OnceNice

Okay, today I feel sorta good. Not all the way. I still have drinking on the brain.

But I went to bed last night at about 9:30. Woke up at 3:00 and fell back asleep till 4:30. That's the most sleep I've had in a long time.

I kinda feel like working today.

The days are getting easier, but the nights are kinda hard.

Been eating fruits and vegetables, but yesterday I did kill a bag (big bag) of starburst again. My dentist is gonna have a field day.

This is where I'll get cocky. Need to find a program, AA drives me crazy, but I'm going. Not alot. Just maybe once a week and then me and my friend are going to move it up to twice a week. He has to for court purposes. I don't have to go at all. So I'm trying to go for me to see if sinks in. He seems to like it.

Anyway. I kinda feel guilty that I feel alright. Not great. This still sucks and I still don't believe people feel good after only 21 days, but I do feel better. Still foggy in the morning. But it wasn't so bad today. I think its cause I got about 7 hours of sleep. Well thought I'd say something semi postive. Hope that's okay.

RubyT

So glad to hear that today's started on a more positive note for you. You so deserve it. Keep up the good work. Send some of that good karma my way...it's raining for the third straight day, I'm married to an idiot, cleaning house sucks, blah blah blah. Sorry to be a downer on your positive post.. : (

OnceNice

Thank you. That is a very real statement and I'm assuming that you are involved in AA and can admit that. Makes me feel better that I can go there and disagree sometimes with what others are saying and how others are working the program. Had some bad instances there and some bad things said to me. Thank you for that comment now I know I can go and know that others sometimes might think some things are crappy too.

Hope I didn't misunderstand you.

Thanks.

Anna

I'm glad you're feeling better today!

Smyle

hey Rose.....I am glad that you finally got some good sleep last night.

That is always a good thing, I also want to say.....Great job on 21 days ....you are doing an excellent job and deserve to feel better.

I hope you have a smooth day and here is a BIG hug for ya....
~B

laurie6781

Ok Once, I think you have a wee bit of a misconception of AA maybe not.

First of all I never said I Liked AA in the beginning, roflmao, cause I sure didn't. I DID FEEL SAFE WHEN I WAS IN A MEETING or at the place where the meeting would be held soon.

I hated it at first. As sick as I was, the fact that I had died, didn't seem to matter, those *&%*&** people weren't gonna tell me what to do, lmao.

This is no great race, sobriety is an ONGOING JOURNEY. I think you're doing pretty good, feeling just a wee bit better, see it does happen, slowly, but it does, lol. Got just a bit more sleep last night, that is great!

So, why not just accompany your friend for a while as support for him, and see what happens. You post here when you are at work, and you have my phone number, you can call anytime ........ you know that.

Sweetie, you are at 3 weeks!!!!!! That in itself is a MIRALE!!!!!

Oh and btw I think SKITTLES are your CANDY OF CHOICE and this is just an excellent excuse to eat all you want, roflmao. Go for it, what the hell, your body will settle down and get back in balance and your Skittle consumption will also return to an acceptable level for you. lol

You are doing great!

Love and hugs,

janeeyre

(((ROSE)))

You are just awesome, and I am so glad you finally got some sleep!

I have to tell you, your posts the past couple of weeks have really motivated me. It is so good to see you doing better and better as the days go by. I know it doesn't feel very "better" much of the time, but maybe the way you feel today is worth it-?

So how are the cats--is the one coming out from under the furniture yet?

Have a great day!

Hugs,
Jane

OnceNice

Barney is having a great time with Claude. He's coming out but he won't come any where near me. He runs from me. I can't catch him to get his rabbies shot. Its been three weeks and I'm not foamng at the mouth so I think I"m safe. He just don't like humans. I really miss my cat clementine. I could have used her these 21 days. She's a lap cat and a snuggler. But I had to put her down.

Erin

Hey OnceNice
Not sure why you feel guilty about feeling better at 21 days. You're doing a wicked job. Hell... I got more motivated when I started feeling better and that included sleep.

I don't think AA is the only option for recovery but it works for a great many. I haven't gone and have other things going on instead - like my therapist, doctor, family, and friends. Plus I'm spend a lot of time doing stuff I enjoy that I couldn't do while I was sober like exercising.

Good on you for the 21.

BTW... I had a lousy sleep last night the first one in a while. Go figure. Fortunately I'm so stressed right now that I can live on adrenaline for a few days.

c'est la vie

Why on Earth would you feel bad about feeling good?? It's great that you're beginning to see and feel the payoff. Just think that it will continue - this isn't as good as it gets, lol.

And of course you can post all the postitive posts you want. It won't make us think, "whew, we fixed her, now move on to the next one" ROFLMAO

you're doing SUPER!!

michski

Steve58

Hi Once,

Glad to hear it is getting a little better for you, After quitting, I will wake up for hours several times a night, but as time goes by, it shrinks, I was barely awake for 10 min at a time last night. I hope you get there as well, soon.

It's hard, but you are doing so well, please keep it up, and stay an inspiration to guys like me with all of 8 days behind us

Love,
S

OnceNice

I'm no inspiration. I hate every minute of this. I truly do. But what choice to I have. I can drink and be miserable, poor and make the others around me sad. Or I can not drink. This free will stuff stinks. Sometimes I wish I didn't have the option to make the choice you know. i want someone else to do it for me. I know that's wrong, but a girl can dream can't she.

c'est la vie

I know that feeling. It gets easier to argue with your own mind. It seems less like work and more like a fleeting thought. Of course I'm only at 3 months so it's not free floating every day yet. I still have bad days when I REALLY crave a drink, but I won't give in since I don't want to have to go through those same 3 months again. It's not about the counting, it's about the pain.

You can dream all you want, but when it comes to picking up a drink, stop dreaming and take action to NOT DRINK.

girlindc

glad you are feeling better today!!! rock on

Cindi R

****{Rose}}}
I'm so happy for you...

NEEDTOBESOBER

Congratulations on 21 days-keep it up and dont give in.

michski

You most certainly sound like you've begun a wonderful journey to the whole BIG rest of your life honey!!! Making others around you feel bad is for me the worse thing I did. I have never in my life thought of myself as selfish but when I realized what I was doing to my friends and family, I realized just how darn selfish I had been. I often think of all of them as my higher power, because they are my family and my reality. You get a little older you begin to value the people who truly care for you, regardless of the baggage they carry.. they always continue to love you hoping one day you'll love yourself.

Steve58

Hi Once,

You are an inspiration to be because I can tell your fighting against much worse odds than I am, and your victory will be so much the greater! Keep trying and keep posting, we're all pulling for you!

Steve58

Btw, Once,

Have you considered antibuse? May take the "free will" out of it for you. I am very close to using it, myself, I have read good and bad about it. If you are not familiar with it, google it and see what you think. You can buy it online without seeing a doctor (well, a real doc, anyway).

Hope each day for you is better than the last!

Love,
S