). Every few months I have an episode where I binge drink and forget everything that happened, complete blackouts. I feel the effects of alcohol after my first drink and sometimes will forget stuff the next day after only having 2-3 drinks. I know that if I continue drinking something terrible will happen. I feel it!!! Drink and drive, kill someone, cheat on my wonderful husband or even worse my kids get hurt from my neglect when drinking.
When I was single, I was VERY PROMISCUOUS and was drunk every weekend. I am trying to rebuild my self-esteem but I still suffer from generalized anxiety. On the outside, nobody knows it. I appear self-confident, happy, beautiful family and home. On the inside, I am scared ********.
How can I quit drinking for good without convincing myself that it wasn't so bad? Last night, I ended up getting drunk by myself while my kids slept and hubby was on midnights. If my kids would of woke up, mommy would probably been passed out and unable to help. That is a terrifying thought for me.
I just want to be normal. I don't want to explain to people why I don't drink. I feel ashamed that I cannot control my drinking. I soooo wish I could. What am I going to do??
My boys are amazing. I don't want to ever embarrass or hurt them and I DON'T WANT TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT THAT WON'T HAPPEN. Thanks for listening.
Joanne
Hello, my name is Joanne and I never want to drink again. I am 35 years old, stay at home mom with 2 beautiful boys (aged 33 months and 16 months) and a wonderful hubby. I have had a million and 1 embarrasing moments when drinking but somehow always manage to convince myself that it wasn't so bad.
I don't drink everyday, I sometimes only have one or two (however deep down I always want more). Every few months I have an episode where I binge drink and forget everything that happened, complete blackouts. I feel the effects of alcohol after my first drink and sometimes will forget stuff the next day after only having 2-3 drinks. I know that if I continue drinking something terrible will happen. I feel it!!! Drink and drive, kill someone, cheat on my wonderful husband or even worse my kids get hurt from my neglect when drinking.
When I was single, I was VERY PROMISCUOUS and was drunk every weekend. I am trying to rebuild my self-esteem but I still suffer from generalized anxiety. On the outside, nobody knows it. I appear self-confident, happy, beautiful family and home. On the inside, I am scared ********.
How can I quit drinking for good without convincing myself that it wasn't so bad? Last night, I ended up getting drunk by myself while my kids slept and hubby was on midnights. If my kids would of woke up, mommy would probably been passed out and unable to help. That is a terrifying thought for me.
I just want to be normal. I don't want to explain to people why I don't drink. I feel ashamed that I cannot control my drinking. I soooo wish I could. What am I going to do??
My boys are amazing. I don't want to ever embarrass or hurt them and I DON'T WANT TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT THAT WON'T HAPPEN. Thanks for listening.
Joanne
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 2
I'm looking for those same anwsers...except with drugs. I 'm trying to conquer those same problems. I have an awsome girl and a great family but I can't get the beat this one drug. I did everything and I let them all go but this one just gets me everytime.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Its a disease, the is why.
Things started to get better when I found the doors of AA.
One thing at a time. Don't worry about what you tell other people about your drinking. Think about those lovely children. Those are the people you have to worry about.
One day at a time.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Laurie, Welcome!
Shame and guilt were such a huge part of drinking for me. I felt so horrible about myself, that I got into a viscious cycle. When I tried to stop, my negative feelings pushed me to drink again.
Just know that you can change things. You can stop drinking. Don't let it overwhelm you with thinking about 'forever' and what you will tell people. Just focus on yourself and changing your life for the better.
Shame and guilt were such a huge part of drinking for me. I felt so horrible about myself, that I got into a viscious cycle. When I tried to stop, my negative feelings pushed me to drink again.
Just know that you can change things. You can stop drinking. Don't let it overwhelm you with thinking about 'forever' and what you will tell people. Just focus on yourself and changing your life for the better.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!..
As soon as I quit drinking my blackouts stoppped.
After starting my AA recovery my self esteem soared.
2 great reasons to stay sober!!..
Blessings to you and your family..
As soon as I quit drinking my blackouts stoppped.
After starting my AA recovery my self esteem soared.
2 great reasons to stay sober!!..
Blessings to you and your family..
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 527
OMG Joanne. I could so relate to your post. I could have written it a while back. My kids and I are a little older, but I'm in a similar place. There is much experience and wisdom on this forum. Please keep coming back and posting and you will get the best advice. I wish I could give it to you myself but I'm still absorbing as much as I can also.
Hugs,
Candy Scratch
Hugs,
Candy Scratch
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
I was an isolator to get drunk to. I know what your saying. I've been sober since the day I arrived here and though life has taken a whole new direction I'm happy, I'm sober and free from the bonds that were making me sicker day by day. You can do this and just wait until you find that peace at last. Good luck, you can do this!
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,789
Hi Joanne, welcome to SR 
Glad you found us and congrats.
I used to drink on my own, often my whole world was 1 room and as many bottles of wine as I could get.
Since I quit and came here my life and my 'self' has chnaged. Life is like it has never been before.
Kepp coming back.
Kevin
Glad you found us and congrats.
I used to drink on my own, often my whole world was 1 room and as many bottles of wine as I could get.
Since I quit and came here my life and my 'self' has chnaged. Life is like it has never been before.
Kepp coming back.
Kevin
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