Marriage Cooked?
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 240
Marriage Cooked?
We had our first session of marriage counseling last night. Typical, first appointment with the therapist obtaining a history. Of course, if AH left something out I was more than happy to chime in and fill in the gaps (codie, codie, codie.)
He told AH he was under a lot of stress with finances, rocky marriage and that he HAD to maintain his sobriety and make it to 9 months. Said he could see how the stress he's under can lead to a relapse but stressed the huge accomplishment he's made and to keep it up. Then my turn.. "you're and intelligent woman, yet you make very poor decisions. You're not a very strong person are you? What's kept you in this relationship for 9 yrs? Fear of being alone, love for him, the dream that you won't let die?" He thinks I may still have grieving to be done over the death of my first husband that died 8 yrs ago. He asked where would you be right now if AH was not in your life. I said financially stable, emotionally secure basicly security in general. He said "it's never a good or smart idea to marry an addict and yet you knew it and you did it." What do you want, to work on the marriage or call it quits?" I say I don't know. AH, says I'm done for today and stands up to walk out. Counselor says ok C, it was nice to meet you. C, says you to and walks out. As soon as he leaves I look at counselor and say I just want a divorce. He says "why didn't you say that when he was here." I say because if I do divorce him I'm afraid of what will happen to him. Where he will go etc. He says he admires my compassion for AH but what do I want. I said, " because he's sober I'd like to try to make it work but I'm getting no indication that he wants it to work other than talk followed by no actions. So he tells me to tell AH, "I'm leaning towards divorce. I'm trying to see a glimmer of hope that you may want this to work but divorce is what I'm leaning toward." I tell him I've done this before but he gets upset and tells me I'm trying to get rid of him and that's been my plan all along. He says tell him again. Then he makes a follow up appt for me. Tells me to still keep the living situation the same (separate rooms, little contact) and think about if this is what I Really want or am I staying out of fear of being alone. I go to the bathroom. He says "C is outside on the front steps, I'm going to see if he's interested in making another appointment to see me."I go to the car. He comes out and says "That went well". "I'm seeing him again next week. When are u seeing him?" Next week I say. On the way home I ask "why did you walk out?" He said " It was difficult to hear him tell you that you should have never married me ( an addict). I didn't want to say anything I'd regret or would make me come out looking like and A$$hole. It made me angry to hear him say that but I knew he was right."
I told C I'm leaning toward divorce at this point. I'm looking for a shred of hope that there is reason to try working on this relationship and left it at that. We came home went to our separate spaces and that was that. Well not really, I did some journaling and started allowing myself to think of divorce as an option. It scares the crap out of me. I guess being alone is the biggest fear. I don't know what's going to happen next week or next year but I'm starting to allow myself to see all my options, and divorce although not how I wanted this to end is a real possibility. I still love him but I don't think he has anything to give to me right now as he is giving his all to his recovery. It could take years for him to work though all of his issues. Do I want to wait around especially since he shuts me out? Lots to think about...What do I want? I have no idea right now. I don't know if I ever did.
He told AH he was under a lot of stress with finances, rocky marriage and that he HAD to maintain his sobriety and make it to 9 months. Said he could see how the stress he's under can lead to a relapse but stressed the huge accomplishment he's made and to keep it up. Then my turn.. "you're and intelligent woman, yet you make very poor decisions. You're not a very strong person are you? What's kept you in this relationship for 9 yrs? Fear of being alone, love for him, the dream that you won't let die?" He thinks I may still have grieving to be done over the death of my first husband that died 8 yrs ago. He asked where would you be right now if AH was not in your life. I said financially stable, emotionally secure basicly security in general. He said "it's never a good or smart idea to marry an addict and yet you knew it and you did it." What do you want, to work on the marriage or call it quits?" I say I don't know. AH, says I'm done for today and stands up to walk out. Counselor says ok C, it was nice to meet you. C, says you to and walks out. As soon as he leaves I look at counselor and say I just want a divorce. He says "why didn't you say that when he was here." I say because if I do divorce him I'm afraid of what will happen to him. Where he will go etc. He says he admires my compassion for AH but what do I want. I said, " because he's sober I'd like to try to make it work but I'm getting no indication that he wants it to work other than talk followed by no actions. So he tells me to tell AH, "I'm leaning towards divorce. I'm trying to see a glimmer of hope that you may want this to work but divorce is what I'm leaning toward." I tell him I've done this before but he gets upset and tells me I'm trying to get rid of him and that's been my plan all along. He says tell him again. Then he makes a follow up appt for me. Tells me to still keep the living situation the same (separate rooms, little contact) and think about if this is what I Really want or am I staying out of fear of being alone. I go to the bathroom. He says "C is outside on the front steps, I'm going to see if he's interested in making another appointment to see me."I go to the car. He comes out and says "That went well". "I'm seeing him again next week. When are u seeing him?" Next week I say. On the way home I ask "why did you walk out?" He said " It was difficult to hear him tell you that you should have never married me ( an addict). I didn't want to say anything I'd regret or would make me come out looking like and A$$hole. It made me angry to hear him say that but I knew he was right."
I told C I'm leaning toward divorce at this point. I'm looking for a shred of hope that there is reason to try working on this relationship and left it at that. We came home went to our separate spaces and that was that. Well not really, I did some journaling and started allowing myself to think of divorce as an option. It scares the crap out of me. I guess being alone is the biggest fear. I don't know what's going to happen next week or next year but I'm starting to allow myself to see all my options, and divorce although not how I wanted this to end is a real possibility. I still love him but I don't think he has anything to give to me right now as he is giving his all to his recovery. It could take years for him to work though all of his issues. Do I want to wait around especially since he shuts me out? Lots to think about...What do I want? I have no idea right now. I don't know if I ever did.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: nor cal
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The fear of being alone is huge. The unknown is very scary. Do any of us really know what is going to happen tommorrow or next week. I know when I was with my ah I felt very lonely. My life was a roller coaster due to his actions.
When I left, it felt like I had more control over my life. I actually looked forward to the future instead of fearing it.
Our lifes can change in a heart beat, for the good and bad and I wanted to live my life the happiest and fullest. That is what you deserve.
Love and happiness should not be forced or controlled, it should come easily.
My counsoler told me relationships should not be this painful. I really had to look at that and realize their is a life out there, and my happiness should not rely so much on another person.
You need to figure out what YOU want. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. For years I always thought about everyones elses happiness and needs. It is coming slowly, but it is a pretty cool feeling taking care of me.
When I left, it felt like I had more control over my life. I actually looked forward to the future instead of fearing it.
Our lifes can change in a heart beat, for the good and bad and I wanted to live my life the happiest and fullest. That is what you deserve.
Love and happiness should not be forced or controlled, it should come easily.
My counsoler told me relationships should not be this painful. I really had to look at that and realize their is a life out there, and my happiness should not rely so much on another person.
You need to figure out what YOU want. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. For years I always thought about everyones elses happiness and needs. It is coming slowly, but it is a pretty cool feeling taking care of me.
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 240
That's exactly what I'm going to commit to from this day forth..figuring out what I want. I'm tired of thinking of his feelings over mine first. When I think about not being with him it's scary, but really I worry more about what will happen to him than what will happen to me. I am and have been fincancilly supporting myself (and him the majority of our relationship) since I've been 22years old. My mom died, dad died when I was 7 and I have been on my own financially since then. I was the primary financial supporter in my first marriage for reasons beyond my first husbands control (cancer, not being able to work) but his family did help a lot.
AH hasn't stood on his own two feet in 35yrs, sometimes I feel like his meal ticket, not his wife. Yes, he's working now but his work history has been sporadic his entire adult life. Yes, he is an alcholic and his disease has contributed to this but come on!!!
He's almost 9 months sober and I am so very proud of him for this and realize that he's going through some difficult times that I can't even comprehend. I want more, I need more and I deserve more. the question is can he give me what I want (when I truely figure that out) or is it going to be the same game only, sober. He's got the intelligence, he's got the degree, he's got the potential but for what-ever the reason he's never quite been able to tap into what he has and work with it. I may have said on posts before that I've detached from him but now thinking back, I don't believe I've REALLY detached from him. I want him to see his potential, he don't. I want him to want more for himself and his children, he don't seem to. I'm tired of trying to clean up the emotional mess his AH mother and good for nothing father have created. He Has to Help Himself, period. His intentions are always good it's the follow through that is the problem. I do believe in him but he don't believe in himself. I can't make him believe that there is good stuff out there for him. I can't make him reach for the stars and I can't sit around waiting for him to believe that he can have it if he wants it bad enough.
So, therapy has begun and it looks like it will be individual rather than marital counseling. I'm going for me. I get the feeling that he's going for me too. He's afraid to loose the security blanket that I have become to him. I'm tired of being his mommy, I want to be his wife. I want him to stand up and be the man he is meant to be and I'm not so sure he has it in him. Then again, I didn't think he'd ever check himself into a rehab center and get sober after 20years of alcohol/drug abuse and he did. He did it for himself now he has do get the rest of his **** together for himself not in order to hang onto me like a frightened child hangs onto their momma's hand because of separation anxiety. I don't need him. He needs me. I want to be needed in a healthy way not because he thinks/believes he can't stand on his own two feet. Does that make any sort of sense??
AH hasn't stood on his own two feet in 35yrs, sometimes I feel like his meal ticket, not his wife. Yes, he's working now but his work history has been sporadic his entire adult life. Yes, he is an alcholic and his disease has contributed to this but come on!!!
He's almost 9 months sober and I am so very proud of him for this and realize that he's going through some difficult times that I can't even comprehend. I want more, I need more and I deserve more. the question is can he give me what I want (when I truely figure that out) or is it going to be the same game only, sober. He's got the intelligence, he's got the degree, he's got the potential but for what-ever the reason he's never quite been able to tap into what he has and work with it. I may have said on posts before that I've detached from him but now thinking back, I don't believe I've REALLY detached from him. I want him to see his potential, he don't. I want him to want more for himself and his children, he don't seem to. I'm tired of trying to clean up the emotional mess his AH mother and good for nothing father have created. He Has to Help Himself, period. His intentions are always good it's the follow through that is the problem. I do believe in him but he don't believe in himself. I can't make him believe that there is good stuff out there for him. I can't make him reach for the stars and I can't sit around waiting for him to believe that he can have it if he wants it bad enough.
So, therapy has begun and it looks like it will be individual rather than marital counseling. I'm going for me. I get the feeling that he's going for me too. He's afraid to loose the security blanket that I have become to him. I'm tired of being his mommy, I want to be his wife. I want him to stand up and be the man he is meant to be and I'm not so sure he has it in him. Then again, I didn't think he'd ever check himself into a rehab center and get sober after 20years of alcohol/drug abuse and he did. He did it for himself now he has do get the rest of his **** together for himself not in order to hang onto me like a frightened child hangs onto their momma's hand because of separation anxiety. I don't need him. He needs me. I want to be needed in a healthy way not because he thinks/believes he can't stand on his own two feet. Does that make any sort of sense??
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
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Hmmmm...some people are too lazy to be productive.
They settle for the easy way...always.
I have a handsome intellegent educated
Grandson who is that way.
No drinking No drugs No ambition!!
They settle for the easy way...always.
I have a handsome intellegent educated
Grandson who is that way.
No drinking No drugs No ambition!!
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Very frustrating situation for you. Everything you say can be condensed to wishing that HE would live up to HIS potential.
I married Ms potential. I wish I had realized that you marry the person, not their potential. Could have saved me a lot of heart ache. I would have told you that from my first marriage I learned the you can't change someone. Guess I didn't really learn that lesson after all.
I married Ms potential. I wish I had realized that you marry the person, not their potential. Could have saved me a lot of heart ache. I would have told you that from my first marriage I learned the you can't change someone. Guess I didn't really learn that lesson after all.
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
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Aren't you alone now? Sometimes I think we stay with alcoholics because they distract us from ourselves. You aren't afraid of being alone. You are afraid of him and being judged as a quitter. I think you have to look at it differently. Here is what I did when I was doing the same thing. I had to realize that my marriage either honored God of it disgraced Him. Marriage in my mind is a holy institution. I remember the vows I spoke. What I had dismissed is the vows I heard. This man promised to love me, honor me, cherish me, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part. You are a gift from God to this man. You were an opportunity for this man. Does his addiction mock God or honor Him? God will not bless a mockery and I firmly believe that while I was determined to stay praying to near insanity, trying to find the sanity to stay and live, God was saying. "Go". To this day, if it doesn't honor God, it is not a part of my life.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: TX
Posts: 371
Blizzard - I know it is very difficult to get to a point where you know w/o a doubt what you want. You want to be there for him - if he's going to be sober and work on things. BUT will the person that he's become in the mean time make your life together worth it? Will YOU being the provider make you happy or still stress you out?
I can see where we have similar circumstances, especially the fear of being alone. It's very hard to think about day to day life on our own. What will happen to them? We aren't supposed to think about that. We are supposed to focus on what will happen to us.
I wish you luck on finding what "you" want and need. I am trying to do the same.... (((hugs)))
I can see where we have similar circumstances, especially the fear of being alone. It's very hard to think about day to day life on our own. What will happen to them? We aren't supposed to think about that. We are supposed to focus on what will happen to us.
I wish you luck on finding what "you" want and need. I am trying to do the same.... (((hugs)))
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
Posts: 600
There isnt a person alive,who ever lived up to my expectations of them.Nor have i lived up to their expectations.My expections as well as theirs didnt allow for growth,.Didnt allow things to happen,in process.And they were higher,sometimes my expectaions were higher on others,than my,on, own self.So i stoped,all the expectaions.It was hurting,me and others,too.
When i came to recovery rooms,i knew in my heart of hearts that,our marriage was fried,big time.All i had to do,was to make the move.My sponsor said to me,hold it!!!Time for me to take the focus of him,and work with a open mind and heart,only on my recovery.As im doing this,im changing,my thoughts,changing my feelings.Im changing,.Stay or go,recovery is important,to make clearer decisions in my life.I prayed asking for God's will in our marriage.No longer my wants,if he changes,and all that stuff.Just asking Gods will.From my own experince,God has changed what seemed to be a hopeless person,who didnt follow His,will,into miracles.After that person handed their lives over to the care of God.
This is how it has worked for us.What i thought and trully believed was the living end,turned around to a miracle.Who knows what will happen.Let,go,Let God work into my, life.My staying or going i left in the hands of God.
For myself all my issues,have had ,and are having to this day,spiritual solutions.
My prayers for you both,
When i came to recovery rooms,i knew in my heart of hearts that,our marriage was fried,big time.All i had to do,was to make the move.My sponsor said to me,hold it!!!Time for me to take the focus of him,and work with a open mind and heart,only on my recovery.As im doing this,im changing,my thoughts,changing my feelings.Im changing,.Stay or go,recovery is important,to make clearer decisions in my life.I prayed asking for God's will in our marriage.No longer my wants,if he changes,and all that stuff.Just asking Gods will.From my own experince,God has changed what seemed to be a hopeless person,who didnt follow His,will,into miracles.After that person handed their lives over to the care of God.
This is how it has worked for us.What i thought and trully believed was the living end,turned around to a miracle.Who knows what will happen.Let,go,Let God work into my, life.My staying or going i left in the hands of God.
For myself all my issues,have had ,and are having to this day,spiritual solutions.
My prayers for you both,
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
You know this is just a though but ......
As a codi I tend to have an ALL or NOTHING mindset. I can not even tell you how many times I have made choices that might not have been in my best interest because of this....
Perhaps you could look at all options. Divorce is pretty sever and maybe your not ready for that.... sounds like you have already tried living in the same house and seperating (different bedrooms) .... but you continue to keep focusing on him, maybe because he is in your immediate space.... Have you thought about seperating so that you both have to space to work on yourselves???
To be really honest Im not sure why you expect him to be able to work on the marriage during the first year of soberity..... Also Im REALLY suprised that a marriage counslor would say all that and even more stuned that they did on the first sesson and in front of him. This is only my opinion but if I went to counceling for my marriage and they told me and my SO that on the first session..... I would be out of there and finding someone that helps me/us figure it out....
I do understand you anger and frustration. I could not live with my ex-abf even when he got sober..... Of course by the time we ended I was spiraling too far down to even get help for myself. I agree though that you two need individual help before you can work together.... I used Al-anon, counceling, SR and Alot of reading.... The thing that helps me alot is the Face to Face meetings so I can get a different perspective from a varity of people that really do understand and are where I want to be.... gotta love support groups.
*hugs* I know its a hard road.
As a codi I tend to have an ALL or NOTHING mindset. I can not even tell you how many times I have made choices that might not have been in my best interest because of this....
Perhaps you could look at all options. Divorce is pretty sever and maybe your not ready for that.... sounds like you have already tried living in the same house and seperating (different bedrooms) .... but you continue to keep focusing on him, maybe because he is in your immediate space.... Have you thought about seperating so that you both have to space to work on yourselves???
To be really honest Im not sure why you expect him to be able to work on the marriage during the first year of soberity..... Also Im REALLY suprised that a marriage counslor would say all that and even more stuned that they did on the first sesson and in front of him. This is only my opinion but if I went to counceling for my marriage and they told me and my SO that on the first session..... I would be out of there and finding someone that helps me/us figure it out....
I do understand you anger and frustration. I could not live with my ex-abf even when he got sober..... Of course by the time we ended I was spiraling too far down to even get help for myself. I agree though that you two need individual help before you can work together.... I used Al-anon, counceling, SR and Alot of reading.... The thing that helps me alot is the Face to Face meetings so I can get a different perspective from a varity of people that really do understand and are where I want to be.... gotta love support groups.
*hugs* I know its a hard road.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Bronx, NY
Posts: 412
Blizzard I shouldn't post here because I don't have any experience with marriage or divorce, but I was thinking along the same lines as Cynay in regards to your husband and the therapy session (just didn't think it would be acceptable to say it...). I find the therapist's comments a little off-putting too, since he knew he was dealing with someone with less than a year sobriety.
You said that your are proud of your husband for his recovery so far... it's not even 9 mos living sober, that's a lot for him to have on his plate right now AND work on his marriage in marriage counseling AND have what you consider the right level of motivation ...etc.
NONE of which is to say that your needs shouldn't be met or that you should spend your life waiting on him...not at all! I just think during this time while you are not entirely sure what you want just yet-- take your time to really think it through and figure out what your resentments are based on and what specifically you need from him in this marriage-- and how much longer you are willing to wait and see if the pieces fall into place.
Maybe you both just need some time, like Cynay said?
We've all, I'm sure, read alot in Al-Anon literature about not making hasty, emotional decisions. You are going through as much as he is in your own way, so give yourself time to find your center. My therapist always tells me that my emotionality makes me lose my center and the big picture, and that I shouldn't decide anything or open my mouth until I get it back. Nothing comes fast or easy, though. It's been a lesson in patience!
Lately I've been asking the big questions in meditation- I'm told guiding answers come in some form when you put them out there- but I dunno if you're into that sort of thing. It's really no different than praying for God's will. I believe praying/meditating/energies/the 'universe' are all tapping into the same force, we just call it whatever we want. But answers do come... And your answer might indeed be to divorce, I'm just suggesting taking a calm and thoughtful road to discover it.
Anyway, I really do wish the best for both of you, and I hope you can find some peace in this time.
You said that your are proud of your husband for his recovery so far... it's not even 9 mos living sober, that's a lot for him to have on his plate right now AND work on his marriage in marriage counseling AND have what you consider the right level of motivation ...etc.
NONE of which is to say that your needs shouldn't be met or that you should spend your life waiting on him...not at all! I just think during this time while you are not entirely sure what you want just yet-- take your time to really think it through and figure out what your resentments are based on and what specifically you need from him in this marriage-- and how much longer you are willing to wait and see if the pieces fall into place.
Maybe you both just need some time, like Cynay said?
We've all, I'm sure, read alot in Al-Anon literature about not making hasty, emotional decisions. You are going through as much as he is in your own way, so give yourself time to find your center. My therapist always tells me that my emotionality makes me lose my center and the big picture, and that I shouldn't decide anything or open my mouth until I get it back. Nothing comes fast or easy, though. It's been a lesson in patience!
Lately I've been asking the big questions in meditation- I'm told guiding answers come in some form when you put them out there- but I dunno if you're into that sort of thing. It's really no different than praying for God's will. I believe praying/meditating/energies/the 'universe' are all tapping into the same force, we just call it whatever we want. But answers do come... And your answer might indeed be to divorce, I'm just suggesting taking a calm and thoughtful road to discover it.
Anyway, I really do wish the best for both of you, and I hope you can find some peace in this time.
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 928
9 months of sobriety is still early..He is probably not capable of focusing on the marriage and it's issues yet.
In both Alanon and AA - they suggest no major changes for a year. So..you might consider no divorce until you give it a year of fullon Alanon and therapy.
Alot can happen in a year....
Also - I'd find a new therapist..one that specialize in Addiction issues.
In both Alanon and AA - they suggest no major changes for a year. So..you might consider no divorce until you give it a year of fullon Alanon and therapy.
Alot can happen in a year....
Also - I'd find a new therapist..one that specialize in Addiction issues.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 240
Thank you all for your suggestions. I will continue on with alanon and therapy, I'm going to see this man one more time before I go switching counselors. AH did make a follow up appointment with him but I will mention to him that he always has the option of choosing another counselor that meets his needs. I have a good mental health insucance plan and we are each getting 3 free sessions through my EAP.
I don't mean to sound cold or harsh when I speak of AH, I know he's working on a lot of things within himself and our marriage is seemingly last on the list. I was told the same thing from hospice when first H died, no major changes for one year. Cynay, unfortunately due to financial circumstances we have no other choice but to live in the same home. We have no family/friends here that either of us could stay with.
I am going home to Buffalo, NY for a four day little vacation (my best friend is FINALLY getting married) and I've decided to go alone. I need to be alone and away even for a brief time. I'm so excited and have made plans with my friends and family that I hope to fit all in while I'm there. I miss the food and can't wait to eat some real chicken wings LOL. AH, was some what upset when I told him I wanted to go alone (my step-mom is my date for the wedding) but he seems ok with it now that all the plans/flight has been arranged.
I guess I am expecting too much after a short period of sobriety. I always hoped and prayed he'd get sober. The longest he was sober in the nine yrs with me was 3 months, but he was still smoking pot so I guess that's not sober huh?
I never imagined living with his sobriety would be just as difficult if not more difficult than living with his active disease.
I'm trying to keep the focus on me but as you all know that's difficult for a codie to do. So.........the road towards recovery continues. I hope to have more forward steps and less backward steps and to stop getting (lost) so frequently on my journey. One day at a time.
Love and Prayers to All.
I don't mean to sound cold or harsh when I speak of AH, I know he's working on a lot of things within himself and our marriage is seemingly last on the list. I was told the same thing from hospice when first H died, no major changes for one year. Cynay, unfortunately due to financial circumstances we have no other choice but to live in the same home. We have no family/friends here that either of us could stay with.
I am going home to Buffalo, NY for a four day little vacation (my best friend is FINALLY getting married) and I've decided to go alone. I need to be alone and away even for a brief time. I'm so excited and have made plans with my friends and family that I hope to fit all in while I'm there. I miss the food and can't wait to eat some real chicken wings LOL. AH, was some what upset when I told him I wanted to go alone (my step-mom is my date for the wedding) but he seems ok with it now that all the plans/flight has been arranged.
I guess I am expecting too much after a short period of sobriety. I always hoped and prayed he'd get sober. The longest he was sober in the nine yrs with me was 3 months, but he was still smoking pot so I guess that's not sober huh?
I never imagined living with his sobriety would be just as difficult if not more difficult than living with his active disease.
I'm trying to keep the focus on me but as you all know that's difficult for a codie to do. So.........the road towards recovery continues. I hope to have more forward steps and less backward steps and to stop getting (lost) so frequently on my journey. One day at a time.
Love and Prayers to All.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Originally Posted by blizzard77
AH did make a follow up appointment with him but I will mention to him that he always has the option of choosing another counselor that meets his needs.
((()))
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 240
Denny,
You're right, I'm not going to say anything to hism regarding his choice of a counselor. He can figure that one out, I'm sure. The counselor did tell me that I needed to call the EAP and get a new authorization # for C but I told him he'd have to tell C what he has do do in order to get HIS auth #. That was progress. Next challenge...not asking him whether or not he's called the insurance company to get it. I'm up to the challenge!!!!
You're right, I'm not going to say anything to hism regarding his choice of a counselor. He can figure that one out, I'm sure. The counselor did tell me that I needed to call the EAP and get a new authorization # for C but I told him he'd have to tell C what he has do do in order to get HIS auth #. That was progress. Next challenge...not asking him whether or not he's called the insurance company to get it. I'm up to the challenge!!!!
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